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Margo Howard | 07/07/2009 9:00 am

Today Is the Day, by Margo Howard

On the day of Michael Jackson’s funeral, our ‘Dear Margo’ reflects on the ‘surreal’ life — and death — of the iconic pop singer.
Margo Howard

Editor’s Note: A longtime journalist, Margo Howard went into the family business (her mother was the fabled Ann Landers) in the 1990s as Dear Prudence. Her broad experience and understanding of human nature provide answers for the troubled — and entertainment for everyone else. Margo’s advice column, Dear Margo, appears twice a week — on Thursdays and Fridays — on wowOwow.com.

This is a very delicate subject to write about, and I wavered, but I decided to do it because it is all so fascinating, in a loony kind of way, and says quite a bit about our country. I am talking about the aftermath of Michael Jackson’s death. It is becoming surreal, as perhaps was his life. (Let us stipulate that there is perhaps no one who does not think the man was an enormous and charismatic talent.) For one thing, the city of Los Angeles (along with the state it is part of, California) is flat broke, and the funereal circus coming to town is estimated to stick the city for two million bucks in services and overtime. The hotels, however, are getting a shot in the arm … forgive the infelicitous phrase in this particular discussion.

And then one wonders why all these fans feel the need to go to a memorial service where there will be more pushing and shoving than at a European soccer match. The need to be there is crowd hysteria; it is one thing to have admired an artist and to be sad he has died, but quite another to go to a stranger’s service. Some lottery winners (yes, there are tickets, which are actually spangly wristbands) have said they just needed to sign the book. I wonder who they think is going to read this book with thousands of names unknown to anyone. And I wonder if there’s ever been a memorial service for 20,000 people? (Never mind that there were 1,600,000 applications.) Perhaps an inducement was to see people such as Stevie Wonder, Mariah Carey, Usher, Lionel Richie, Kobe Bryant, Jennifer Hudson, John Mayer and Martin Luther King III … and maybe see them perform. Fifty theaters nationwide will be broadcasting the services. This is surely a first.

Jackson’s good buddy, Elizabeth Taylor, in this instance the exemplar of good taste, said she will be mourning in private. She said this on Twitter. "I just don’t believe that Michael would want me to share my grief with millions of others," she tweeted. "How I feel is between us."

Debbie Rowe, the mother (sort of) of two of Michael’s children, planned to come, then decided against it … I suspect for different reasons than Ms. Taylor.

There is nothing that is not news about Jackson’s demise. It was announced Monday that he will be buried without his brain. This is so that it can harden, allowing pathologists to do tests to that will reveal what substances the singer has taken over a period of time.

310 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Patty E
Probably like I am not sure condescending insults are necessary, when the goal is ‘discussion’….
By Patty E on 07/07/2009 8:39 pm
Willow K
Its not something I would choose either —big public funeral/memorial. But people make their own choices.  Remember the big public funeral or Reagan, versus the private services for Gerald Ford.  I’m more of a Ford, but can’t begudge the Reagans their method of grieving (or celebrating his life).
By Willow K on 07/07/2009 7:06 pm
Karen R
As was once said - funerals are for the living. The family had their private service in the morning. This afternoon was for the fans.
By Karen R on 07/07/2009 8:38 pm
Kari Bergesen

I have to say I  don’t get it - why people feel the need to attack Margo for her viewpoints or her phraseology.  As someone else said - debate, fine - but really, this is not a debate.

Admittedly, I tend to agree with Margo on a lot of issues - that is why I read her column.  But, she isn’t a political figure and I just don’t see how it is necessary to take her down for any reason.  When I think someone is full of crap, I just don’t waste my time with them, unless it really would be important to argue the case - that is, if their opinion will actually harm someone else.  Sorry, can’t see that happening here.(unless she gives some really rotten advice but that is a different matter ) 

And as for those people on the Sarah Palin response posts telling Margo about how her own mother was, please!  Her mother wrote in a different time. And none of you know how she really felt about anything.  I certainly can’t imagine you know more about it than her own daughter. What nerve!

By Kari Bergesen on 07/07/2009 8:19 pm
Patty E
I applaud you for your comment!!!
By Patty E on 07/07/2009 8:38 pm
Vince Pacella
It’s times like this that I’m glad I dont have cable or TV.  Absent TV one could almsot be totally oblivious to what apparently is a non-ending baraage of news about this freak.
By Vince Pacella on 07/07/2009 9:29 pm
Libra Lady

Vince…well something about mj is positive:

MSN: 50% more watched Jackson than inauguration…

By Libra Lady on 07/07/2009 10:14 pm
Jeanie Black

All of you Broohaha’s - and you know who you are - who want to make stuffily-boring opinionated commentaries about beating a dead horse are missing the point once again: there was no circus at the Memorial Celebration today in Los Angeles at Staples Center. And - the LAPD sure enjoyed being paid to walk around, sipping coffee and making sure everyone respectfully handled themselves in a manner expected by all of us wishing to acknowledge the value of the life of another human being on the planet. It came back to me in a lightening flash when everyone present began singing Michael Jackson’s "HEAL THE WORLD"!!!

I remembered how I was going to overcome being the victim of violent crime & further domestic violence in my own experience I was learning how to survive… Michael created the "HEAL THE WORLD" Foundation & the Song had already been released. I thought about what he was doing & I felt he was having an impact that would ultimately make a huge difference. I thought about my own life experience & I knew that If Michael Jackson could say "HEAL THE WORLD", then, I could choose to Heal Myself by not remaining silent & by speaking out more courageously, making myself more visible, becoming big enough to save myself from impending total disaster. Today, I was reminded of that. And - I remembered that Michael Jackson ultimately, in choosing to "HEAL THE WORLD" genuinely saved my life!!! Stop the CRAP About the DEAD HORSE!!! MICHAEL JACKSON’s Spirit WILL CONTINUE TO LIVE IN ALL OF US WHO SHARE TRUE COMPASSION WHILE ALL WHO WITCHES CONTINUE TO SNIVEL ABOUT BEING DEMOCRATS!!! KINDLY GET OVER YOURSELVES, PLEASE!!! GET REAL & HEAL YOURSELVES & ALL OF US!!! ^_^ PEACE, LOVE & SUPREME CELESTIAL HARMONIOUS VIBES!!! THANKS FOR LISTENING/2 SNAPS!!!

By Jeanie Black on 07/08/2009 12:58 am
S G
Well I find it amazing how some of you knew Micheal Jackson as a person so well. As someone who worked in the entertainment industry I am here to tell you nothing about the person is what you know. I do not know what the man did or didn’t do nor do you know it alls. I have seen leeches who suck everything they can out of these folks and good friends who were not listened to. It is quite easy to crucify any of these people. Compassion is lacking not only for his family out of some but compassion for each other. I believe and it is my opinion those kids were his everything. Secondly if you haven’t been around the entertainment industry you have no clue. These people have a public perssona and then there is the person. Once again I did not know or ever work with Micheal. I do know that things are not always what they seem. Maybe a good lesson here is think before you talk. Put yourself in a position of being accused of something. Once again we will never know but who are we to judge? Those of you who judge who will judge you?
By S G on 07/08/2009 7:53 am
Terri D
Beautifully said, S G! I think we all could take a moment to re-read your words & hopefully, learn a thing or two about compassion. Not just for the times when someone has passed but for those in our everyday lives. It seems to me that it’s become much easier to lash out & attack instead of empathizing & showing some compassion. I will never know what it’s like for anyone, family included, since I have never walked in their shoes. Thank you for a reminder of the person I would prefer to be. I’ll try much harder to practice this. I have a feeling I will live a better life. 
By Terri D on 07/08/2009 8:18 am
Karen R
British trash tabloids? Might as well link to the Star or the Enquirer.
By Karen R on 07/08/2009 9:45 am
S G
I found it anything but bizarre. I seen a group of stunned friends and family paying tribute to someone they actually knew and loved. Paris wasn’t uncomfortable,but a grieving child for a loved parent. Again speculation can go on and I am sure will. Truthfully we will never know. I do know as a species we seem to love to pick each other apart even when we have no true knowledge of the other.Once again there was a personna and then there was a person. The personna was to each as they would take away from it. The person was someone most of us did not know.
By S G on 07/08/2009 9:45 am
Rain in Minneapolis
I agree.  Anyone who watched the memorial and wasn’t moved by it has a heart like a stone.  Furthermore, it’s in extremely bad taste to speak ill of the dead.
By Rain in Minneapolis on 07/08/2009 10:30 am
Rachel F

Oh, gee, I’ll keep that in mind when talking about Hitler, Stalin, etc.

Some live their lives in such a way that speaking of them necessitates "speaking ill". 

By Rachel F on 07/08/2009 10:49 am