Entertainment | 08/03/2009 10:15 am
Mr. wOw's Very White Moment
There is nothing even remotely funny in the Professor Gates, Policeman Crowley, President Obama drama that has played out over the past two weeks.
This incident and the rise-again of the infamous "birther" conspiracy aficionados – cluelessly helped along by the likes of Chris Matthews and Rachel Maddow, who are supposed to be on Obama’s side! – are deeply depressing. Fear mongering and racist sentiments against Obama have been prevalent for two years, but since he had the audacity to be elected president of these United States, the hate and outrage have been seething, and looking for any good excuse to explode. Unfortunately, Obama gave his enemies the opening by weighing in on Gates/Crowley. It’s too late now, and beer won’t cauterize this ugly, festering sore. (Nor will Gates’s daughter, the haughty Elizabeth, whose blogs don’t do anybody any favors.)
But Mr. wOw has been reminded of something amusing and instructive on the subject of race, a lighter thought in a terrible time.
Years ago, Mr. wOw had the opportunity to interview Miss Dionne Warwick. Having always been a fan, we were excited. That enthusiasm was somewhat dampened by everybody I spoke to. "She’s a bitch!" "She’s a diva!" "You won’t get a thing out of her!" "Don’t do it, she’s such a bad interview!" Still, we’d heard that before about any number of entertainers, and things turned out just fine. Mr. W. was also warned against mentioning Dionne’s stint as huckster for The Psychic Network. As we’d always looked askance at that bit of business, there was no interest in reminding the star of something she probably did for money. (Funny thing is, I don’t remember exactly what Dionne was pushing at the time.)
The day arrived and we were met in the lobby of a midtown NYC hotel by Miss Warwick’s PR person of the moment. He warned me again about the Psychic Network and kept looking at me mournfully, as if I was in the tumbrel, heading for the guillotine.
Up to her suite, and nervous for sure. This was a big mistake we were now certain. Knock, knock and enter. There is Dionne, seated in the middle of the room. She is … lovely, welcoming, intelligent. She did not breathe fire. Great bone structure. I wish I could recall exactly what it was we talked about, but she was open to all my questions, did not evade, was not difficult. But what I do remember is that Dionne had a considerable entourage and perhaps some family with her. While nobody "sat in" on the interview, people came and went, paused nearby as she spoke, took calls, etc. And as the hour or so passed, I suddenly realized that I was the only white person there. And really white – naturally pale and recently bleached blonde. I felt … odd, alone, uncomfortable. Nobody made me feel this way – certainly not Miss Warwick. But the sense of edgy singularity, of being a stranger in a strange land was oppressive, and perhaps even – absurdly considering the benign circumstances – threatening.
As I rose to leave, and took an affectionate good-bye from Miss Warwick, I thought, "Wow, this is what it’s like to be separate, not among your own, adrift culturally, and wary."
I felt instantly and do today that this was one of the major moments in my life. This totally innocuous meeting, safe in every way, challenged all I’d thought I was as a person. (So liberal, so relaxed!) If I could feel this way as a white person interviewing a black celebrity in a luxurious hotel suite – with drinks and a snack – what did the average black person feel when confronted by an all-white, un-glamorous "real life" situation? Every white person should have what I now refer to as "The Dionne Warwick Moment."
Believe me, you’d understand just a little bit more.
This incident and the rise-again of the infamous "birther" conspiracy aficionados – cluelessly helped along by the likes of Chris Matthews and Rachel Maddow, who are supposed to be on Obama’s side! – are deeply depressing. Fear mongering and racist sentiments against Obama have been prevalent for two years, but since he had the audacity to be elected president of these United States, the hate and outrage have been seething, and looking for any good excuse to explode. Unfortunately, Obama gave his enemies the opening by weighing in on Gates/Crowley. It’s too late now, and beer won’t cauterize this ugly, festering sore. (Nor will Gates’s daughter, the haughty Elizabeth, whose blogs don’t do anybody any favors.)
But Mr. wOw has been reminded of something amusing and instructive on the subject of race, a lighter thought in a terrible time.
Years ago, Mr. wOw had the opportunity to interview Miss Dionne Warwick. Having always been a fan, we were excited. That enthusiasm was somewhat dampened by everybody I spoke to. "She’s a bitch!" "She’s a diva!" "You won’t get a thing out of her!" "Don’t do it, she’s such a bad interview!" Still, we’d heard that before about any number of entertainers, and things turned out just fine. Mr. W. was also warned against mentioning Dionne’s stint as huckster for The Psychic Network. As we’d always looked askance at that bit of business, there was no interest in reminding the star of something she probably did for money. (Funny thing is, I don’t remember exactly what Dionne was pushing at the time.)
The day arrived and we were met in the lobby of a midtown NYC hotel by Miss Warwick’s PR person of the moment. He warned me again about the Psychic Network and kept looking at me mournfully, as if I was in the tumbrel, heading for the guillotine.
Up to her suite, and nervous for sure. This was a big mistake we were now certain. Knock, knock and enter. There is Dionne, seated in the middle of the room. She is … lovely, welcoming, intelligent. She did not breathe fire. Great bone structure. I wish I could recall exactly what it was we talked about, but she was open to all my questions, did not evade, was not difficult. But what I do remember is that Dionne had a considerable entourage and perhaps some family with her. While nobody "sat in" on the interview, people came and went, paused nearby as she spoke, took calls, etc. And as the hour or so passed, I suddenly realized that I was the only white person there. And really white – naturally pale and recently bleached blonde. I felt … odd, alone, uncomfortable. Nobody made me feel this way – certainly not Miss Warwick. But the sense of edgy singularity, of being a stranger in a strange land was oppressive, and perhaps even – absurdly considering the benign circumstances – threatening.
As I rose to leave, and took an affectionate good-bye from Miss Warwick, I thought, "Wow, this is what it’s like to be separate, not among your own, adrift culturally, and wary."
I felt instantly and do today that this was one of the major moments in my life. This totally innocuous meeting, safe in every way, challenged all I’d thought I was as a person. (So liberal, so relaxed!) If I could feel this way as a white person interviewing a black celebrity in a luxurious hotel suite – with drinks and a snack – what did the average black person feel when confronted by an all-white, un-glamorous "real life" situation? Every white person should have what I now refer to as "The Dionne Warwick Moment."
Believe me, you’d understand just a little bit more.
Read more about: Barack Obama, Dionne Warwick, Henry Louis Gates, Mr. Wow, News, Racism, Sgt. Crowley
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wOw Features
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Dear Margo: When Dad/Gramps Just Ain't Interested
118 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment
I felt a twinge once when I opened my home to a Black minor league basball player for a summer in my area. The time was great and my kids loved him.
The following summer he came back and asked to stay again of course we were thrilled and a few days after his arrival I took a call from a friend . I called down the hall for to him to pick up the line halfway through the house when I returned I picked up the receiver to make sure he had picked up to hear his friend say "are you staying with the WHITE family again before dropping the received in the cradle????"
It made me feel very sad..and I wondered what he said about us behind our backs and felt true hurt and true sadness at what we possibly did to make his friend say something like that.
I never said anything to him or changed my hospitality and his behavior never indicated further that he was unhappy. \
To this day I feel I experienced what he ( an many others in the Black community) may feel more frequently but reverse descrimination does not fix it!
My mother always taught me that two wrongs do not make a right?
I believe in MLK’s plea for the day when people are NOT judged by the color of their skin…some of ALL ethnicities cannot seem to grasp that.
S.J. Morgan
Let me attempt to interpret what happened if I may. The person who stayed with your family probably had a great time and sincerely likes your family. I have no doubt when he’s away from your family he is NOT SAYING ANYTHING NEGATIVE! … He is probably telling his friends about what a GREAT FAMILY he visited! He asked to return and I tend to believe because he sincerely wanted to spend more time with your family.
When he visited with you the first time he probably returned home and shared his experiences with his friends. His friend out of natural curiosity probably asked questions and your guest probably told him he spent time with a white family and man they’re really Cool! … Sometimes when people have not had certain experiences they have no frame of reference or understanding how persons of differing ethnicity’s and socioeconomic backgrounds can find common ground and build friendships.
Like you said you nor your family did anything that would’ve have made this person unhappy. Why would you jump to an erroneous conclusion and assume this person was saying unflattering things behind your back? This is truly SAD!
You blew it out of proportion because you lack knowledge of all the cultural nuances at play. You jumped to the wrong conclusion(Negative). This was Not a case of discrimination! … What an Absurd analysis of the situation!
There might even be the slightest chance that this friend on the phone feels a little threatened and jealous. Perhaps, he feels he might lose his friend to your family.
I like to think people are better than your conclusion.
LC… my feelings were hurt that he might even think we were not sincere. But tell me what you would have thought had the roles been reversed and a white guests friend would have said about living with "That Black family??? He had no idea I overheard the comment..but It did sting when it appeared that I was being judged by my color my self.
You may think it absurd…but I was only trying to give a honest assessment of how feelings go both way. Why in the world would he feel threatened by his friend staying with our family that he would "lose him"???
S.J. Morgan
You are entitled to your feelings. Personally, I would not be insulted nor hurt. I’d get to the bottom of things by having a discussion. It all depends on the tone and the intent. You did not hear the entire conversation and perhaps you’re taking things out of context. Remember, it was his friend who made the comment not him!
If he proves to be a two face liar then you are better not having him in your life. It seems he may be missing out on having some caring friends.
S.J. Morgan sometimes friends do not like sharing. It’s like two best girlfriends on the playground and a third party joins, Sometimes one friend begins to feel jealous if the old friend starts spending time away from the old relationship.
I’m only trying to offer the most positive scenarios. I think a conversation with your friend could have resolved any and all issues. Again, I beleive this person likes you and your family.Your friend probably doesn’t even know how you feel. If the relationship means anything at all give him a call. Is this person a child/teen?
I for one, am sick to death of having the whites blamed for the mindset of many blacks. There are those that still hold on to the blame game and the latest Obama fiasco is good example of how easily it is used. There is PLENTY of negative things said.
My conclusions are made from intimate contact and acceptance within the black community. I have been privy to many conversations and find that even within the black community, there exists a prejudice about color. My very close friend was not "light enough" for her boyfriends family. They insisted that he break up with her, her color too dark. She was heart broken to say the least.
So to say that it is all about whites not understanding is BS. Have a look a the letter below:
While attending a black fraternity party, I recently learned it’s a bad idea to profess one’s affinity for Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity.
Worse, according to current polls, it appears I may be the only black 22 year old in America who will be voting for Sen. John McCain.
It’s not that I was unaware that being a black conservative Republican puts me in the ultimate “minority.” After all, Shelby Steele’s classic article “ The Loneliness of the Black Conservative” has become an article of faith that I’ve all but committed to memory.
But I guess I had made the mistake of buying into all that liberal yammering about being “open minded” and supporting “diversity” that I’d deluded myself into believing that a civil, discussion about the herd-like ideological mentality of so many of my contemporaries suffer from was possible.
Boy, was I wrong. Big time!
My official “Negro” card got stripped away. I instantly lost my “blackness.” And now, consequently, I now am greeted with this: “Hey, y’all, here comes The Black Republican.”
And that’s when I think to myself, Hmmm…so this is how it feels to be an "Uncle Tom."
Still, being labeled “The Black Republican” is undoubtedly a promotion from: "Hey, why are you dressed so nice? You got a job interview or something?" Or, worse, “Man, why are you talking like that? You sound white? Who do you think you are? A conservative Kanye West?”
But my path to ideological emancipation began where all the most important things always begin—with my father and mother. Growing up, my Army drill sergeant father was a firm believer in tough love. My parents instilled in us Christian values. But I believe that first part—having an involved mother and father—was critical. With 70% of all black babies being born out-of-wedlock, it’s no wonder black poverty remains entrenched, welfare has become a way of life, and that many of my fellow young black male counterparts choose gangsta life over college.
But it wasn’t until college that I realized I had been ensnared in what John McWhorter calls the “Cult of Victimology.” One of my professor’s pointed me toward a world of literature I’d never been introduced to: Thomas Sowell, John McWhorter, Shelby Steele, Star Parker, Angela McGlowan, Larry Elder, Walter Williams—they obliterated the Leftist foolishness that floods my community.
It was then that my eyes were opened to the truth, a truth that my father was willing to give his life for, a truth that hundreds of thousands of American soldiers have paid the ultimate price to pass on to future generations. And that truth is this: America remains the greatest country that God gave to man.
Yes, I’m a member of the Anti-Slavery Party, the party responsible for: the 13th (abolished slavery), 14th (gave former slaves full citizenship rights), the 15th Amendment (gave slaves voting rights), the Civil Rights Act of 1871(protecting southern blacks from the Ku Klux Klan), the Reconstruction Acts, and the 1866, 1875, 1957, 1960, and 1964 Civil Rights Acts.
And no, my brothers and sisters, yesterday’s southern Democrats are NOT today’s Republicans! If so, former Klansman, Sen. Robert Byrd—the highest ranking senate Democrat and President Pro-Tempore of the Senate—apparently didn’t get the memo and forgot to switch parties.
But it’s more than just the history. I’m proud to stand for self-empowerment, personal responsibility, strong family values, small government, low taxes, free markets, a strong military, and individual achievement etc.
And don’t even get me started on which side stands up for the precious 1.4 million unborn children (32% of whom are black), who will be casualties in the war inside the womb. When I see these so-called “black leaders” bashing conservatives for “racist policies,” I wonder how they justify cheering on the political team who proudly defends the annihilation of 13 million black children since 1973.
And conservatives don’t care about black people? I don’t think so!
No, I think I’ll ride with the team who says enough with the welfare cancer that has destroyed people’s innate desire to achieve. Yes, I’ll ride with the folks who respect me enough to consider me their equal and not insult me with Affirmative Action racism. Yeah, I’ll ride with the gang who would rather create effective policies than emotional “feel good” symbolism that robs individuals of their desire to aspire.
So while it may take a little getting used to walking into college parties where I’m known as “The Black Republican,” I now realize I am a newly inducted member of a rich tradition of ideologically emancipated black conservatives. And guess what? I’m more than cool with that. I’m proud, actually.
“The conservative Kanye West”?
Hmmm….
Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?
Jerome Hudson is a sophomore at Tallahassee Community College with plans to transfer to Florida A&M University in the fall.
So imagine me, a member of various organizations that largely consist of young black Americans, most of whom are womb to the tomb Democrats and liberals, speaking openly about the many opportunities and blessings we enjoy in our great nation and refuting Michelle Obama’s supposition that America is a “downright mean place..”
Can you say…..social suicide?
"So Jerome,” the partygoers asked, “you’re REALLY a Republican?!"
Duh!
Of course I’m a Republican! And your great grandparents were too!
Well Karen…you would be terribly disappointed. I have been tha only non-black on many occasions in large communities and events.
So save it.
Victoria , did you expect anything less from the girl from Texas?? She is not interested in sharing thoughts but prefers to throw punches.
People on this thread have for the most part been speaking from their experience and hearts and I am impressed by the level of civility. This is a teaching moment for all. I happen to think that while racism is alive and well, the police officer in this case was pissed off at Gate’s reaction and wanted to teach him a lesson. I think he would have done the same to a white guy. However I understand Gate’s thinking it had to do with race. Cops don’t like anyone questioning them, even when the evidence is obvious, pointing it out to them will only get you in trouble.
macwoof woof
Great Post thank you for your insight!
Macwoof…I have spent years living on the EAST coast and the WEST coast. Texas has nothing to do with my opinions, but my life experiences do.
I have spent time with many black Americans, in many different situations.
You obviously missed the entire point with this situation. Gates did NOT want to produce ID. Do you not get that one?
Gate the "intelligent" and "esteemed" professor told the officer that he "would step outside with his mama".
My….how classy and "intelligent" that was.
Gates is a racist idiot. And Obama attempted to skew the facts, but got caught.
Lies, something that the Obama administration is so comfortable with.
Victoria J
Brillant responses to KIT! … Thank you! :o)