"What’s it all about, Alfie?"  Somehow as Dionne Warwick sang it long ago, it seemed to me to be a symbol in itself for the meaning of life.  Many of us are so strong and capable that something within tells us that YES, we can do anything.  We can be what we want to be.  And darn it! we prove it.  We find that we truly can be "the cream". 

But what I discovered is that all the stress symbols:  eating, headaches, grinding teeth - well, you know them are actually those bright flashes of light, those red warning signals that say STOP.  . if we could only slow down enough to heed them.  There finally comes a time that a light comes on in our heads, saying that we have shown the world, we have proved ourselves, we have succeeded.  And we find that it isn’t just getting to the stop, it is staying at the top that truly takes its toll.  Too much responsibility, too much strain … and don’t we begin to notice that we are not getting the pats on the back as much as having blame placed for every little thing.  That’s a load in itself.

The question then becomes:  Yes, I can rule the world - my world and yes, I proved it, but really truly is it worth the stress and strain.  I have been there … with one foot out in space.  Am I noticing that I have taken too much on at the cost of suddenly actually looking older, God forbid?  Are my friends and family getting what is left over - which is usually not much??? 

And then I thought:  just what am I going to be left with when life finally winds down when I am 70, or 80 (or as Liz Smith will say: "110").  I don’t think we have to stop cold in our tracks, but often we must change into a more comfortable direction.  When I came to my senses and thought this out, I realized that there are other jobs, other challenges that we find can give the feeling of exhilaration, the praise of work done well, but without that high stress that being highly visible in the world does.  I have been there, done that - and that was then.  Now?  I have jobs that please me, make me happy and yes, sometimes on a great big "high".  I am smiling a whole lot more.  My friends get a chance to see the "real me" in every way and the big S (STRESS) has dropped to the small "s" - that stress that is just a part of everyone’s roller coaster of life.  I feel great - well, like a large boulder fell off my shoulders.  My personal large stone I have privately named - as it was with me for so long - and I call it "RESPONSIBILITIES" (BIG letters because they grow and become enormous). 

What’s it all about?  For me, not that.  And I am betting that, like all of us that had all the side effects of high stress, we finally see sunlight, invisible because all that time we had our noses to the grindstone.  I bet, I bet, I bet.