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Entertainment | 06/30/2009 6:00 am

No Weeping From Mr. wOw on Michael Jackson

By Mr. wOw
Elvis Presley was an irresponsible drug addict. Marilyn Monroe was an irresponsible drug addict. Judy Garland … Billie Holiday … Janis Joplin … Jimi Hendrix … Jim Morrison … John Belushi. All died of their excesses and their excesses are always cited within the first paragraph of any article written about these brilliant train wrecks.

Mr. wOw mentions this because I see our favorite rabble rousers – the "Rev." Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson – are gearing up to condemn all mentions of Michael Jackson’s fabled bad habits as somehow being criticism exclusive only to Michael. Perhaps even racist in nature. Bull crap.

Jackson was a great big talent and a great big substance abuser and general all-around nutcase. Just like Elvis, Judy, Marilyn, etc.

Jackson’s genius and accomplishments will be remembered forever; and that genius will take precedence over anything else – just as his famous compatriots in unnecessary early death are remembered: talent first, foibles next.

But so too will live those pedophilia charges, his drug-taking, his surgeries, his deliberately bizarre antics. Not to mention Michael’s laughably giant ego (ineptly cloaked by phony humility) and his whispery poor pitiful-me pose. Mr. wOw always had just three words for Michael Jackson: Get. Over. It. Oh, and two more: Get. Therapy. I wonder if his "dear friend" Elizabeth Taylor ever suggested that.

This unique American tragedy made his own extravagant prison and wallowed in infantile excuses. He had absolutely no common sense. None. Michael deserves every single tribute paid to him as an artist. And deserves every slam as an artist who destroyed himself because he "wanted the childhood he never had." Who the hell has the childhood they "want"? Mr. wOw sure didn’t. Did you?

(How about a bit of sympathy for the boys in those child molestation cases?! Oh, they got money for their trauma? Michael was similarly compensated for his unhappy childhood, and you see what money did for him.)

As for Michael’s "shocked, shocked" family – every one of whom became rich and/or famous off his back – whenever one of them speaks, I want to roll my eyes. His father, Joe Jackson … I guess I’ll bow to some sensitivity and not attack a grieving father. Though I sure want to put quotes around grieving. As for the kids, I think they’d be best off with Janet, though I don’t figure her as a perfect model of stability, but likely the best of them.

I know this is very harsh – but don’t let Mr. wOw’s cynicism stop you. Go ahead and weep over Michael. So few did while he lived.

Now … can the front pages get back to health care, North Korea, Iraq and Iran?

144 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Washington  Cube
Yanno, Kelly (and call me Cubie,) I think we’ve opened up a whole new vein here for wOw to explore:  "Why you never pull a pig’s tail."  "Why you stay away from the bull."  "Being Chased by a Rooster 101."  "Why mules are indeed stubborn…and other mysteries."  "Hay and Snakes 101."  Do you see the potential?  At least it would be educational and not staring down that obscene white hearse on the interstate heading to Neverland.  Has that family lost it’s frigging mind?  Anyone?  Did Cinderella die and someone didn’t tell us?
By Washington Cube on 07/01/2009 12:02 pm
Andrea Brandon

I’ve got a story about me and a bull in my front yard.

Yep - lots of stories. Give me one of those sassy drinks and I’m sure I’ll come up with more!

By Andrea Brandon on 07/01/2009 5:02 pm
Washington  Cube
Andrea:  That list I typed out for Kelly was based on experience.  I was chased by hogs and roosters as a child on my grandmother’s farm.  Not pleasant.  And snakes do like to hide in hay in the barn.  It’s warm.  I was smart enough to stay away from the bull.  Did get licked by cows.  Found out that mules don’t always do what you want.  I’m sure we could all come up with good stories about animal behavior.  Personally, I would love to hear about a bull in your front yard.
By Washington Cube on 07/01/2009 7:43 pm
Andrea Brandon

Cubie,

I’m sure my story is sooooo tame compared to yours.

I was 5 and the big yellow school bus dropped us  off in front of our houses. The houses were on fairly large pieces of property so I guess it was a walk of maybe 150’ to the front door. Half way between me and the house was a bull in our yard. I froze and cried and yelled for my mom. She came out laughing. It wasn’t a bull at all - it was a cow our neighbors got. [Dumb city slicker, me.]

Now, a story from you…..but not one about snakes, please.

By Andrea Brandon on 07/01/2009 7:49 pm
Washington  Cube

Andrea:

An animal story?  Let’s see….hmmm.  And by the way, I liked your bull story.  I was born and raised in a city, as well.  My maternal grandmother lived on land that had been in our family since 1733 and when I say…waaaay back away from the world, I mean….isolation.  My mother told me that growing up they never wanted for anything since they butchered their own meat, and they had hogs, chickens, cows, etc. but they also grew their own grains and had a mill nearby.  Fruit trees and shrubs.  You get the drift.  She said the only thing they bought were coffee and sugar.  I have memories of my grandmother churning butter, and we aren’t talking "Little House on the Prairie" time, folks.  I was a city kid, getting up at dawn to help my grandmother milk cows, I took them to pasture and brought them back, fed the free range chickens…one woman was recently rapsodizing about free range chickens, and I told her, "Free range means walking through poop."  As for snakes: short and sweet.  They do get into the hay for warmth, so if we played in the barn, we were warned away from that…there was also a sawmill deeper in the land, huge mountains of sawdust..another snake fav.  So I picked upped the do’s and don’t pretty early on.  I was chased by a rooster, gathering eggs, and when you are tiny, that’s a purdy skeery thing.

So let me tell you a city girl story.  We’ve had a ton of rain on the East Coast this summer.  A ton.  This means the buggies want to come in, hang out: ac and  watch cable.  Yesterday I was sitting here with a pile of books I wanted to post for sale on Amazon.  I looked down and there was this huge Camelback cricket (Google it…they are HUGE) down there….hopping up and down a little bit like he was saying, "Whew…those stairs just about KILLED me, but HIHIHI…let’s hangout!"   Only I had picked up a book and while he was in the middle of  "…hango…" I dropped a book on him.  Then I wiped it off with some paper towel, put in the bar code and posted it "used,  like new."

 

By Washington Cube on 07/01/2009 8:51 pm
Andrea Brandon

Cubie,

You’re hilarious. Hangout, my tush.  Are those critters bigger than the cockroaches in Texas? I about died when I saw one. It frightened my poor dogs who ran for cover.

I have never been on a farm. Kelly has a bunch of critters and it sounds heavenly. As long as the bugs and snakes aren’t there.

Are you a DAR?

By Andrea Brandon on 07/01/2009 9:49 pm
Washington  Cube

I’ve been in Constitution Hall many times which is DAR headquarters, but the family never joined. I’ve half-assed thought of joining at times, but  I’ll cite Groucho Marx on "clubs" on that one. 

Didn’t Kelly’s setup sound nice?  Right peaceful.  I’m sure she’d be telling us otherwise.

They are really large crickets and rather nasty looking. This weird lumpy brown-gray.  Not like their smaller black-brown brethen.  I hated taking him out since he was watching me so happy with that little bounce of his, and I swear he seemed proud at his getting to the second floor success, but I made my decision and took three steps back from Gandhihood loss.

And trust me, going to that farm was culture shock.   All of my being was centered on urban survival, and if you live in a large city, you know the drill on those rules.

By Washington Cube on 07/02/2009 3:50 am
Andrea Brandon

Cubie,

You’re too funny.

By Andrea Brandon on 07/02/2009 12:07 pm
Kelly In Texas

"Cubie" it is then!

Oh ya…"Never stand behind a coughing cow"…"Don’t squat with your spurs on"…and (ta-da) "You gotta be smarter than the mule"!!

Honestly…that is what is so wrong, really…with so many Americans…no common sense. It sounds funny, these animals stories…but to deal with them takes some very real abilities to think and observe.

Everytime some city-slicker academcia type comes here for a visit, they leave with something called "respect". They sure didn’t arrive with it…but by the time that mother nature was done…they were humbled and had to admit that there was more more to life than what they had read about. It never fails, ever. Not once.

Cinderella? Oh my…MJ would be sooooo delighted…the great outfit complete with 7 little men to adore him….She had just one shoe….and he had just one glove!

 

By Kelly In Texas on 07/02/2009 4:54 pm
Andrea Brandon

Cubie,

But it looks so tame - like it’s a pink lemoade with a cherry in it.

[I remember a night in Dallas when some friends told me I’d love the "Texas Tea."  And I did - I had four of them. They had to peel me off the walls. It didn’t curl my toes……..it curled my teeth.]

By Andrea Brandon on 07/01/2009 7:58 pm
Washington  Cube
hahahaha,  Curled teeth.  I know those drinks.  They are so….refreshing.  The next thing you know you are with are playing opposite Ray Milland in Lost Weekend.
By Washington Cube on 07/01/2009 8:54 pm
Andrea Brandon
Yes, Cubie, Lost Weekend - or praying to the porcelain god. I’m a lightweight when it comes to this stuff…….and always the designated driver.  [Those Texas Teas stick to the gut.]
By Andrea Brandon on 07/01/2009 9:43 pm
phyllis Doyle Pepe
Would this be a close cousin to Gruella De vil, that looney lady who wanted to turn all those cuddly canines into fur coats? [in the film, "One hundred Dalmatians]. Congratulations on your purging post and Dear Mr. Wow––I think I love you. 
By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 07/01/2009 1:03 pm
Washington  Cube
 Phyllis:  When Mr. wOw and Margo write, you can really hear "their" voice, and it’s honest.  They may "check" at times, but I find those two, more than any other, just really lay it out there, and I, for one, truly enjoy it.  Say what you feel, people. 
By Washington Cube on 07/01/2009 7:58 pm
Patricia Sprofera
Washington Cube - I, too, have taken the sequined gloves off, and am enjoying my cocktail of choice: Absolute Lemonade. Thanks for your great posts.  Patty
By Patricia Sprofera on 07/01/2009 5:40 pm