If you live out of New York, don’t bother to read this. It’s just a referendum on the insane list of things happening in Gotham for the end of April and the beginning of May.

Thursday, April 30: The National Dance Institute holds its 32nd annual at the Nokia Theater  in Times Square. Yoko Ono is being honored and much else of note goes on. The names are big. Call (800) 807-1787.

And more on Thursday, April  30: Two major theater openings on the same night (how did that happen?): “Waiting for Godot” bows at Studio 54 Theater; “9 to 5,” the Dolly Parton musical based on the famous movie, opens at the Marriott Marquis.

Sunday, May 3: “The Little Drummer Boy" and "Rocky’s First Christmas,” with books and lyrics by Anne Berlin, music by Andy Cohen and directed by Valentina Fratti. At TADA! Theater, 15 West 128th Street. Tickets $10. Visit productions.eatheatre.org. Both Anne and Valentina are protégées and friends of mine and I think they are very talented. And funny.

Monday, May 4: “Broadway at the Boathouse” in Central Park with drinks, dinner and a silent auction  honoring Tony Winner Dick Latessa and Emily Nash, creative alternative artistic director.

Christine Ebersole and Keith Carradine will perform. None other than my birthday girl pal Cady Huffman, who you loved as the “office girl” in “The
Producers,” urges us to come to this. “A terrific organization!” Call (512) 627-7216.

Tuesday, May 5: Bunny Williams and John Rosselli, who run the great shop Treillage at 418 East 75 Street, are showing off some of their favorite artists six to eight o’clock. Call (212) 535-2288.

Also May 5: A panel of the rich and famous will roast the owners of the Four Seasons restaurant, the notable Julian Niccolini and Alex von Bidder, at seven o’clock PM. Chosen “roasters” are Pete Peterson, Daniel Boulud, Cesare Casella, Edgar M. Bronfman, Gael Greene, Bob Grimes, Sirio Maccioni, Donald Marron, Michael Mondavi, Drew Nieporent, William O’Shaughnessy, Peggy Siegal, Martha Stewart, Jonathan Tisch and Liz Smith.

Thursday, May 7: That maverick beauty Georgette Mosbacher will host a book party in her magnificent Fifth Avenue apartment for Michael Gross, who has written a book, Rogues’ Gallery: The Secret History of the Moguls and the Money that Made the Metropolitan Museum. If you want to be invited you have to call Caroline Sill at Broadway Books and convince her you are worthy.

This book, like all of Michael’s works, will make a lot of rich and prominent people very unhappy.

Also on May 7: The Carlyle Hotel unveils a portrait of the late Bobby Short by painter Alexander Talbot Rice in the hotel’s Empire Suite from six to eight o’clock. 

Sunday, May 10: HBO kicks off its new documentary series with a film produced by Sheila Nevins and Maria Shriver. It’s called “The Alzheimer’s Project.”  There are groundbreaking discoveries in this series and HBO is so proud of itself.

Monday, May 11: The Literacy Partners gala black-tie readings by famous authors and a dinner dance at Lincoln Center. Marie Brenner, Barbara Walters, Christopher Buckley and David Wroblewski will entertain us from their books. Then we’ll all eat and dance and make merry.

And a lot of adult New Yorkers who can’t read or write at the fifth-grade level will find their lives changed by our tutors and dedication and, yes, our money. Call (914) 579-1000. 

Alson on May 11: Brooke Shields and Alec Baldwin will be at the Pierre for the Mona Mansell Award dinner to honor Dr. Peter Steinglass. Call (212) 838-0044. 

Likewise on May 11: Frank Bennack of Hearst and Lincoln Center’s Reynold Levy ask you to celebrate LC’s 50th anniversary at a continental breakfast for distinguished artists at Alice Tully Hall. Call (212) 875-5316.