Margo Howard | 10/06/2009 10:45 am
A Stupid Human Trick, by Margo Howard
Editor’s Note: A longtime journalist, Margo Howard went into the
family business (her mother was the fabled Ann Landers) in the 1990s as
Dear Prudence. Her broad experience and understanding of human nature
provide answers for the troubled — and entertainment for everyone else. Margo’s advice column, Dear Margo, appears twice a week — on Thursdays and Fridays — on wowOwow.com.
I know, as I write this, it ain’t gonna win me any friends with some women (OK, feminists) but I honestly feel sorry for David Letterman. I am sympathetic to his situation, which is not to say that I don’t ache for his wife, as well. Can any of us really imagine what it’s like to be such a public person, and on television, at that, having to deal with this stuff so publicly? He did what many married men do: dallied with women from work. I mean, think about it: where would a guy who is locked up with writers all day and taping a show at night meet any women who were not in his workplace? At that deli down the street?
I do not know why people are in such a lather about this. Apparently when Ms. Burkitt was involved with the boss he was unmarried. Although certainly committed to Regina (recently Mrs. Letterman – after God knows how many years together) and overjoyed when they had a child – looking at his history makes this less than a big surprise. Rumor has it that the man had such an unpleasant first marriage and divorce that he decided one was enough. He was in his late 50s when he remarried. In his head I’m guessing he thought single, even when he did marry … which I suspect finally happened so the little boy would have married parents. Fooling around would not be unheard of in show business. Hell, in any business.
Many men are caught out in extramarital and workplace affairs, but their lives aren’t such that they have to inform to millions of people. And apparently keeping the secret wasn’t worth two million bucks to him. There’s a lot of talk in the public prints and of course the blogosphere about workplace harassment, in all its iterations. This is just me guessing, but my hunch is that not one woman he’s done the horizontal mambo with ever felt pressured. (Just as an aside, both I and my daughter would have volunteered. She happens to be 27 years younger than I am, and yet we both find him appealing and smart. Dark in nature, perhaps, but appealing.)
The workplace/HR issues seem to me a red herring. How far could someone rise in that organization from personal affection anyway? He doesn’t have a co-host, and Paul Shaffer seems pretty well-entrenched. Do please note: He never fired anyone when it was over. I also give him props that Ms. Burkitt was an average-looking young woman. He did not go on the hunt (or a hiring spree) with starlet types in mind. I am aware that my stance might seem odd coming from someone whose day job is being an advice columnist, but I am pragmatic and realistic. I think all the hoopla is so much noise, given what we know of Letterman and the way his office is run. Not that he asked, but when he’s through doing penance at home I think a trip to the jewelry store would be in order. So for what it’s worth, Dave, all the dames out there are not steamed at you. While Betty Friedan may be rolling over in her grave, some of us here like you just as much as we did before Assistant Gate.
I know, as I write this, it ain’t gonna win me any friends with some women (OK, feminists) but I honestly feel sorry for David Letterman. I am sympathetic to his situation, which is not to say that I don’t ache for his wife, as well. Can any of us really imagine what it’s like to be such a public person, and on television, at that, having to deal with this stuff so publicly? He did what many married men do: dallied with women from work. I mean, think about it: where would a guy who is locked up with writers all day and taping a show at night meet any women who were not in his workplace? At that deli down the street?
I do not know why people are in such a lather about this. Apparently when Ms. Burkitt was involved with the boss he was unmarried. Although certainly committed to Regina (recently Mrs. Letterman – after God knows how many years together) and overjoyed when they had a child – looking at his history makes this less than a big surprise. Rumor has it that the man had such an unpleasant first marriage and divorce that he decided one was enough. He was in his late 50s when he remarried. In his head I’m guessing he thought single, even when he did marry … which I suspect finally happened so the little boy would have married parents. Fooling around would not be unheard of in show business. Hell, in any business.
Many men are caught out in extramarital and workplace affairs, but their lives aren’t such that they have to inform to millions of people. And apparently keeping the secret wasn’t worth two million bucks to him. There’s a lot of talk in the public prints and of course the blogosphere about workplace harassment, in all its iterations. This is just me guessing, but my hunch is that not one woman he’s done the horizontal mambo with ever felt pressured. (Just as an aside, both I and my daughter would have volunteered. She happens to be 27 years younger than I am, and yet we both find him appealing and smart. Dark in nature, perhaps, but appealing.)
The workplace/HR issues seem to me a red herring. How far could someone rise in that organization from personal affection anyway? He doesn’t have a co-host, and Paul Shaffer seems pretty well-entrenched. Do please note: He never fired anyone when it was over. I also give him props that Ms. Burkitt was an average-looking young woman. He did not go on the hunt (or a hiring spree) with starlet types in mind. I am aware that my stance might seem odd coming from someone whose day job is being an advice columnist, but I am pragmatic and realistic. I think all the hoopla is so much noise, given what we know of Letterman and the way his office is run. Not that he asked, but when he’s through doing penance at home I think a trip to the jewelry store would be in order. So for what it’s worth, Dave, all the dames out there are not steamed at you. While Betty Friedan may be rolling over in her grave, some of us here like you just as much as we did before Assistant Gate.
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421 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment
You can’t say that they were out to break up his relationship. Maybe they just wanted to be with him. His longtime girlfriend didn’t know who she was with? Not so sure about that, women usually know who they’re with on one level or another.
And it sounds as though you’re blaming the woman for trying to destroy your marriage. Guess what—nobody made your husband have sex with someone else. Only you or your husband can destroy your marriage, because it’s a choice to cheat. An outside person with nothing to lose is just that. Not sure what you think you "won," but good luck.
Whew! Now hold on, Red, and take a deep breath. I’m mystified about this conclusion of yours…
!..because every one of the skanks he cheated with knew he was in a committed relationship…
… and you know this how? You somehow know that everyone on his staff knew about his personal relationships, his personal agenda/life with his girlfriend at the time, ( Regina) not yet his wife? How is that? What I don’t understand is this. How did you decide these professional women were " skanks"? You are assuming all women are like those your husband fell for, the kind most intelligent men can spot a mile away and avoid like the plague.
It appears Letterman enjoyed the company of a couple ( maybe more) of willing, adult women during his many single years. It also appears his now wife Regina held out, hoping she would be # 1. She did and she is. He has admitted to that… but only since his marriage. Prior to that, we did not hear her name. Prior to that, he was a single man by choice. Single.
How do you know he cheated? Many people enjoy open relationships.
In any case, you’re blaming the wrong person. If someone chooses to cheat, it’s not the fault of the person they choose to cheat with.
Oh my…how this thread has just chugged along since yesterday. I came back (here) to post a little update…and little validation on my part.
What strange times we live in when my humble postings jibe perfectly with Maureen Dowd (in the her column in today’s NYTimes) and Gloria Allred (in her op ed on the web…released to anyone who will run it).
Geesh…I feel so diverse.
MQ-C
Any woman that would sell their trust and personal self esteem for a chunk of twinkling rock is one sick chic.
___________________________
Worked for Elizabeth Taylor. Again, not our place to decide what should or should not be for someone else.
Again, not our place to decide what should or should not be for someone else.
_____________
Although of course we all do. And certainly did with the Burtons.
Oh, my. Why does every thread turn into a discussion about religion or politics? Its true what happens between two people is none of our business. I love the posts where someone says they are a Christian and are offended by his behavior or the jokes about his behavior. I though if you were a Christian you didn’t judge others morals or throw stones? Just live your life, do your own thing, don’t worry about other people and their affairs. Clearly no one read Margo’s article and so many took it literally. No I’m not a Republican, Democrat, Christian, Buddhist or whatever, just reading the article and thinking why do I care what Letterman does? And being offended about jokes about this is just silly, if you can’t laugh at a joke or the situation clearly you need to take a step back and learn how to enjoy life. No need to reply to this post, frankly its just an observation (Also no need to correct my spelling or grammar, because that would just show how much time you have on your hands)
I am lost somewhere in this discussion - where is the sexual harassment in this? Sounds more like a man who couldn’t keep his pants zipped at the office and women who accomodated him. Why assume he enjoyed the power. Maybe he just enjoyed the *gasp* sex. Some people do manage to move beyond the agendas and just enjoy the flings.
I’m also lost with regard to his "cheating on his wife" and I don’t see where he did. He seemed to have been carrying on before he got married so his wife knew because she was just "one of the women" during this period. If I am reading all of this, now that I am finally reading all of it, correctly. I suppose we all need to really read before we speak.
I would imagine his wife would have preferred he kept it private apart from whatever was released to the media. But who knows. Again, it’s not our place. Even though we think it is. I used the example of the Burtons previously simply because they were constantly "scandal-ridden" and of course he was a notorious cheater. In the eyes of the observer, it must have been a terrible marriage. All that mattered was what was in their eyes. And she knew. How could she not know? He was cheating on his wife with her in the beginning. He just went a little overboard at the smorgasbord so to speak. But then so did she. He was running off to Bulgari from day one. Nothing heals a wounded ego and a broken heart like a nice big diamond. It worked for them until suddenly it didn’t work for them.
It all seems much ado about nothing where the Lettermans are concerned. Which I think is what Margo was trying to convey.