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Margo Howard | 10/06/2009 10:45 am

A Stupid Human Trick, by Margo Howard

Margo Howard
Editor’s Note: A longtime journalist, Margo Howard went into the family business (her mother was the fabled Ann Landers) in the 1990s as Dear Prudence. Her broad experience and understanding of human nature provide answers for the troubled — and entertainment for everyone else. Margo’s advice column, Dear Margo, appears twice a week — on Thursdays and Fridays — on wowOwow.com.

I know, as I write this, it ain’t gonna win me any friends with some women (OK, feminists) but I honestly feel sorry for David Letterman. I am sympathetic to his situation, which is not to say that I don’t ache for his wife, as well. Can any of us really imagine what it’s like to be such a public person, and on television, at that, having to deal with this stuff so publicly? He did what many married men do: dallied with women from work. I mean, think about it: where would a guy who is locked up with writers all day and taping a show at night meet any women who were not in his workplace? At that deli down the street?

I do not know why people are in such a lather about this. Apparently when Ms. Burkitt was involved with the boss he was unmarried. Although certainly committed to Regina (recently Mrs. Letterman – after God knows how many years together) and overjoyed when they had a child – looking at his history makes this less than a big surprise. Rumor has it that the man had such an unpleasant first marriage and divorce that he decided one was enough. He was in his late 50s when he remarried. In his head I’m guessing he thought single, even when he did marry … which I suspect finally happened so the little boy would have married parents. Fooling around would not be unheard of in show business. Hell, in any business.

Many men are caught out in extramarital and workplace affairs, but their lives aren’t such that they have to inform to millions of people. And apparently keeping the secret wasn’t worth two million bucks to him. There’s a lot of talk in the public prints and of course the blogosphere about workplace harassment, in all its iterations. This is just me guessing, but my hunch is that not one woman he’s done the horizontal mambo with ever felt pressured. (Just as an aside, both I and my daughter would have volunteered. She happens to be 27 years younger than I am, and yet we both find him appealing and smart. Dark in nature, perhaps, but appealing.)

The workplace/HR issues seem to me a red herring. How far could someone rise in that organization from personal affection anyway? He doesn’t have a co-host, and Paul Shaffer seems pretty well-entrenched. Do please note: He never fired anyone when it was over. I also give him props that Ms. Burkitt was an average-looking young woman. He did not go on the hunt (or a hiring spree) with starlet types in mind. I am aware that my stance might seem odd coming from someone whose day job is being an advice columnist, but I am pragmatic and realistic. I think all the hoopla is so much noise, given what we know of Letterman and the way his office is run. Not that he asked, but when he’s through doing penance at home I think a trip to the jewelry store would be in order. So for what it’s worth, Dave, all the dames out there are not steamed at you. While Betty Friedan may be rolling over in her grave, some of us here like you just as much as we did before Assistant Gate.

421 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

j j
Oh thank you!  Just how I feel about it!
By j j on 10/08/2009 3:38 pm
j j

I am totally with Margo on this.  I don’t think I was clear in my first post.  I forgot how the comments post.

By j j on 10/08/2009 3:51 pm
elaine s

The New York Post reported today, Thursday, that Burkitt and Letterman were seen making out in August.  If true, that means the affair wasn’t over when he got married in March.

By elaine s on 10/08/2009 4:23 pm
starry Nite

David Letterman is an entertainer.  His wife is not naive and she worked in the industry and she knows David.  

David is rich, powerful and attractive.  It is funny how posters respond and I could tell based on their previous post how they respond to this article by Margo. 

Thanks Margo-  I needed the relief.

By starry Nite on 10/08/2009 5:13 pm
Suzanne Burk
It is a shame that commitment means nothing to men and women anymore.  When other women condone the behavior that is devasting to another woman, and actually feel sorry for the man who commited this act, it shows the lack of spirtual guidance in this country.  I know it goes on everyday, but unlike many, I refuse to condone it because it is now "the norm" or because they are famous or admiring or any other reason.  Where are the morals of people any more?  Where is the commitment of people in relationships and marriages. He is no victim of a crime; he is seeing the consequences of his sinful behavior come to light.  And now, so is his wife and family who did nothing to deserve it.  Adultery is sin; not office romance….and if you are in a commited relationship, it is adultery.  How can you glorify or excuse sin?  "All things dark will come to light."  Both parties need to be thinking of the people it hurts BEFORE the few moments of pleasure for themselves.  It is a totally selfish act!  Life is not about those few moments of pleasure for you that will leave lasting hurt for others.  Even if you are not religious, we as a society should still have morals.  But I don’t see that anymore.  It’s real sad too.
By Suzanne Burk on 10/08/2009 5:41 pm
Jean B

Margo,

Everything you said I’ve been saying since this story broke. Thank you for putting it out there. His wife knew long before any of us did, as did his mother. Ms. Burkitt was still working there, which tells me that the relationship ended on good terms. If her greedy husband had kept his mouth shut none of us would ever have known. David was apologizing this time around to his wife for her having to go through it all over again and in the public eye. The rest has already been worked out between the two of them, where it belongs. That’s not to say I think what he did was OK, it’s not, but it is up to Mr. & Mrs. Letterman as to whether they want to work things out, everyone else needs to butt out. I wish them the best of luck. The sooner the media drops this the better, their son is of the age where he will understand and it will have a negative effect on him. THAT is the worst side-effect of all of this.

By Jean B on 10/08/2009 8:08 pm
Linda Myers

Have to admire Margo your ability to ace lighting a coal and ingniting a firestorm of response! You have to be number one on WOW, of putting a subject out there and pulling the largest repsonses in a short amount of time!

As far as David, I would think before he ever said a word in public, the subject had been well discussed in private and done by mutual decision. He is to smart even in dumb moves, to do otherwise.

By Linda Myers on 10/09/2009 12:55 am
Sandy B

You know, I initially thought everyone took literally, and took offense to Margos statement about "volunteering" for the same reasons I did. Which was that I have run across too many women who say similar things and DO mean them literally, and I didn’t pause to think about what MARGO would likely mean. 

However, I have to revise that.  Margo explained it was not literal. So it would seem to me now, that most are just jumping on what they see as an opporturnity to slam her.

Anyway, people are not all the same in their experiences, how they word things, or their sense of humour.  I would not have worded things the way Margo did- but then if she were just like me- she’d be redundant. 

But I find it extremely unsettling the positive GLEE that seems to emanate from some posters at an opportunity to give a different meaning to Margo’s words (in spite of her clarifications), and then slam her for it. 

By Sandy B on 10/09/2009 6:52 am
Connie  L

I find it funny that so many (Margo included) think this "thread", "postings", etc., has started up such a "firestorm". It took only a few of us to disagree with what Margo said and so many reacted.

I’m with the 1%. Most of the 99% left are agreeing. But, man, you get a conservative, a Christian, a person with just morals … and you all fly off the handle!!

Well, the 1% of us must have struck a nerve with most of you.

BTW — I’d say at least 90% of you DO NOT KNOW WHAT SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS. Or at least you have changed the meaning.

I also can’t believe how loyal you all are to Margo, when she insulted your intelligence with her earlier comment.

Fine, you 99% … go have sex with whomever you want. It seems to be the only thing you think about.

By Connie L on 10/09/2009 10:58 am
Sandy B
Oh Wow-o-wow! And now YOU have managed to insult the intelligence, charactar AND morals of 99% of us.
By Sandy B on 10/09/2009 1:01 pm
devon mclaughlin
Sorry, Connie, but "Christian" and "just morals" are often mutually exclusive.
By devon mclaughlin on 10/09/2009 11:08 pm
Jean B
Connie L, It is not sexual harrassment when the feelings go both ways. It is only harrassment when it’s unwanted on one side. These so-called PC terms are way out of control.
By Jean B on 10/09/2009 2:16 pm
Patricia Partin

Marie, unfortunately I am too familiar with people like you. You use the term Christian to cover your behind. You expect God to follow your whims, your direction. I’ve got news for you. He has set out ten rules. You work on them and then we’ll talk. As it stands now, no matter if the man cheated once or as a daily habit; you have no right to judge him with limited facts. Remember the line about not judging lest you be judged? 

  And why are you closely following this story? Does it give you a vicarious thrill, a guilty pleasure? Look to your own life and not a boob tube personality for substance. I think this whole situation has you all hot and bothered. 

By Patricia Partin on 10/10/2009 1:08 am
V B

After Ted Kennedy died, there were a plethora of news documentaries about the Kennedys aired or rerun.  One mentioned that they KILLED a tell-all book. Its not the same as what happened here, as far as we know, but how exactly does that happen? Does money change hands?

How do you kill, a book, a screen play about your life? How is it done and is money involved?

I like to take things apart and look at them sideways. 

 

By V B on 10/11/2009 10:38 pm