Aren’t we assuming that we know the whole story in these cases? How do we know that the wife has been the faithful one?  Like someone said, you don’t know the reasons a spouse stays after infidelity.  It could have evened the playing field.  And about the gayness of Haggard, it’s not about his sexual orientation, it is what he does with it.  Gay people aren’t cheaters simply because they are gay.   Sex is sex, whether it is with a man or a woman.  Whether or not he is gay shouldn’t have anything to do with it.

In the discussion with Judith, Sheila and Julia one of them argued that in these kinds of marriages where the husband has been philandering, the wife has got to be aware of it. "When your husband has lost a tennis match you know it before he tells you from the way he comes in the door." So, they posit, you would know if your husband has been warming someone else’s body. I would tend to agree,  but this is a conjecture that might fit us, but not necessarily others who may not be as sensitive to the signs of infidelity. Christi’s comment about the wives perhaps having their own affairs which may stay hidden since they are not the ones in under discussion that are in the limelight except for Hillary and in her case where on earth would she find the time or the energy. It seems to me part of the problem is accessibility. When successful men have access to cream cakes and cherry tarts, it’s hard to resist. This, of course, does not speak well for the male gender, but when we realize there are thousands of men who remain faithful to their spouses–-be they male or female––then we can rest easy. All is not lost.

One more thing: When wives stay with their husbands after these dalliances, it could very well be that their love is strong enough to overcome and forgive, especially if children are involved. If the marriage survives she is the one who will have the control ––she is the strong one, the one who sits way up high on the moral rung, a comfortable place to be in, I would think.

Certainly it’s each woman’s decision for whatever reason. And let’s be honest: Some of these gals wouldn’t trade Mr. Ka-Ching! (with all the perks and luxuries and mega-$$) for the local barber (no matter how faithful and in love Mr. Barber might be). Of course I don’t doubt some cases is out of genuine love and devotedness.

Not knowing these people personally, why try and opine further?

My father cheated and had the gall to say to my mother as he moved out to be with his mistress "Why are you divorcing me I am coming back?"

Maybe they have heard the most stupid excuses from these men and believe it. One thing that might alert someone who gets married, look at the backround of how the parents have conducted themselves. My paternal grandfather was a serial cheater and married multiple times (maybe as much as 5). My paternal grandmother hated kids which makes wonder why she had 2 of them.

I believe that he cheated thru out my parent’s marriage. So I have a feeling that my father’s mistress was probably the last one that he had after he married her. But I can not be certain that he did not cheat on his second wife too.