Knowing that there would be serious emotional, personal, psychological, familial and financial consequences, I confronted my mother regarding a family lie which had affected my entire life. It took me 50 years, the fallout was even worse than I had anticipated. Notwithstanding the pain, I will never regret it. My siblings blamed me for destroying our "happy" family, my parents refused to speak to me for nearly a year.

Four years later, there has been much personal healing for everyone in the family. I am my mother’s hero because I put my life on hold to take care of her and my father during his final illness.

I had approached the conversation with love and a desire to live with a deeper truth. This intention eventually won out. I had definitely not anticipated a happy ending when gathering the courage to make this move, and am most grateful it arrived. 

I could say the bravest thing in my life was interning as a river raft guide on a class 4 in the spring when there was still snow.  Looking back on it I think stupidity and carelessness had more to do with it.    

So the bravest thing I ever did was speaking up for myself with overbearing family and holding my ground.   Unlike the river guiding, my family is a constant presence in my life.  LOL  

Imagine 6+ years of being told you are worthless, fat and ugly by someone who says they’re with you only because they know you’ll never find anyone better.  Imagine kicking them out (although this isn’t the bravest thing…)   Now imagine them showing up at your doorstep on a freezing cold Christmas Eve begging to be allowed back into your life.

He said "You were the best thing that ever happened to me.  I was so wrong, and I’m nothing unless you take me back.  I hurt you on purpose, but if you don’t take me back I’ll kill myself."

I said "Mississippi River is 1 mile west.  If you jump now, I’m sure you’ll die quickly."

I never saw him again.  The bravest thing was to stand up, love myself and learn that I am worth it all.

6 years ago I quit my job, packed up my belongings, closed my accounts, severed relationships and said goodbye to family and friends and moved to the East Coast to be with a man I had fallen in love with from a far. I did so even though I was blinded by a sea of red flags. They were all over the place. Each one telling me I was making a mistake, he was not the man for me, I didn’t really want to go but felt obligated, he was a liar and cheat….the red flags were every where. But I took a huge leap of faith and was brave. I went for it.

That was January 2003. I was back in Milwaukee July 5, 2003.

That life lesson led to one event after another after another, and now I am at a place in life where I feel more blessed than I ever have. Would I be where I am today if I had not been brave 6 years ago and weathered the storm I did? I say no. I’m living proof everything happens for a reason.