A Friend Stopped By | 10/11/2009 2:00 am

'Whatever' and More Communication Offenses That Annoy People, by Sybil Adelman Sage

By Sybil Adelman Sage

Editor’s note: Sybil Adelman Sage, one of the first women to break into television writing, is currently working on a fictitious memoir titled Diary of an Overachiever: Mensa Model Finishes First in NYC Marathon After Solving Economic Problems and Proposing Health Plan Praised by Democrats and Republicans Alike.

A recent poll taken by Marist College to determine which words are most annoying in conversation showed that the winner — well, actually, the loser — getting 47% of the vote was "whatever" (pronounced WHAT-ev-err). It beat out "you know," which irritates 25% of the respondents, "it is what it is" (11%), "anyway" (7%) and "at the end of the day" (2%). Conspicuously missing for me was "like," a longtime favored verbal tic in the younger set.

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I may be more prickly than the Marist respondents because my list is much longer. I’m agitated by the use of "frankly" and "quite frankly," typically inserted before the third clause of a construction and never introducing anything more revealing or shocking than what preceded it. Even more disturbing to me is the recurring use of "sort of," overwhelmingly the favorite of academics, pundits and writers on cable news networks as well as guests on NPR. "Sort of" seems to be the sophisticated version of "like," used to sound more informal with both, judging by their frequency of usage, being addictive.

At the risk of sounding Andy Rooneyish, what’s the deal with the nodding response, that repeated bobbing up and down of the head by the listener, followed by, "OK"?

Have these all been introduced by one person with a huge social network? And what causes them to go viral? I propose we fight the national debt by creating a category known as "communication offenses" and fining the guilty.

Read more about: English, Entertainment, Humor, Language, Lifestyle, Sybil Adelman Sage

100 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Obediah - I think I may say with confidence that "we are amused". Wonderful comment; your use of the hall was most enlightening and entertaining.

By Bonnie O on 10/11/2009 10:48 am

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"Have a nice day." The word nice is overused. The word nice is annoying. I don’t want to have a nice day. I want to have a good day, or a great day, or an astounding day.

By Didi Lorillard on 10/11/2009 8:25 am

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I don’t know if you play Contract Bridge or not but if you do, you’ll understand the wish of, "have a 4-No Trump Day!"

Missy Susan

By Missy-Susan Bauer on 10/11/2009 10:01 am

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"Employees are our greatest asset!".

Anyone who’s heard that phrase more than once learns to cringe and wait for the other shoe to drop. Either the department is being sold off or layoffs are coming which brings the ‘joy’ of being out of work or working 2 jobs for the pay of one. More than likely the function is being offshored.

This dribble blithely drips from managements mouths as they explain that ‘due to the economic environment’ there will be no raises this year while at the same time management will be receiving their bonuses ‘due to contractual obligations and benchmarks that have been met’. Right. Exactly how does management meet their benchmarks without support from their employees? The VP who voiced this at the last quarterly pep talk has become the poster child for ‘management gets bonuses while employees get squat’ and now no one wants to play with him. Let’s see how many benchmarks he chalks up this year.

By B Clark on 10/11/2009 9:07 am

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"It’s to die for" sends shivers through me whenever I hear it. I must say, though, that phrase might be on its way out since nowadays many are dying in their own special ways, and not for chocolate or shoes.

"I feel badly" when their fingers feel very well. It’s called fancifying language which is probably the reason the "I", "Me" problem is so rampant as Fults pointed out. The word me is somehow too pedestrian, so we get phrases like, "The whole business was overwhelming for my husband and I."

Didi: The wishes for having a day that is nice is better than a grouchy puss that sneers at you. It’s a form of a greeting like, "How you doin?" which is not meant for you to actually answer. I often thought how funny it would be to say to these total strangers who greet you this way to stop them and say, "You REALLY want to know how I am doing? Well, let me tell you…" In this day and age when we have so much anger and divisiveness in our culture, perhaps those four little words of courtesy are worth keeping alive.

By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 10/11/2009 9:13 am

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Dear Ms. Pepe,

Mea culpa, mea culpa.

I have, alas, uttered that phrase, "to die for." If it’s someone else’s creation, I’m usually talking about shoes. However, if it’s about food preparation and presentation, then it is about food. I know that my Pasta e Fagioli is, in fact, "to die for."

As you have written, I have reduced my utterings of it. You are so very correct that too many people are perishing at someone else’s hand. It is so very sad. e. g.: that woman, who perished in her own home and her daughter, who is still in Boston ‘s Children’s Hospital. That kind of attack makes me ill and to equate that to food or high heels is a sad state of thinking. I’ll try to improve. I also dislike people talking, "text-talk." (e.g.: OMG; LOL) When I hear a co-worker say, "OMG," I usually say, "What?" They’ll look up and utter, "Huh?" I respond that you called me; I’m busy." It takes a moment or two, then they will mentally back-track, roll their eyes and groan. Their usage of, "OMG,’ has diminished. That was my goal.

"Have a nice day," to me, means, "… move along. We’re finished talking." I shall usually tell the customer to, "enjoy your day."

I hear the, "kids," (young adults) call some one and ask, "what’s happenin’?" To me, it indicates, that the person placing the call is bored and wants to become, "un-bored." [Is that a real word?]

Anyone else with more phrases?

"Missy," Susan Pauline Bauer

By Missy-Susan Bauer on 10/11/2009 7:35 pm

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Oh, Missy, please don’t apologize to me, I sometimes take words much too seriously. That particular phrase grated because it was so, to me, nonsensical and somehow shallow when there are so many people dying for things that really count, like freedom and food. The other me says to me, CHILL! Loosen up! I try.

By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 10/12/2009 5:13 pm

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Hi Phyllis….I used to get my panties in a wad about the "nouning of verbs" or is it the "verbing of nouns"…and still do, but they are finding their way into acceptable usage…"Journaling" and "scrapbooking" may be OK, but I still think it sounds goofy….Sounds goofily? How about fractured proverbs? (My sister is good at these..) "You’ve buttered your bread, now lie in it…"

By georgia fatwood on 10/12/2009 7:25 am

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Oh sucks verbing is fun. Look at Calvin and Hobbes :-)

By F P on 10/12/2009 12:27 pm

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Let’s make that Oh Shucks :-) Sorry Georgia.

By F P on 10/12/2009 12:27 pm

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FP…whew! thanks for clearing that up!

By georgia fatwood on 10/12/2009 2:17 pm

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lol

By F P on 10/12/2009 2:23 pm

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Unwind your panties, honey, cuz we have already crucified the English language and now with initials instead of actual words I predict in time we will just grunt and hiss just like our lower relatives. Your sister, I hope, will never have to lie in her buttered bread, so much messier than a feather bed.:)

By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 10/12/2009 5:22 pm

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It’s the initials that get me. Acronyms are a secret way of talking that I’m not privy to. On forms, on articles of information you’d like to understand.

Then there’s that always overused non-word UTILIZE. There is no place in conversation, poetry or prose where that word is preferable to plain old USE. It’s that fancyfying the language for some special effect.

By Patrice Baldwin on 10/12/2009 7:57 pm