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A Friend Stopped By | 10/11/2009 2:00 am

'Whatever' and More Communication Offenses That Annoy People, by Sybil Adelman Sage

By Sybil Adelman Sage

Editor’s note: Sybil Adelman Sage, one of the first women to break into television writing, is currently working on a fictitious memoir titled Diary of an Overachiever: Mensa Model Finishes First in NYC Marathon After Solving Economic Problems and Proposing Health Plan Praised by Democrats and Republicans Alike. 

A recent poll taken by Marist College to determine which words are most annoying in conversation showed that the winner — well, actually, the loser — getting 47% of the vote was "whatever" (pronounced WHAT-ev-err). It beat out "you know," which irritates 25% of the respondents, "it is what it is" (11%), "anyway" (7%) and "at the end of the day" (2%). Conspicuously missing for me was "like," a longtime favored verbal tic in the younger set.

Skip over this content.

I may be more prickly than the Marist respondents because my list is much longer. I’m agitated by the use of "frankly" and "quite frankly," typically inserted before the third clause of a construction and never introducing anything more revealing or shocking than what preceded it. Even more disturbing to me is the recurring use of "sort of," overwhelmingly the favorite of academics, pundits and writers on cable news networks as well as guests on NPR. "Sort of" seems to be the sophisticated version of "like," used to sound more informal with both, judging by their frequency of usage, being addictive.

At the risk of sounding Andy Rooneyish, what’s the deal with the nodding response, that repeated bobbing up and down of the head by the listener, followed by, "OK"? 

Have these all been introduced by one person with a huge social network? And what causes them to go viral? I propose we fight the national debt by creating a category known as "communication offenses" and fining the guilty.      

100 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

phyllis Doyle Pepe
If I could have a John,  telling me in breathy murmur, that he will be my server, I would have to, graciously with slight huskiness of voice, ask what, pray tell, was he prepared to serve? This simple request, I would think, will put him in the position of ignoring me completely or blushing profusely thereby rendering him dumb and less unctuous in the rest of his applications. If this self same John gave me a cork to smell from a year old wine, I would tip him generously because very soon he will be out of a job.
By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 10/12/2009 5:39 pm
Rho

For me the worst one is "it is what it is" — drives me nuts.

 

By Rho on 10/11/2009 9:26 am
Baby  Snooks
The legal version of "it is what it is" is "the thing speaks for itself" which in itself is not conducive to discussion. Quite irritating indeed but often quite true. 
By Baby Snooks on 10/11/2009 9:36 am
georgia fatwood
Res ipsa loquitor? Put that in your arsenal!
By georgia fatwood on 10/12/2009 6:59 am
georgia fatwood

Hello again, Ms. Snooks…there is a funny collection of modern day proverbs in Latin under Henry Beard at wikiquote…..when you drop them into polite conversation, they sound perfectly grand. ("Latin For All Occasions"…Henry Beard) Some of them are a hoot in translation….

 

By georgia fatwood on 10/12/2009 8:09 am
caren gittleman
hates…………………………."kewl"……………..makes me cringe!!!
By caren gittleman on 10/11/2009 9:32 am
Susan Crawford

In no particular order:

"y’know?"

"random" [as in "I met some random guy at the club."]

"going forward" ["We must work as a team going forward."]

"So anyways" ["So anyways, it was a pretty good day."]

"bored of" ["I am so bored of … "]

"excellent" ["Excellent party, dude!"]

"you guys" [When applied to women, or to a group of men AND women]

"Eeeeeeuuwww" [Can we no longer register disgust in any other way than this squealing noise?]

"kinda" and "sorta" [Is it - - - or isn’t it?]

And a couple of mispronounciations:

Axed for asked

di-unt or dint for didn’t

And Baby Snooks, I laughed out loud at the "employees are our best asset" line! My advice: the moment you hear management spouting this cliche - start updating the resume! All hell will soon be breaking loose.

By Susan Crawford on 10/11/2009 11:01 am
georgia fatwood
Susan…hi…re: "going forward"..how about "return back" or "continue on"  "rethink again"  etc…
By georgia fatwood on 10/12/2009 8:00 am
Obediah Fults
How about "3 a.m. in the morning"? [cringe]
By Obediah Fults on 10/12/2009 11:06 am
Susan Crawford
I know! If I "went forward" as often as I’m told, I’d be somewhere in the 22nd Century by now! (With no way to "return back", either.) ;->
By Susan Crawford on 10/12/2009 4:41 pm
Patrice Baldwin
Oh, yes, ‘Let us continya on’ was one of President Johnson’s favorites. And President Eisenhower always said, "Nukuler" instead of nuclear. Drives me nuts.
By Patrice Baldwin on 10/12/2009 8:05 pm
KatyDid Wells
"Axed for asked" - aargh… instant cringe!
By KatyDid Wells on 10/12/2009 4:14 pm
Bonnie O

1)  It is not personal.

2)  I told you so.

3)  Can you believe it?

4)  The people have the right to know.  The mantra of nosy reporters  who apply the "right" with prejudice.

5)  The phrases  24/7  and    tick-dock, tick-dock.

By Bonnie O on 10/11/2009 11:01 am
phyllis Doyle Pepe
Bonnie, your number one reminded me of another––"To be honest"––always found that strange as though they usually aren’t.
By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 10/11/2009 5:42 pm
sybil sage
I’m waiting for:  amazing, totally, "no problem" in response to "thank you" and "backatcha."  Where are all the other cranks?
By sybil sage on 10/11/2009 11:33 am