A Friend Stopped By | 10/11/2009 2:00 am

'Whatever' and More Communication Offenses That Annoy People, by Sybil Adelman Sage

By Sybil Adelman Sage

Editor’s note: Sybil Adelman Sage, one of the first women to break into television writing, is currently working on a fictitious memoir titled Diary of an Overachiever: Mensa Model Finishes First in NYC Marathon After Solving Economic Problems and Proposing Health Plan Praised by Democrats and Republicans Alike.

A recent poll taken by Marist College to determine which words are most annoying in conversation showed that the winner — well, actually, the loser — getting 47% of the vote was "whatever" (pronounced WHAT-ev-err). It beat out "you know," which irritates 25% of the respondents, "it is what it is" (11%), "anyway" (7%) and "at the end of the day" (2%). Conspicuously missing for me was "like," a longtime favored verbal tic in the younger set.

Skip over this content.

I may be more prickly than the Marist respondents because my list is much longer. I’m agitated by the use of "frankly" and "quite frankly," typically inserted before the third clause of a construction and never introducing anything more revealing or shocking than what preceded it. Even more disturbing to me is the recurring use of "sort of," overwhelmingly the favorite of academics, pundits and writers on cable news networks as well as guests on NPR. "Sort of" seems to be the sophisticated version of "like," used to sound more informal with both, judging by their frequency of usage, being addictive.

At the risk of sounding Andy Rooneyish, what’s the deal with the nodding response, that repeated bobbing up and down of the head by the listener, followed by, "OK"?

Have these all been introduced by one person with a huge social network? And what causes them to go viral? I propose we fight the national debt by creating a category known as "communication offenses" and fining the guilty.

Read more about: English, Entertainment, Humor, Language, Lifestyle, Sybil Adelman Sage

100 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

I agree with Obediah that the I/me syndrome is very annoying. I also grind my teeth everytime I hear "like" repeatedly. Another expression which is over-used, particularly by young people is, "basically".

By Dorothy K on 10/12/2009 11:31 am

e-mail alert

For me, it’s: "awesome," "like," "it is what it is," "you know."

By Patricia Sprofera on 10/12/2009 1:17 pm

e-mail alert

And, "you know where I’m coming from."

By Patricia Sprofera on 10/12/2009 1:20 pm

e-mail alert

Miss pronunciation of words period is a pet peeve of mine. I was raised that correct pronunciation is very important, so I try to correct people when necessary. Some people take offence to this though, so I have to be careful.

By Eldebbo C on 10/12/2009 5:57 pm

e-mail alert

Hi Eldebbo,

Just yesterday I had a grown man tell me, "When it came to Hunting Laws I was just Bolivious!" I had to walk away. :o)

By Heidi W on 10/13/2009 9:23 am

e-mail alert

"Let’s see …" followed by a long pause before making a comment, a decision, or answering a question.

I usually assume the person is either indecisive, or is contemplating dishonesty.

By Maizie James on 10/12/2009 6:30 pm

e-mail alert

Socialist/Socialism when the speaker/writer means Communist/Communism ( or doesn’t really know what either means but is just trying to lob some general insult, such as "unpatriotic" or "dangerous," while sounding what has come to be regarded as "informed").

Has anyone noticed how often people say "compulsorary" and "supposubly" — almost as often, it seems, as we hear "irregardless."

And what’s with "heigth" (but never "weigth") and "acrosst?"

Judith Gould

By judith gould on 10/12/2009 7:54 pm

e-mail alert

I’m enjoying the discussion on this thread. It makes me feel less peculiar for taking language seriously. One of my dislikes is the word ‘gotten’. The rather harsh sound grates on my ears.

The ways to describe one’s affection: ‘I love him to pieces’ and ‘I love him to death’ leave me irritated and wondering what the ‘pieces’ or ‘dead’ lover would be like.

‘Conversate’ is another irritant…and does anyone else notice a change in the pronunciation of ‘contributing’ with the emphasis on the 3rd syllable?

1 more: why say ‘empathetic’ (I know it’s correct) when ‘empathic’ has a more pleasant sound?

By margaret carne on 10/12/2009 9:17 pm

e-mail alert

My pet peeve is "no problem" as a response to "thank you". Whatever happened to "you’re welcome?".

By Carol Wolfe on 10/12/2009 11:27 pm

e-mail alert

I hate when someone says "let’s think out of the box" "let’s get out of the box"… when they say that you know for SURE they have NO capacity to get "out of the box" lol. Another one I hate is when people who don’t think they’re being condesending (but are) talk about how they’re going to "empower their staff" or "empower their students" or "empower thier constituents" or what-EVER.

By Chrome Toe on 10/13/2009 1:01 am

e-mail alert

Dear Margo: My mentor and employer Norman Cousins, editor and publisher of the old "Saturday Review," was always delighted when he heard from your mother —and awed when, after she recommended one of his books, sales went through the roof and it stayed on the best-seller list for more than a year (surely because it was fascinating but also, as he said, because of your mother’s support.

That book, "Anatomy of an Illness," focussed on how positive attitudes improve health. As positive as Norman was, he hated —hated, hated— the phrase: "Have a good day."

He’d always reply: "Too late for that."

By Susan Schiefelbein on 10/13/2009 4:40 am

e-mail alert

This thread is funny! Now I’m hesitant to post because of fear I may offend. My mother-in-law constantly says "Frankly" when she’s discussing politics, which is often, and confusing everything with "Socialism", which many things are not. "Socialism" has to whispered as well, so that the thought police don’t get her. I say to her (in my mind) "WHATEVEERRR"- with appropiate hand motions (three fingers held up like a W).

By Tonia Scoville on 10/13/2009 9:21 am

e-mail alert

It took me years, but I finally understand & embrace "whateverrrr". It can be used in so many ways & have so many connotations. "What do you want to do? - Whatever", "Isn’t that dress kind of tight? - WHATEVERRR" Great end to argument - WHATEVERRRR. The one that drives me the craziest (thanks Dad) is "got". Such as "I got an old car" instead of "I have an old car", etc. English - so much fun!!!

By Hollace Widdowfield on 10/13/2009 9:54 am

e-mail alert

My son used to suffer from butt-hum disorder. All of his sentences were punctuated by "but, hmmm." Fortunately, he’s over it. But what about "random?" The early-twenty somethings I know say everything is random — when it rarely is.

By Dee L on 10/13/2009 11:21 am

e-mail alert

Ummm, I would ummmm have to say ummmm, not getting, ummmm to your point, ummmm, and dragging, ummmmm, the conversation, ummmmm on and on and ummmmmmm on - is really ummmmm annoying…..

By C Hardy on 10/13/2009 1:57 pm