05/08/2009 11:00 am
Life
Face Transplant Patient Connie Culp Tells 'Good Morning America' She Still Loves Her Husband (Video)
Thomas Culp shot Connie in the face five years ago, leaving her unable to breath on her own, eat solid foods, smell or leave her home without fear of scaring young children.
Connie Culp on 'Good Morning America'
Connie Culp, who was shot in the face by her abusive husband five years ago, still gets choked up when talking about him.
"I still love my husband," said Culp in an interview with Diane Sawyer on "Good Morning America." "I can’t talk about him, OK?"
Culp became the first full-face transplant patient in the United States after Thomas Culp shot her in 2004. He also shot himself, but survived and was sentenced to seven years in jail, while his wife lived through a nightmare. She was left without a nose or palate and unable to breathe on her own, eat solid food, smell or smile.
In December 2008, she endured 22 hours of surgery to undergo a face transplant that will help enable her to live a more normal life.
When asked if she ever forgave her husband for the gruesome act, Culp replied: "I forgave him the day he did it."
Culp, a victim of domestic violence, warned other women to get out of a relationship at the first sign of abuse. Watch a portion of the "GMA" interview below, via The Daily Beast:
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Actually, this makes sense. I seriously doubt that the day he shot her was the first time she’d been threatened, or beaten, or whatever. If he hadn’t almost killed her and been sent to prison (at which point his fate was out of her hands), she’d probably still be apologizing for his conduct and living with him. Her comment proves she hasn’t mentally moved on. To her, he just has "problems", that’s all. She still loves him despite the fact that he tried to blow her head off with a shotgun. Lady, that’s raw hatred and nothing but. He’s sick and you’re sad.
This just goes to show that you can patch up the facade, but you can’t fix the mind sometimes. I won’t be interested in hearing from this pathetic woman again.
Well, how clever you must feel, being able to cut and paste the definition of the word "pathetic" . Kind of performing in a spelling bee, is it? The common usage of "pathetic" in our culture currently is one of a put-down/insult/derision…and contextually, that is quite exactly how you present it. MY point about your abusing her is hardly moot! Regarding the abuse: it is not about you can "do it behind her back" as you seem to indicate… therefore, it doesn’t count. Myself and others see you doing it and I am sure I am not the only one who sees the trashing you are engaging in. Even if just I see it and see it for trashing. that it is…then it is abuse…the ultimate acid test is if you say it to her face, will you be abusing her? Yes, you will. You are trashing her now from your lofty perch….let’s see you do it in a personal encounter with her….NO? That’s my point. People who choose to trash others easily on-line do it because it it easy to from a hiding-hole of email and no address face phone number to connect this mean behavior to. That is sad and small.
Now…here is what you seemed not to have considered, because you are ill-informed: She has a brain-injury! Ask ANY neuropsychiatrist, neuropsychologist or others who specialize in "Head Trauma: The After-Effects", and you will see this is so. A significant traumatic injury to the face = brain injury (ESPECIALLY in Ms. Culp’s case). To sustain such injury as she did, and in the areas that she did, and not be brain-injured is impossible. Say it again? Yes, completely, physically IMPOSSIBLE. This would mightily account for her position about her spouse and feelings. Neuropsychiatrists and other who specialize in brain-injured clients will attest to this. That she is not identifying as brain-injured is not surprising. No one really wants people to know that they are brain injured, especially if they can, from a surface interaction "pass for normal". Many who are brain-injured with abberated judgement, chronically disturbed emotions, impossibly illogical choices and more… will not even able to recognize the deficits of their brain function. As I said, she has a looooong road to heal and much of the injury is what you don’t see (brain). You can transplant a face now, but not a brain yet. Brains get "broken" and most often stay "broken", and all the king’s horses and all the king’s men can’t put them back together again. The best that can happen, is learning to try to function within unbelieveably great limitations….over and over and over. Suggestion/challenge: Feel free to volunteer with brain-injured people sometime and get the opportunity for HUGE Gestalt moment of understanding from your working, functional brain, about what life is like for these folks and how it is different for every one of them. Incidentally, many women/people who have been severely beaten have measurable brain-injury and cognitive deficit as permanent injury and the penalties for the assailants in no way yet, legally reflect the extreme loss and hardship these victims will permanently struggle with for the rest of their lives.
My, my, my.
No, I don’t don’t come from a "lofty perch" and yes, I would say what I did in my post to Ms. Culp’s face. I don’t "hide" behind the internet, and never have. Why do you think I use my real name and photo? Actually, I’m one of the few people who would say what I really think to Ms. Culp! My friends like me for a various reasons, but one of them is that I’m the person who tells them the truth when no one else will. I certainly don’t expect you to appreciate that quality, but whatever. It doesn’t bother me.
And no - it’s not all that "clever" to cut and paste and dictionary definition. (I’m pretty anyone can do it.)
Go ahead and justify Ms. Culp’s emotional attachment to her husband any way you’d like - it’s a "brain injury", or she’s a battered woman (duh), etc. etc. It’s completely ridiculous to say than I’m "abusing" or "trashing" her because of my opinion. From her reaction to the question, it seems to me she’s quite aware that it’s bizarre to still love this man. She knows it’s pathetic. I’m not going to think of her as stupid or a child simply because she was grievously injured. If anything is insulting, I think that is. Nor will I won’t turn Ms. Culp into a saint because she’s a victim. I certainly wouldn’t want that done to me.
Don’t assume I don’t understand what brain injuries are, lady. You have no idea what I’ve seen or done or dealt with in my life - just as I don’t know about yours.
And that’s it. I won’t reply to you again about this matter. I don’t think anyone here wants to see a protracted back-&-forth.
Sherry, i’m sure ms culp will see this give and take as this is a wowow interview and i’m sure she is reading all the responses or at least having some one read them to her. so i’m sure she is VERY aware of your put downs. i doubt her saying she still loves her husband means she would go back to him in a heartbeat. one of the things she said was "leave at the first sign of abuse!" obvously she still loves him. hell, i still love my alcoholic, opinionated, asshole ex husband. i just cannot live with him and will never forgive him for pushing me to the brink of death b/c of his drinking. sometimes i hate him. obviously this woman knows her ex is an asshole times 10. but she still cares for him and it hurts her to talk about it b/c she knows its wrong. you don’t just stop loving another human being overnight. it takes time. counselling will only do so much.
the other poster just wanted to you show the milk of human kindness, no matter if your an atheist or the biggest religious person in the world. there is no reason to sit there and talk shit about another person just trying to deal with pain and hurt. as for being over it, HELL no she isn’t and probably won’t be til her dying day. you don’t get over something like that EVER. so be patient, understanding and wish her well. i’m sure she can use your well wishes. i can always use that. we all can!
Of course I wish Ms. Culp the best. I don’t wish her anything but the best. Just because I am exceedingly uncomfortable with her emotional response to her husband doesn’t mean that I wish this lady any ill, for Pete’s sake!
Look - I’m sorry that you and Ms. Celeste feel that I’m "putting Ms. Cult down." That is not my intent, whatsoever. My views are just that: my views and opinion. I’m not saying that Ms. Culp is scum of the earth or anything remotely like that (now as for her husband being scum, YES.) My opinion of her emotional response is not to cast aspersions on her character. I was being specific about her feelings for her murderous husband.
I’ve read Ms. Celeste’s posts and I read yours carefully, also. I want you to understand that I don’t come from some perfect background either. I personally know what abuse is, too. My response to that crap may be a little different from yours, Ms. Celeste’s, and Ms. Culp’s. When I was a kid, it was different - you can’t just go. But as an adult, no frigging way. To quote Forrest Gump, "I know what love is" - and I know what it isn’t. When your gut starts talking, you have to start walking. I ‘divorced’ those who were abusive to me long, long ago. I don’t love those people, as they never loved me. My personality simply won’t let me be anyone’s scapegoat or punching bag. I just … won’t. I’d rather be alone than with someone who hates me.
I doubt that Ms. Culp knows or will ever know what’s been voiced on this forum. This is just one website and one forum amongst tens of thousands, at least. Besides, I cannot be the only one with the opinion that I’ve expressed here.
But let’s just say, hypothetically, that you, Ms. Celeste, and I somehow became Ms. Culp’s voluntary caretakers. She would get just as much nurturance from me as she would from you or Ms. Celeste, trust me. I’m a hell of a caretaker when someone or something needs it. I would never force my opinion on Ms. Culp herself. Having said that, however, I don’t believe that I must green-stamp everything my charge thinks or says or does, either. If the discussion turned towards Ms. Culp’s emotional attachment to her husband and she asked - then yes, at that time she would know what I thought. It has nothing to do with treating someone with respect and care. In my opinion, it has to do with being genuine and truthful.
Thanks for your thoughts, Nancy, although we are going to have to ‘agree to disagree.’
yvw, sometimes i also come off a little brash. somebody accused me of being harsh and unfeeling when replying to a post on suicides. but honesty is the best policy always works. i see where you are coming from now and i really appreciate the time you took to explain it to me. i think your feelings are valid. we just didn’t want you thinking bad of ms. culp because of her mental and emotional state. i’m hoping when he gets released (like that bastard ever should be, 7yrs? OMG) her family keeps her the hell away from him. a good restraining order helps. i hate him too. he should be thrown up under the jail house and they throw away the key.
btw, it’s okay to agree to disagree!
Sherry,
After reading your posts in regard to the woman with the new face, I felt compelled to read all your posts. The stories you posted about your mother(s) leads me to share a story with you. My mother tried to kill me when I was a four. I was the youngest of four boys and times were hard. My father abandoned us right after I was born, an alcoholic who couldn’t keep a job. My mother couldn’t take it. So she tried to drown me in the bath tub. Just me.
Like you, I am tough. Sure, it left me scarred, but that is all it is - a scar… not an open wound. I don’t know why I am writing this to you, a stranger. Maybe, I am writing it because I felt we had just a little in common, both of us having been traumatized by our parents. Or, maybe, it is because (as you indicated in another of your posts), we have both experienced infidelity. Or maybe I am just mesmerized by your photo. In any case… Best Regards, Jack Edwards