Liz Smith: Confessin’ Brad Pitt Gives The Tabloids a Big Perk

And more from our Liz: Joan Collins — don’t ask, because she will surely tell! Plus, does Rick Perry’s Texas really have the “right” to secede?

 

“QUESTIONS ARE never indiscreet, answers sometimes are,” said Oscar Wilde.

* * *

I COULD have lived a million years and been satisfied never to have read one thing from Brad Pitt’s lips on the subject of his marriage to Jennifer Aniston.

But apparently, in an effort to drum up publicity for his coming movie, Brad found it necessary to tell Parade magazine that his life with Aniston was “pathetic,” that he was trying to “make the marriage something it wasn’t,” and that he became bored with himself, sitting around smoking pot. (Does Brad think he’s giving anybody with half a brain a scoop? Who didn’t know he was a big pot-head back in the day?) Now he is blissful and cannabis-free with Miss Angelina Jolie.

He complained, too, about all the made-up tabloid stories. Is he unaware that he has now supplied at least three year’s worth of headlines? Brad has a perfect right to air his feelings. But considering the continued crazy interest in Jen n’ Brad n’ Angie, you’d think he’d temper his remarks and just not go there. For everybody’s sake.

Otherwise, I am so happy he’s happy with Jolie and their six kids and we all appreciate the good works undertaken by this glamour couple.

Brad’s also given another sit-down, to Entertainment Weekly, in which he muses on the misery of making “Interview With The Vampire” with Tom Cruise. Brad hated the script, his role, the contact lenses he had to wear. One also gets the feeling he didn’t much cotton to Tom, either. Well, perhaps Tom didn’t care for all that pot-smoking?

But it would be quite uncharacteristic for Tom Cruise to complain.

* * *

SPEAKING OF indiscreet honesty, our girl Joan Collins certainly let loose to the London Telegram the other day. Not that Joan has ever been a shrinking violet, but she turned into a great, glamorous Venus Fly Trap for reporter Bryony Gordon. She is promoting her new book, The World According to Joan.

Joan weighed in on politics (she likes David Cameron) … the recent London riots (“These kids are so ignorant and stupid … no moral compass because they spend their life playing those games where they kill and shoot. And they watch a lot of violent stuff on television.”) Collins hates the omnipresence of porn, too.

In her new book, Joan says, “It’s no one’s fault to be born ugly, but honestly, must it be worn as a symbol of pride?” She thinks chivalry is dead, men are “turning gay” because women are unfeminine and that no woman over a size ten should wear a slip dress. You mustn’t show bare legs in the winter or wear jeans. These are Joan’s rules if one wishes to exist in a civilized manner.

And what of today’s female stars? How do they rate? Keira Knightly? “Well, she’s thin.”

Carey Mulligan? “I don’t want to comment on her. But I can’t believe she’s playing Eliza Dolittle in a new movie.” (See, Joan knows she cannot get away with “no comment.”)

Kate Winslet? “Oh, that dreadful dress,” says Joan of Kate’s outfit in Venice recently. “The worst dress and an awful hairstyle and ghastly shoes. I’m sorry.” (Imagine how Kate feels!)

What about models? “Kate Moss is okay. But she’s no Linda Evangelista in my mind.”

The popular singer, Adele? “She’s a very good singer. Very, very talented, but she has a terrible hairpiece.”

However, Joan did come up with one celeb of which she expressed unqualified admiration — Victoria Beckham. “Oh, I love Victoria,” Joan told reporter Gordon. “You’ve finally found someone I like.”

Honesty might not be the best policy, but it’s the only one Joan knows. Oh, and she still insists she’s never had any “work” done — sex does for her what Botox does for ladies less blessed by nature and without a hubby more than 30 years younger.

* * *

NOW JUST a little footnote on politics or “guv’ment” as some call it. Here is something pretty special from the New York Review of Books about the right of any state to secede from the union. Governor Rick Perry seemed to be suggesting at a Tea Party rally in April, 2009 that a state could secede from the union. Perry said Texas would “be able” to leave the U.S. if the state “decided to do that.”

Writer Michael Tomasky gives a footnote: “Neither Texas nor any other state can secede. Chief Justice Salmon P. Chase’s majority opinion in the 1869 ‘Texas v.White’ decision made this stipulation and it has never been challenged.

“In a sign perhaps of our dispiriting times, the Supreme Court Historical Society will conduct a mock rehearing of this case in November, to be presided over by Justice Antonin Scalia.”

Omigod!

38 comments so far.

  1. avatar wilowist says:

    Brad and Pat Robertson have had an unfortunate week.

  2. avatar Count Snarkula says:

    Oh Joan, you know how much I love you, but…you have had work done, continue to have work done, and so does the Count. On another note, Does Justice Antonin Scalia have nothing better to do than to preside over some “mock rehearing” disproving the drivel that comes out of Rick Perry’s mouth? Really?

  3. avatar D C says:

    Hmmm.. Joan Collins?  Joan Collins… Joan Collins…. NO… sorry… can’t place her.  Is she someone important? 

  4. avatar D C says:

    Brad Pitt is like a dog.  Sooooo cute when he was just a puppy… you just wanted to pet him all day long.  He’s older now… nice looking dog.  Mostly well trained, but occasionally leaves a dribble now and then. 

  5. avatar D C says:

    Rick Perry REALLY BELIEVES Texas has the right to succeed, but  doesn’t have the stones to try it.  Because every once in a while, we still need the USA — Hurricane Ike… current wildfires…. He like to be that long tall Texan walking around with his swagger, but all he really is, is a career politician trying like heck to climb to the top of the ladder while he still has some good looks.  His greatest ambition in life is NOT to serve the people of the US, but to have them serve his greatest ambition — to be the king of the hill.  Please, America… there has to be somebody better.  Has to be. 

  6. avatar Lila says:

    What IS it with the Republican candidates lately? This country experienced an unsettling little bit of unrest back around the 186os, over this very question. But it was no big deal, only the deadliest war in US history with over 620,000 dead, so I can see how Perry might have missed that. The Republicans campaigning in 1860 labeled any threat of disunion “treason” and both the outgoing Buchanan (D) and incoming Lincoln (R) declared the secessions of 1861 illegal. So put that one to rest, Mr. Perry.

    • avatar Mary says:

      Lila, When houses don’t sell or to help them sell they have a expert come to stage the house. In my ever humble opinion these candidates need some serious staging.  Good grief.  A crash course in American History might also be a great idea sprinkled with a dash of reality. Which side of the coin will they support on any given day is well, hmmm, a coin toss?

      • avatar Lila says:

        Mary, it is completely predictable which side of any issue they will support: the OPPOSITE of what the other side supports, no matter how much sense it might make or how good it is for the country. There are multiple examples of both sides promoting an idea themselves while the other side shoots it down, but then when the other side takes up the same idea, the original promoters shoot it down. Both parties are really just the “NO” party lately, though the Republicans really scare me more. Makes me want to give them all a swift kick in the pants. Or a time-out in the corner, since that’s how they are behaving…

        We should start a campaign this election cycle to all vote for the Not-Democrat-Not-Republican candidates. Whoever they are, they cannot do worse.

  7. avatar Aline says:

    Brad and Angelina are filthy rich but have absolutely no class. Money cannot buy that. And why move studios keep paying Jennifer Anniston is beyond me. All of her movies tank because she has no talent and is not a pretty woman. I read that she got into showbiz because her dad was in the biz. Seems like someone would have figured out by now that she is boring. I wish Brad, Jen and Angie would just go away.

    • avatar Count Snarkula says:

      @Aline – You really should learn how to openly and honestly express yourself.  When you hold back like this you are likely to get an ulcer.  ;-)   XOXO – The Count

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Brad Pitt appears no smarter now than when he was smokin’ dope in Beverly Hills.  But that doesn’t make him a bad person.  Just kinda dumb.  He seems happy with the complicated life that Miss Jolie has presented to him.  Obviously, he needs to be kept occupied.

      Miss Aniston continues to be very well-paid and sometimes popular onscreen.  I’ve never heard a truly nasty word about her.  She does quite a bit of charity work herself, tho not on the level of Brad and Angie, who suffer the weight of the world on their golden shoulders.

      Joan, Joan, Joan!  You are forgiven all your bitchy remarks and your fabulous insistence that you’ve aged “naturally.”   Because?  You never were and never could be Elizabeth Taylor.  (And don’t think we’ve forgotten all the jabs at La Liz)     You kept a better figure, you didn’t drink, you didn’t tan.  You never had a sick day in your life. You outlived her.   Take pleasure in that and relax.  Nobody cares what you think about Kate Winslet, who is today holding an Emmy, to put next to her Oscar. 

      You are 79 years old, Joan.  Healthy as a horse, and  great-looking. (However you have managed it!)  Still working, too. Be thankful and shut the fuck up about other people. 

      • avatar Count Snarkula says:

        Mr. Wow of COURSE Joan could never be Elizabeth.  For many reasons.  My favorite one being “Empire of the Ants”.

      • avatar Mr. Wow says:

        Oh, dear Count…

        But that was just one of many reasons.  (What about “Tales That Witness Madness!”)

        Look, Joan had her fab moments–”Rally, Round the Flag, Boys” and “The Opposite Sex”  but she never ever became a star until “Dynasty” and by then she had hardened her one talent–being a super-duper drag queen–into stone.  It was great.  But it wasn’t Liz.  And she was never out of ET’s shadow.  No matter how good (or how much better) Joan might have looked from time to time, she was the bewigged virago of “Dynasty” and Liz was…a legend. 

        It was irksome for Joanie. 

      • avatar Count Snarkula says:

        @Mr. Wow:  Well, if we are going to go there…how about the charming, heartwarming episode of the 1972 “Tales from the Crypt” movie entitled “All through the House”.  That chestnut not only has Joan killing her husband, but getting strangled by a maniac dressed as Santa Clause.  That her daughter lets in the house.  Truly an enduring Christmas Classic chez Snarkula.  Also, check out Joan’s face in that one compared to the one she’s sporting now.  Yeah, no work to see here people, just keep moving.  Joan Collins best and most lasting role has been…Joan Collins.

      • avatar rick gould says:

        Count-
        The thought of Joan Collins getting strangled by a maniac dressed as Santa Claus makes me laugh uproariously! Who was it, Anthony Newley?

        My favorite “Dynasty” moment was when Joan/Alexis is angling for a romantic reunion with ex-Blake/John Forsythe. She goes into the bathroom wearing her typical poofy wig and gown and comes out in a robe and her own hair in a headband, which looks like it is holding 6 strands!

      • avatar Mr. Wow says:

        Dear Rick…
        My fave “Dynasty” moment is when Alexis throws Blake and Krystal out of the mansion.  Standing at the top of the stairs with an armload of furs, she announces…”Take this junk (tossing the furs over the railing) and your cheap tramp (indicating the perpetually stricken Krystal) and get out!” 

        Then Blake tries to strangle her (cut to a double because Joan didn’t like those physical scenes.  Maybe too many people wanting to kill her in real life!) 
         

      • avatar D C says:

        STFU.  Ahh Mr. Wow… how you make me smile. 

      • avatar rick gould says:

        There’s nothing “natural” about Joan Collins! Not in her looks, acting and demeanor.

        As for her attitude, I can’t recall ever reading anything nice she’s ever had to say about her fellow performers or one charitable act she’s performed. Seriously.

        That is what has always set Elizabeth Taylor apart from Joan Collins.

        I’ve always thought of Joan Collins as being one step up from Zsa Zsa Gabor on the Hollywood food chain.

      • avatar Count Snarkula says:

        @rick gould – Not Nice! She was an incredible Mother. Look what she did with Katy. Even though her marriage was over. C’mon people, she did some nice things.

      • avatar Mr. Wow says:

        Dear Count…

        She was (is) a very good mum.  Her kids remain close to her.  She is full of energy and positive thinking.  About herself.  She really is a bitch when it comes to anybody else. 

        But that doesn’t make her a bad person.  Just self-absorbed.  Like they are were (are)

      • avatar Mr. Wow says:

        correction: ….like they all were (are) 

      • avatar Mr. Wow says:

        Dear Rick…

        And let us not forget—I know I never have–that Joan told Playboy magazine back in 1982, that Aids was perhaps a “punishment” for all that immoral gay sex.  This from a woman whose late-life career depended on the kindness of the gays. 

        Upon Elizabeth Taylor’s death, Joan was suddenly shoulder to shoulder with La Liz, battling AIDS. 

      • avatar rick gould says:

        Didn’t Bette Davis once refer to Joan as “the original good time had by all”?

        Glad to know Collins’ absurdly tacky Playboy pictures were only exceeded by her tacky remarks…

  8. avatar Belinda Joy says:

    Brad Pitt – Why must you speak sweetheart? Just stand at Angelina’s side and look pretty.

    Joan Collins – Why do we care what she thinks? She reminds me of an old day Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton. Famous for being famous. Not because of any real talent. Played supporting roles in TV and occassionally film but for the most part rose to success on her looks and who she bedded. We think of her as many will think of Lindsay, Kim and Paris in 30 years.

    Rick Perry – Great catch Ms Liz.   Funny, I wonder if he were to become our next president, if he would feel the same about seceding if those that didn’t agree with his politics two days after he took office, took to the streets to voice their desire to secede?     

  9. avatar French Heart says:

    Rick Perry leave the US and take Texas with him? Where do I send the ‘Bon Voyage’ card?

    • avatar Count Snarkula says:

      @ French Heart – Don’t be unkind.  There are several of us Texans you might just be glad to meet up with.  The name Liz Smith comes to mind . . .

  10. avatar BeanCounter says:

    Joan – being a total hateful b!tch doesn’t make you interesting or relevant.   Thanks for making some more women feel even more sh!tty about themselves for being overweight, you hag.   aren’t you dead yet?

  11. avatar Richard Bassett says:

      I remember Joan Collins divorce from her 4th husband, Peter Holm in 1987. Peter was spending more money than Joan was making. Despite the age difference, Joan had her reasons to end that marriage. Being realistic, she told him in court, “Peter, I am in my 50′s. I have no idea how much longer this success is going to be!” (She was in the middle of filming Dynasty at the time) She had to pay him a fortune for a settlement and she show only lasted two more years. She did get to work woth actor/model Jon-Eril Hexum before he tragically died so life couldn’t have been all bad! After “Dynasty” she gained the title of being “the poor man’s Elizabeth Taylor” (or maybe she had that name titled throughout her entire career. I’m not sure). I remember seeing her screen test for “Cleopatra. She wasn’t any better or worse than Elizabeth Taylor at that point. I just remember those Cleopatra eyes.
          Despite his turmoil with Jennifer and Angelina, in 2005 he became philanthropically involved with ending poverty and AIDS awareness. There was some promise of being a solo humanitarian but as soon as he announced his romance with Angelina, they were joined at the hip, becoming Brangelina and to this day, they are known as that. As for Jennifer, I saw the tears during an interview after Angelina announced was going to have Brad’s baby. When Angelia announced she fell in love with Brad during Mr and Mrs Smith (while Brad and Jen were still ‘happily’ married), Jennifers only comment was, “The wasn’t too cool”. Jennifer ‘s serial romances are not hard to figure out. She will never give her heart away or be so vulnerable again…no matter how rich,pretty and famous that she is. She will never put herself in that position to be so very hurt again. Unlike Debbie Reynolds, who married a few times after Eddie…tells me that she really didn’t love Eddie or that the marriage real. But I think Jennifer put 150% of herself to Brad and their marriage, and was excited about starting a family. Sometimes it takes a lifetime (or beyond) to recover from that type of hurt. All smiles and dates on the outside, but still heartbroken on the inside. She loved him and never expected an Angelina to pop up. To the world, she’s moved forward but her heart in tied to Brad’s. Something he, or the public will never know.

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Richard…

      Actually, the “Poor man’s Elizabeth Taylor” moniker came about way back in the late 1950′s, as ET soared and Joan languished.    It really scarred Joan, as she most certainly beleived she was far more beautiful and talented than La Liz.  But, those are the breaks.  She was fab in “Dynasty” and made a fortune.  Having scraped by for so many years, Joan really enjoyed her stardom, when it finally came, and saved and invested wisely. 

      Given her good health, there is most certainly another act in JC’s career. (Tho I hope she will retire her nightclub act.  That’s pretty bad.)

      • avatar Count Snarkula says:

        I saw her years ago in “Private Lives”.  I think Joan would be wise to stick to Noel Coward.  She can camp that up all she wants and wear fabulous gowns.  And I’ll pay to see in those kind of things.  I saw the nightclub act too Mr. Wow.  No…..just…..No.

      • avatar Dan Patterson says:

        I saw Joan Collins live only once, in a reading of LOVE LETTERS with Stacy Keach, and she was effective. You mentioned Noel Coward. I really liked her varied performances in TONIGHT AT 8:30. She was quite good there. There are some things she does very well indeed. My favorite of her “bad” movies is LAND OF THE PHAROAHS (or, as I think of it, “I, NELLIFER”) wherein she plays a scheming would-be queen of Egypt. Her whole bag of tricks is on display and the whole movie is just good bad fun.

      • avatar rick gould says:

        What’s that old expression: “If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride.”

        Joan being envious of Elizabeth is like Jayne Mansfield being jealous of Marilyn. Emulating an original does not make a star.

        Collins may have had her moments on film (I find her incredibly flat and tinny in her 50s flicks) but as camp, Collins succeeded on television. Joan should be grateful, not grating!

  12. avatar Baby Snooks says:

    I wish I were in the mood to dish the dirt on Joan Collins but I’m not so until another time. Plus she would probably sue me. As for Brad Pitt, well, maybe he got fed up with the ongoing “poor Jennifer the Vestal Victim” saga and decided to set the record straight. And once again, well, you cannot break up a happy marriage. As for Tom Cruise, well, we don’t go there. He sends out hit men to deprogram you. Which is probably why Brad Pitt sort of was polite about him.

    As for Texas seceding, well, as they say in real estate, the contract is the contract. It’s in the “fine print” when Texas joined the Union. And even the Supreme Court cannot undo a contract. And anyone who thinks different is, well, as nuts as Rick Perry.

    • avatar Count Snarkula says:

      Oh Baby how much I wish you were in the mood to dish the dirt on Joan. !!! But as you are not, will you at least please tell me that there is a potential that one day you will? And you will with me? One of the Count’s best friends is an attorney. A famous one. And she can handle any slander claims that might come your way with just one phone call from the Count. Don’t want to cross the line and ask for an excerpt from the book that you will never write…but c’mon…its the Count. Give me a little Joan tidbit. XOXO – The Count

      • avatar Mr. Wow says:

        Oh, come, on you two…dish. 

        Yeah, I could too, but…well…I think we’re all in the same boat.

        But she’s just awful.  In a great way.   Unless you’re her husband. 

      • avatar rick gould says:

        I recall Anthony Newley quoted as saying that if Joan could make a dollar selling her own excrement, she would…which she sorta did, via her later career, lending her name to ANYTHING after Collins won the Dynasty career lottery!