Liz Smith: Hillary Clinton Gets Advice From Dr. Evil

Hillary Clinton / Dick Cheney

And more from our Liz: Mel Gibson as a Jewish hero?… Musicals dominate Broadway … Karl Lagerfeld on royal weddings and big creeps

“HIS MOUTH is full of cursing and deceit and fraud: under his tongue is mischief and vanity,” says the Bible.

* * *

I WAS reminded of this quote on seeing reports that Dick Cheney, who acted as vice president for George W. Bush (but we know who really ran the works!) suggested it “wouldn’t be a bad idea” if Hillary Clinton challenged Barack Obama next year in the run for president.

Oh, Dick, please find the rock you were under and go away. This will never happen. Mrs. Clinton knows it would tear her party to shreds. The only way it could happen would be if Obama stepped aside and asked her to run. This will not happen either. But it’s a nice way to foment more discontent among Democrats. Dick is like Mike Myers’ creation, Dr. Evil. Only not so funny.

* * *

REPORTER Mike Fleming’s exclusive, which appeared on “Deadline New York” last Friday, told us that Mel Gibson will make a movie, written by the controversial Joe Eszterhas. In this movie, Mel will play the heroic Judah Maccabee. He was a revolutionary scriptural leader of the Jews in the 2nd century B.C.

Writer Eszterhas was once the most successful screenwriter in Hollywood, having scored with “Basic Instinct,” “Jagged Edge,” “Flashdance,” and “Music Box.” He, like Mel, was always an obstreperous Hollywood bad boy. But as a human being, I admired him and thoroughly enjoyed his company in his later life and semi-retirement from the scene. This was when he segued from hanging with stars like Sharon Stone and quarreling with Hollywood’s VIP agent Mike Ovitz by moving to Ohio with his loyal wife and numerous sons.

Now, Mel Gibson is one of moviedom’s true hero/villains, having scored as a tough tender leading man in movie success after movie success before he imploded on drugs, drink and several arrests. We won’t dwell on his leaving his longtime marriage and many children for another woman. (And that didn’t work either!) Gibson became a fixture of headlines, suffering DUIs, while he frothed at the mouth about Jews, women, and the Law.

But both these talented giants are back! Now, Mel is about due for a total Hollywood comeback playing a heroic historic Jew even though scores of people believe him to be anti-Semitic.

Mr. Eszterhas has survived Mr. Fleming’s writeup about him as a rehabilitated ex drunk, drugger and womanizer.

The report on these two larger-than-life talents however, neglects to add that the last I heard, the devoutly Roman Catholic Mel evidently still believes that anyone who isn’t is definitely going to hell!

And, Joe, after a bout with serious cancer, has become — of all things — a reformed, sensitive soul greatly influenced by Christian philosophy.

* * *

THE ASTONISHING actor Hugh Laurie was recently profiled in The New York Times magazine under this headline: “I equate happiness with contentment, and contentment with complacency, and complacency with impending disaster.”

Meanwhile the English Mr. Laurie has become one of the most popular actors in American television as the acerbic and mysterious sadist doctor in the long-running series “House.”

The occasion of his giving an interview to Gavin Edwards was the release of his album of New Orleans blues, titled “Let Them Talk.” I was amused that here was an entire story about Hugh Laurie that didn’t bother to mention he once played the father of a mouse in the movie “Stuart Little.”

Now that’s a diverting claim to fame!

* * *

IS THIS a first?! In the more than 60 years I’ve been going to Broadway shows, starting with “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes,” I have never before seen a moment when there was only one “straight” play on the boards.

Eighteen of the nineteen shows on Broadway are musicals. Only the wonderfully touching “War Horse” is a drama — and it is a true marvel and hit of hits. And “War Horse” is quite a way “up” Broadway at the Vivian Beaumont Theater of Lincoln Center.

Of course, things will change the moment Terence Rattigan’s “Man and Boy,” starring Frank Langella, opens on October 9th at the American Airlines Theater on 42nd Street. October will bring us “The Mountaintop,” starring Angela Bassett and Samuel L. Jackson. There’ll also be “Relatively Speaking,” three one-act plays written by Ethan Coen, Elaine May and Woody Allen.

In November, we’ll see a revival of Noel Coward’s “Private Lives” with Kim Cattrall and Paul Gross. (She scored big in this in London last year.)

December brings “Bonnie & Clyde,” starring Laura Osnes and Jeremy Jordan. But, guess what? It’s a musical by Frank Wildhorn and Don Black.

* * *

WELL, IT certainly took Karl Lagerfeld long enough to weigh in on the fashions of the royal wedding. Goodness, I’d all but forgotten that William and Kate had wed. Too many earthquakes, hurricanes, wildfires and unemployment over here to have that event linger in my mind.

Anyway, Karl disdained most of what the women wore, citing “bad proportions…ugly hats and short skirts on fat legs.” He did have praise for the bride, however. “Her gown was very refined. Much more refined than the one Diana wore.” (Please, it was the excessive 1980’s. Diana’s gigantic Cinderella gown was totally of its time.)

Karl says women who criticize thin models are “fat mummies sitting in front of the TV with their bags of crisps.” Karl, don’t hold back and don’t get your fingerless gloves soiled.

Oh, and Karl got away from fashion long enough to comment on Dominique Strauss-Kahn, now back in France after his run-in with the Manhattan justice system. “I love DSK. I love his wife. They are great people and when they came back, I sent them flowers. He’s fun. He’s great, he’s a sweet guy — as long as you’re not a woman.”

41 comments so far.

  1. avatar Karen Ferguson says:

    Every time I read Liz Smith, she leaves me with a bigger smile. I can get breathless and speechless with indignation, but she can brush the clouds away with a simple “Oh, Dick, please find the rock you were under and go away.” That and the admonition not to soil the fingerless gloves: made my day.

    • avatar JCF4612 says:

      Yes, Dick needs to go away, far far away. His day of influence while holding W’s hand is over, and we’re all better off for it.

      I don’t expect that Obama or anybody else will be able to clean up their mess for many years to come.

  2. avatar Baby Snooks says:

    I WAS reminded of this quote on seeing reports that Dick Cheney, who acted as vice president for George W. Bush (but we know who really ran the works!)

    _____________________________________________________________

    Behind every Boy from Brazil is Dr. Menegele. And behind every Dr. Mengele is, well, Daddy.  And I suspect Daddy isn’t too pleased with Dr. Mengele taking swipes at his son and pitting his latest adopted son against his daughter-in-law. None of them too pleased with Pastor Perry. Of course he was never too pleased with them.  Bad blood as they say.  And getting badder. 

    Daddy liked Barack. But the people don’t. So. Jeb of course can’t run because, well, he’s a Bush. Huntsman was the man. The next potential adopted son. But, well, forget it. So who’s left?  Hillary.  Of course if Pastor Perry is the nominee, well, the people will suddenly like Barack again. Fickle fools we are. But fools nonetheless.

  3. avatar Barbara says:

    Liz, I agree completely on your assessment of Dr Doom (Cheney). He is just trying to stir up trouble among Democrats because the Republicans cannot seem to find one electable candidate. His new book is so blatantly biased with huge gaps where he left out anything that mentioned the terrible judgments he and George W made, it’s amazing anyone would buy it. He’s just looking to drum up trouble for the Dems and book sales for himself.

    How easy it is for men. Karl can send flowers to DSK because he doesn’t have to worry about sexual assaults. Amazing that someone whose fortune came from women buying his creations does not care about how those customers of his are treated by men.

  4. avatar Paul Smith says:

    Mr. Cheney knows his Dems. Just as Obama is losing his own party’s support, Mr. Cheney reminds voters that Mrs. Clinton was tossed aside like a Charlie Sheen hooker once Mr. Obama became the Democratic darling. Who’s sorry now? as Connie Francis likes to sing.

  5. avatar D C says:

    Dick Cheney is a true psychotic.  He is the monster of adult nightmares.  Evil incarnate.  Just waiting for him to lose it and do what he’s always wanted to do, leaving death and destruction in his wake. 

    Oh…. wait… he already did that.  Iraq. 

  6. avatar Mr. Wow says:

    Dick Cheney is not human.  I watched an interview with him the other day. He was asked-in the wake of Iraq and Afghanistan, all of it, all the death and destruction and billions of dollars–if he had any regrets?  Even one.  Nope!  Not even one.

    I mean, I’m sorry—everybody has regrets.  Especially when they have the blood of thousands on their hands. That is, they should have regrets.  But not Dick.  Then again, neither does Bloody Judith Miller.   But I bet Bush does. He’s kinda dumb, but not evil.  And Mrs. Clinton, who voted for the war. (Well, in those days if you didn’t, you were traitor!)

    As for Obama, I have a feeling he regrets having high hopes and aspirations.   But…we’ve still got 14 months to go.   I can’t write him off yet and resign myself to Perry or even Romney.

    • avatar Baby Snooks says:

      You need to go read the book again. The Boy from Brazil ain’t a dummy sitting on Dr. Mengele’slap. He was “genetically programmed.” And not to be a choir boy. I grew up watching them, the Bushes, the Bakers and the Candlesitckmeakers as I call them, what Eisenhower called the “military-industrial complex,” when they were just the princes being turned into kings by the kingmakers. My great-uncle who was my surrogate grandfather was one of the kingmakers. All I can say about the kingmakers is forgive them for the knew not what they were doing. But then the kings don’t know what they are doing either. Daddy isn’t smartest light bulb. If he were, he would support Perry knowing it would cause a rift among Republicans and cause a stampede among many Democrats who would turn out in large numbers along with many Republicans to vote against Perry the way they did to vote against McCain. But, again, he isn’t the smartest light bulb. But then none of them are. Including his adopted children Bill and Hillary and Barack. But evil they are. All of them. Beleving in “dominionism” and oligarchy and the “Noble Lie” which isn’t noble at all. And is the medieval version of PT Barnum’s “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

      The dynasty of the Bushes, the Bakers, and the Candlestickmakers is collapsing. Along with the American empire. Unfortunately all the other empires are collapsing as well. Not much any of us can do I ‘m afraid but get some popcorn and enjoy the last of the show.

    • avatar Jody says:

      Mr. Wow,

      I concur with you. I always felt that Mr. Cheney came off as egotistical. He seems like he could sit comfortably among the CEO’s of Bank of America and Chase on a yacht, talking about “the little people”, and how lucky we are to have people like them taking over the world because we are too stupid to know what to do. I find ALL OF THEM obnoxious in a nauseating way.

      As for giving up on Obama…. No one should. I would like to remind people that there once was a time when every American did their “due diligence as an American” and backed their President, regardless of what their political views were. It’s a shame we can’t do that now.

      Status Quo is…. keep bashing the President (whomever it is). Is that working? No. So, the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result. I think that explains Americans and our politics right now. Can we PLEASE try something different? Early Americans never depended upon their government. Why? Because that’s called Socialism or Communism. Americans wanted Democracy back then. So, I suggest we get up off the coach (literally & figuratively) and start being the change we want to see.

      …. looking around…. quietly stepping off my soap box. Whoops. Sorry.

      Patriotically,
      Jody

      • avatar Baby Snooks says:

        I have given up on all of them. We will probably annihilate ourselves long before our enemies will even have the opportunity. We are, for lack of a better word, imploding.

        Benjamin Franklin predicted we would last 200 years. That is about how long it was before “Of the corporation, by the corporation, for the corporation” replaced “of the people, by the people, for the people.” Fed by greed.  Defended by this “military-industrial complex” that Eisenhower warned us about. I have thought about George W Bush’s comment yesterday in New York.  Comparing the victims of 9/11 to Civil War soldiers who sacrificed their lives for freedom. They sacrificed their lives for the egos of other men.  As did the victims of 9/11. We are all disposable. We the people. And will all be sacrificed as well without hesitation. 

        They all serve their masters. Not the people.  

    • avatar Barbara says:

      Not even a regret that he shot a friend in the face. The man is the epitome of evil in my book.

      • avatar Anais P says:

        Yes, indeed, Barbara, excellent detail to bring up! The man is pathologically arrogant, refusing to think he needs to atone for anything. He completely changed his mind about going into the Middle East from years before his vice-presidency. Why? Was it his heart medications or the millions from Halliburton when he left the corporation that changed his mind? He should be tried for war crimes, not celebrated on talk shows. “Epitome of evil” — you said it!

    • avatar Lila says:

      Mr. Wow, the very fact that Obama voted AGAINST the Iraq War bought him a lot of political goodwill from me, and still does. It showed that he had the smarts and/or ethics to recognize that it was not a good move.

  7. avatar Baby Snooks says:

    And I am the onoly one who took note of the fact that Osama bin Laden was living in Pakistan since 2005? He was probably living there in 2001. And traveling to the mountains for the “hoto-ops.” And may still be living there.  We can trust the Pakistanis to stay on top of their nuclear arsenal. After all, they stayed on top of where Osama bin Laden was, didn’t they? And of course they have the nuclear arsenal because of another Dr. Mengele named Dr. Khan. Who was wanted by Interpol for trading nuclear secrets. Until Daddy Bush pulled strings and he was allowed to return to Pakistan. To build bombs. Sooner or later the American people will wake up. Probably at the moment the bright white flash hits their retinas.

    • avatar Baby Snooks says:

      And I should add that WAS stupid. But then, well, we wanted Saddam Hussein to have weapons of mass destruction to kill the Iranians with. So who knows who the nukes in Pakistan were meant for.  Evil people usually are stupid. Which makes them all the more evil. And all the more dangerous. As for why everyone hates us so much, well, maybe they’re tired of being shot, gassed, and “shocked and wed.” And don’t really want to be nuked as well. And so might nuke us first.

      • avatar Jody says:

        Baby Snooks,

        I believe we say the same things.

        I don’t want to keep sitting here talking about it though. I want to take action and DO something about it. Why the hell are the masses so difficult to wake up? I think about 2% of the population actually gets what we are saying. It’s so frustrating and infuriating. Jody

      • avatar Baby Snooks says:

        The sad reality is most people don’t care and they don’t care because on some level they know it doesn’t matter to them. They will work themselves to death and be taxed to death while they work themselves to death. They do the best they can to provide what they can for their children and hope their children fare better than they did. Most either never voted or gave up voting when they realized it doesn’t matter. One reason why it doesn’t matter is because a majority of those who do vote do so on the basis of the little (D) or the litle (R) beside the name on the ballot and they know in the end that, as I like to say, the only Democrats and Republicans in this country are the fools who believe there are Democrats and Republicans on the ballot.  I honestly am about to join them, this majority who realize it doesn’t matter because they don’t matter.  I was promised hope and change. There is no change. And so there is no hope.

        People do wake up when they end up losing their jobs and their homes. But then they become homeless. And suddenly really no longer matter.  And of course they don’t vote.

        There used to be a voice of reason that balanced things out.  For the little people. The people on Main Street. That voice was hijacked by the Tea Party. Which started out on Main Street but ended up on Wall Street. And on the way to Wall Street it managed to attract every self-serving lunatic in this country, including the governor of Texas, and every group on Southern Poverty Law Center’s “Hate Watch” list.

        The Tea Party was founded on the anger of the American people but at this point has become the focus of the anger of the American people. But unfortunately most of them don’t vote. And those who do will vote their anger. And so in 2012 they will have “taken back” their country. Nazi Germany.  And that of course will wake everyone up. Although it will be too late.

  8. avatar Rho says:

    I definitely would want Hillary to run, I wanted her in the last election, now I want her even more.

    As for Mel Gibson?????  Oy Vey.

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Rho…

      I wanted her too, but…too late now.  And what would her presidency been like?  She was (is) much despised and feared by the Right and even some of the Left.  Listen, she was accused of murder–Lady Macbeth in  pants-suit.

  9. avatar joanne in jax says:

    Darth Vader (Cheney) is scheduled for a live interview tomorrow morning on “The View”, of all programs. I am dying to see the questions and reactions of my darling Whoopi and my favorite, Joy Behar. He would NEVER have appeared on that program during his time in office. It just goes to show you what a fame-whore (money-whore) he is, making a appearance solely for book sales. There is ice water running through that man’s veins, and he and his ilk are the source of my nightmares. True evil incarnate.

  10. avatar Lila says:

    At least Dr. Evil eventually helped Austin Powers save the world. Cheney – not so much.

  11. avatar Richard Bassett says:

    In 2012, Dick Chaney will be 61 years old….with five major heart attacks (thus far) under his belt. I just cannot look at legislature; I see all aspects of humanity. Sometime, very soon down the line, it will have to be decided whether a heart transplant will be effective in controlling his failing circulatory system. Whatever happened to stopping to smell the roses after coming close to death time and time again? And THAT was with the pressure of being a Vice (?) President. A Presidential election alone will only magnify the stress level he will have to endure. If this is how he wants to spend his remaining years… then how sad. We won’t see a 65 year old Dick Chaney unless some drastic measures are taken. Someone here mentioned his ‘heart’ medication. Well, that medication has a short window period if you look at the big picture. Spend some time appreciating the beauty of the geographic world. Not all tied up in stress. Now, as for Hillary…..

    • avatar Anais P says:

      Richard, Dick Cheney will be 71 in January, not 61. He was born in 1941. (I thought he looked a little old to be only 60 at this time …) I don’t think he is capable physically of running for President, but I also do not think he is capable psychologically of smelling the roses. He only appreciates power, not nature.

      • avatar Richard Bassett says:

        Thank you Anais for the correction….an important one. Men with his cardiac condition are encouraged to enjoy their lives (Their life expectancy is 75) and leave Washington to the 30-50 year olds who are not waking their pulse every morning.

    • avatar Mr. Wow says:

      Dear Richard…

      Let’s hope no drastic measures are taken for Dick Cheney. 

      MRW

      • avatar Richard Bassett says:

         I just (today) saw him on the The View. He is past heart failure. His life expectancy under his odds are four more years. Instead of letting him go peacefully (as Elizabeth Tayor did), they have some electro-magnetic device (battery operated) attached to his heart, and the entire things looks like something out of a computer. It isn’t even primarily for atrial fib (heart working too fast, like a pace maker), it is to keep his heart pumping at ALL! These medical advances never shock me (oh, yes…the device will shock Chaney’s heart when it stops) but the quality of life and the prioroties that one posesses should not be the pressures of running a country. If he was 40, and in the best of health….it would still be a strain on someone. He won’t run with this information behind him. And as for drastic measures? CPR won’t help his heart machines function or a ruptured aorta. It’s too late!

  12. avatar Katharine Gray says:

    What a lot of vitriol toward Dick Cheney.  I believe his comment about Hillary was in response to a question from an interviewer and not an unsolicited call to disaffected Democrats to abandon Obama.  I suppose he could have refrained from an opinion but he is not known for mincing words. Iyt

    There is the belief that he was the one in charge for eight years.  I don’t share that belief.  He did support strongly the Iraq war and is not remorseful about waterboarding three high placed Al Queda captives.  To some, that makes him Dr. Evil.  Now don’t get me wrong….I’m all in favor of Obama’s drone attacks which he boasts have killed all sorts of Al Queda bigwigs.  I’m just wondering how indiscriminately dropping drone bombs on *suspected* Al Queda and anyone else in the vicinity is morally superior to waterboarding 3 guys caught on the field of battle, one of whom was the mastermind of 9/11.  

    As for Baby Snooks and her obsession with the Bush family…I don’t know what to say.  Its obviously personal.  

     

    • avatar Baby Snooks says:

      You’re right. It is personal.  But our personal experiences with people do matter. Particularly when politics is involved. Peeking behind the curtain often gives you a better perspective of what is really going on behind the curtain. And very often instead of the silly old man pretending to be the Wizard of Oz you have Dr. Evil pretending to be the Wizard of Oz…

      I would point out you don’t see me praising Barack Obama. Or the Clintons. Evil is evil. And evil is as evil does as my grandmother put it.  And so I look at the does. And Barack Obama and the Clintons belong at Nuremberg along with the Bushes.

      I was horrified last night by the “Yes” screamed out by the Tea Baggers in response to the question of whether the uninsured should just be allowed to die. The country they want to “take back” is Nazi Germany.

    • avatar Baby Snooks says:

      And as for your defense of what happened at Guantanamo I would point out that they sent anyone and everyone with even the slightest connection to al Queda for “questioning” except for Princess Haifa who wrote checks which funded the hijackings on 9/11. She was allowed to return to Saudi Arabia along with her husband Prince Bandar, the Saudi ambassador to the United States for 22 years, which calls into question how serious everyone was, and is, about holding those who were involved accountable. Some obviously cannot be held accountable by them because then they would be held accountable as well. The Bushes, the Bakers, and the Candlestickmakers as I like to call them.

    • avatar Anais P says:

      Killing the enemy in time of war (the war on terror) is considered OK. Torturing a captured enemy combatant is not, according to the Geneva Convention accords Ronald Reagan signed. Several US interrogators have written op-eds saying torturing enemy combatants does not result in good information anyway. To me, this waterboarding (which is torture, I don’t care what Cheney calls it) diminished our former high moral standing in the eyes of the world.

      • avatar Lila says:

        Anais, you are spot on. I was disgusted with the twisted logic that led to the current use of Guantanamo – the idea was that the Constitution didn’t apply since it was technically not US soil. The Supreme Court later disagreed but nothing much changed, materially. A measure of how broken things are, and we HAVE lost our standing in the eyes of the world. Many shrug their shoulders now, but IT WILL MATTER in the future.

        I was also disgusted with the twisted logic that the Geneva Conventions did not apply (or that the insurgents were not covered by it). Wrong again. We are a signatory and MUST uphold the Conventions, and there is no one left “uncovered” by its protections (no matter what a few slimy lawyers say). If they are not combatants worthy of POW protections, then they are criminals to be turned over to local law enforcement. The fact that we find this inconvenient is not an excuse to ignore a treaty we have signed.

        And YES, waterboarding, “stress positions,” all of that – is torture.

        Here’s the test to see if what we are doing is right or wrong: if it were American soldiers getting this treatment in captivity, or US citizens getting this treatment by our enemies in a war zone – what would we say and do? We would be screaming bloody murder. Some of these same techniques and deplorable living conditions WERE inflicted by the Japanese on US soldiers and citizens and we held that up as an example of illegal, immoral, unfair, generally bad behavior in wartime. Now I guess we will have to hunt down all those old books and articles and burn them, lest we see ourselves in the mirror…

      • avatar Anais P says:

        Thank you, Lila, for bringing up all these excellent points. I do believe several Japanese troops were tried for waterboarding U.S. soldiers. One may have even been executed as a result, but I could be wrong.

      • avatar Baby Snooks says:

        When are people going to wake up in this country? This country was founded on the basic principle of the “rule of law.” The only “rule” at this point is that some are above the law. .

      • avatar Anais P says:

        Yes, which is exactly why Cheney and others should be tried for war crimes.

      • avatar Baby Snooks says:

        Should be but won’t be.  A decision made by Obama. Who of cousre at this point would be tried as well. And should be. But won’t be. And on it goes. On and on and on.

  13. avatar Rho says:

    Once again, I am asking why I can stay logged in here, but not on Liz’s new post today???  I want an answer!!!

  14. avatar Baby Snooks says:

    And now that I have recovered from Liz’s latest on Mel Gibson all I can say is that best way to avoid going to hell is to avoid those you know are headed there. And avoid their movies as well!

    • avatar wilowist says:

      Sometimes it is hard to tell which ones are hell-bent and which are not. Those in handbaskets should be avoided for sure.