Liz Smith: Lady Gaga Keeps a “Poker Face” About Tabloid Tales. Does She Have a Major “Little Monster?”

The Lady and her ill-gotten goods

And more from our Gossip Girl: Fashion’s Daphne Guinness talks … no more last meals … and the “rare” pics of Norma Jeane — not so rare!

“ONE SHOULD either be a work of art, or wear a work of art,” said Oscar Wilde.

* * *

Lady Gaga — who has certainly taken Oscar’s dictum to heart — is not the kind of celebrity we usually see in the gossip magazines. Gaga doesn’t seem to have much of a personal life to gossip about. She lives for her fans — her “little monsters,” as she affectionately refers to them.

She is famous for her songs, her wild outfits, her outspoken stance on matters such as civil rights for gays, or bullying. Unlike her predecessor and inspiration, Madonna — who was also famous for her songs, fashions and forward-thinking — Gaga is not living a rich, romantic, sex life.

So imagine my surprise to find Gaga on the cover of InTouch magazine, the home of Jennifer Aniston and of reality TV stars. There was Lady G. and there was the headline: “Gaga stole my man!!” The story inside asserts that the singer spotted one Taylor Kinney while shooting a video. She just had to have him, and eventually did, despite the fact that he was supposedly attached to another.  (Taylor appears in television’s “The Vampire Diaries.” That in itself might have turned Gaga on. Inspiration for a new set of outfits, fit for the undead?)

The guy’s ex-girlfriend is screaming that Gaga is a “homewrecker.” Oh, please. There was no “home” to wreck. They were dating. Stuff happens. And if the stuff happens to be Lady Gaga, that’s show biz.

If Gaga is getting it on with anybody, I’m glad. The girl needs a hobby. Her “little monsters” can’t keep her warm at night.

* * *

Daphne Guinness, the last of the red-hot fashion fanciers and latest New York girl-of-the instant, gave an interview to The New Yorker’s Rebecca Mead. In this chat, Daphne complained about the demands of fame and said she wished, sometimes, to be rendered invisible by her Alexander McQueen (and other fashionables) collection of costumes.

Ms. Guinness has platinum blonde locks on one part of her head and dyed black elsewhere, like Lady Gaga. She often wears futuristic Regency ruffles, Armadillo shoes, and resembles “a slightly deranged fairy.”

Reporter Mead remarks: “When it was suggested to her that all a woman of 43 need do to become invisible is to go without make-up, leave her hair uncolored and wear ordinary clothes, she (Daphne) grows wide-eyed, as if the idea of doing any such thing were inconceivable.”

Daphne Guinness boasts the Nazi-admirer Diana Mitford as her grandmother, has famous grand-aunts, English authors Jessica and Nancy Mitford, as well as Deborah, Duchess of Devonshire. She was wed to Spyros Niarchos when she was only 19 and has three children who live mostly with their father. Daphne and Spyros are divorced and, of course, she has formed a liaison with a married Frenchman who is, himself, rather well-known.

Daphne now has a show of her fashion sensibilities at the Fashion Institute of Technology in Manhattan.

So much for wishing to be invisible.

* * *

NOW THAT they’ve suddenly forbidden favorite last meals for those about to be executed, prison life has lost one of its charms.

When I read that a man in Texas had two chicken fried steaks as part of his last meal, I have to confess my mouth watered — but I resolved to stay off Death Row.

Maybe the fact that I am attempting to be funny about something so serious only means that I think and wish there were no such thing as the state taking revenge on criminals by putting them to death in the first place.

* * *

OVER THE weekend, the New York Times and some TV networks noted the ongoing, never-ending cultural obsession with Marilyn Monroe, including the coming “My Week With Marilyn” feature movie.

Other news outlets focused on the “new, rare, very first” modeling photos of MM, then known as Norma Jeane. The Daily News even put a radiant shot on its front page! Now, it is absurd to attempt to correct such things. She’s dead for nearly fifty years for heaven’s sake! But the reportage on the “new, rare … etc” did lead me to think on the more important matters of fact-checking and follow-up, which is fast and loose, these days. The fact is, these pictures of fresh-faced Norma are not new or rare — and are certainly not her first modeling session. The estates and families of David Conover (who actually discovered her working at a factory), Richard C. Miller and Andre de Dienes might take issue with the people peddling the late Joseph Jasgur’s pics of young MM. Another forgotten fact is that Jasgur actually put out a book, with many of these “unseen” photos, about ten years ago.

But everybody reported this admittedly minor story. Nobody asked a question, looked at a file of images, nada. Now, we won’t go to war over 19-year-old Norma Jeane Baker. But we did go to war because nobody asked a real question about WMD’s. Is it really so difficult to ask a question. About anything?!

P.S. When the above-mentioned David Conover spotted Norma in a Hollywood factory, he said, after taking a few shots of her working: “Do you have a sweater?” Norma Jeane answered: “Sure, I always have a sweater.” She put it on, went outside and smiled into the California sun. The rest was literally history.

9 comments so far.

  1. avatar lakers says:

    Thanks for explaining who Daphne Guinness is.  I have never heard of that woman.

    • avatar Baby Snooks says:

      You may have never heard of her but if you ever run into her you will never forget her.  Sort of a “high society” Lady Gaga…

  2. avatar Paul Smith says:

    You need only look to neighboring Connecticut and follow the Petit Murder Trial to know why states should exact revenge.

    • avatar Grace OMalley says:

      Sending you a high five on that Mr. Smith!  It’s just a shame they can only kill him once.  I wish they would tie both of those evil men to a bed and set them both alight.  I got my Bic lighter right here, ready to go!

      • avatar Baby Snooks says:

        There are cases that make us all cry out “an eye for an eye” but I still believe too many innocent people have been put to death in this country so I will remain firm in my conviction that we should join other civilized nations and ban the death penalty.

        I will forever boycott Georgia. But I also will never give a dime to The Innocence Project. Sorry but every time I see Barry Scheck I hear the words “if the glove don’t fit…”

    • avatar Anais P says:

      The Petit case, where Dr. Petit was an eyewitness and in fact a victim himself, was a far different case from that of Cameron Todd Willingham in Texas, where a so-called arson “expert” testified the fire that killed Willingham’s children was arson. The “expert’s” findings were later discredited and a jailhouse witness later recanted. Would you risk executing even ONE innocent man just because the community cries for vengeance? I for one would NOT. I think spending years and years in prison — the rest of one’s life — is a much greater punishment that spending a few years in prison, then being executed. Prison life is extremely difficult and NO picnic. And I do believe the Bible says, “Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord.” Are we a more savage society than the rest of the civilized world? YES, because we still have the death penalty.

  3. avatar Barbara says:

    Isn’t it interesting that the party that is so “pro life” is also so pro death penalty. The party that is so “anti death panels” cheers for the idea of an uninsured man dieing rather than getting health coverage. That these lovers of life will go ahead with an execution of someone that there are so many doubts about his guilt that people from around the world asked for another look at the case. Sorry to inject politics into your lighter column, but I am concerned about the direction this country is headed in.

    • avatar Anais P says:

      Well said, Ms. Barbara, and thank you for your comments. The United States has increasingly become less empathetic, less neighborly, less generous to others, less (if you are of that persuasion) CHRIST-like. Yet many of these folks you describe describe themselves as “born again.” “Born again” into what, selfishness? BTW, a man has come forward, offering to PAY for these last meals, and the state of Texas has said no to his offer. I know these people are convicted murderers, but Jesus himself forgave sins.

  4. avatar GretchenW says:

    The tabloids once again blew everything out of proportion and reported incorrectly. My daughter’s roommate is Taylor’s ex-girlfriend and she didn’t phone the tabloids. She is far too classy of a lady to ever do something like that. Someone she knows, however, obviously did phone them with the information and they somehow tracked her down from there and offered her $10K for an interview, which she turned down. Yes, Taylor broke her heart by the way the breakup happened, but I won’t go into details for privacy reasons. And yes, the headline was certainly ridiculous, I’m sure even she’ll admit. Enough said…let’s everyone get over it and move on now.