And more from our Gossip Girl: Smart chimps and dumb Texans
“TO KEEP your secret is wisdom; but to expect others to keep it is folly,” said Samuel Johnson.
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APPARENTLY Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz read their Johnson. The Oscar-winning Rachel and the movie’s 007 managed to wed in absolute peace, quiet and privacy over the weekend. They are reported to be “madly in love.” Well, I should hope so. Congrats!
Memo to all celebs. It can be done. It’s difficult, but privacy is possible. Just try not living your life in nightclubs on Sunset Boulevard. This means you, Lindsay.
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CASTING NOTE: Goods news for our favorite hot cop, Christopher Meloni. Now that he has forsaken his “Law & Order: SVU” anger issues; roughing up all those pervy perps, he has reportedly landed a role in the latest Superman re-make “Man of Steel.” Rumor has it he might play Perry White, the editor of the Daily Planet. Well, he will certainly be the hunkiest Perry White ever!
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SPEAKING OF superheroes, Ryan Reynolds might be back in that skintight bodysuit in a year or two. Even though “Green Lantern” has grossed “only” $118 million, there’s still franchise talk. These movies are grueling ordeals for the actors, but they can also set them up for life, financially. Mr. Reynolds is probably already set, but as the Sondheim song goes, “Nothing’s better than more!”
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TOMORROW NIGHT HBO’s Sheila Nevins will host the New York premiere of “Project Nim.” This documentary tells the story of a chimpanzee raised like a human child. Already acclaimed at the Sundance Film Festival, “Project Nim” is said to be a stunning work. Peggy Siegal has put the night together, so it’ll be star-packed and intellectually elevated.
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TWO TEXANS sitting in El Rio Grande restaurant in Manhattan, discussing the amazing possibility that off-the-wall Tea Party-ers and some Republicans might actually consider Governor Rick Perry of Texas as a viable presidential candidate:
First Transplanted Texan: “I can’t believe any sane person would want Rick Perry for dogcatcher, let alone for President. But he has that folksy good-old-boy charm of the last President Bush! You should have seen Rachel Maddow the other night talking about Perry and hoisting a giant slab of bologna, which she finally said represented all there is to know about Gov. Perry.”
Second Transplanted Texan: “Don’t worry. Perry is an outrageous fool and everybody knows it. Anyway, there are plenty of things in his past – let’s call them ‘character flaws’ – that would keep him from getting the nomination.”
First Transplanted Texan: “Are you kidding? So-called character flaws literally abound in Texas politicians. That’s why Texans have been able for years to dominate national politics and send John Nance Garner, Sam Rayburn, Lyndon Johnson, and two George Bushes to Washington where they resonated power! And don’t forget Karl Rove as the man behind the Bush scene.”
Well, I, Liz, have to ask how anyone can conceive of Rick Perry as President of the United States when only months ago he was talking about Texas seceding from the union! And now, some Texans are contemplating having a commemorative license plate extolling the Confederacy.
Actually, maybe Texans deserve the right to push the Confederacy since the Civil War only killed 620,000 Americans and its negative effects are unresolved to this day.
I was kind of half-wishing Texas would be allowed to secede. It was fun to imagine the Lone Star State waking up one day with no postal service, no system for raising taxes, no FBI, CIA or other federal agency to protect them, no standing army, or coast guard to help them, no Social Security checks arriving, no Medicare or Medicaid, no immigration officers at the border, no disaster relief available and hundreds of other federal services missing.
Hmmm … Texas, my Texas! This explains why that wonder woman from the New York Times, one Gail Collins, is now working on a book about the effect of Texas and Texans historically on the national scene.
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LAST WEEK I told you what Matt Taibbi wrote in Rolling Stone about Michele Bachmann, who is looking to be the Republican nominee for President next year. Over the weekend I watched Bachmann with Bob Schieffer on “Face The Nation.”
Well! She has been showing signs that she is no longer the crazy “Birther” Bachmann or the “Obama is anti-American” Bachmann for a while. But her chat with the well-respected Mr. Schieffer revealed at last the Bachman of her resume — highly educated, a lawyer and a slick, slick politician. No loony remarks, no Palin-like combativeness. Cool and modulated tones. She has mastered the great art of never answering a question. As with most politicians, “yes or no” is not in her vocabulary. She transformed Schieffer’s question about farm subsidies (she has a large farm) into how many limousines the Obama administration pays for. She scooted around her infamous list of “misleading” and downright untruthful statements by hitting Obama —“wasn’t he misleading when he said…etc.”
Schieffer, though he finally had to concede she had barely answered one question in a direct manner, is perhaps too much of a gentleman to be over-forceful with a lady. I hope future interviewers will … treat her like a man.