04/14/2009 9:40 am

Culture

13 Prison-Survival Tips for White-Collar Women of Wall Street

Founder of Wall Street Prison Consultants lays down the rules for getting out of prison alive when you're an affluent female -- such as Shana Madoff -- fearing stripes in your future.

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As speculation about the involvement of the niece of disgraced financier Bernard Madoff continues to make headlines, wowOwow reached out to Larry Levine, founder of Wall Street Prison Consultants, a firm that advises affluent bilkers who fear they’re heading to white-collar prison — commonly compared to day camp, but intimidating and scary nonetheless.

Rumored to be coaching Shana Madoff, niece of Bernie and former compliance lawyer of Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, Levine shared with wowOwow these 13 tips for what she and other aristocrats need to know so they can survive jail — and even get out early:

1) Respect your inmates.
2) Do not cut the line for food in the dining hall or to use the telephone.
3) Do not sit on someone’s bunk unless given permission.
4) Do not pick up someone’s personal property unless given permission.
5) When you are in the dining hall, do not reach across the table over someone’s tray.
6) Be wary of borrowing.
7) Do not become an informant (i.e., do not wear a rat jacket, or be labeled a snitch).
8) Do not spread lies or rumors about people.
9) Do not steal.
10) Do not stare at people. Do not "eye stalk." Get out of the habit of staring someone down. It can be considered confrontational.
11) Do not ask people about their case.
12) Do not go into consultant mode and act as someone’s mother or therapist. Worry only about yourself.
13) Have a documented history of alcohol or substance abuse — even if you don’t drink. A prisoner with a substance-abuse problem has the opportunity to participate in a substance-abuse program and prisoners who successfully complete the treatment may have the chance to be released early.

5 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

JudyK
If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.  For some reason that old saying popped into my head.  How can people not think of this when they are doing something illegal?  It should scare the socks off them to think about prison or does greed override it all.  Maybe they think they are above it but prison welcomes all classes of society.
By JudyK on 04/14/2009 11:48 am
LilaKuh

Y’know, the first twelve rules here are kind of common sense… but maybe these Wall Street types are just so high-and-mightily entitled that they need someone to tell them these things?

Personally, I think they might get the idea after a little education from their fellow inmates.

By LilaKuh on 04/14/2009 12:50 pm
LC4
These white collar thugs need to do hard time! .. I mean real hard time with all the nuances of prison life!
By LC4 on 04/14/2009 1:11 pm
BarbaraB3
Just reading the rules scarred me.  I think most people have a good dose of fear about breaking the law which keeps most of us on the straight & narrow.  Don’t be surprised if she skips the country, they better hurry up and get that braclet on her.  I also hope she does not have children, I hate to see innocent kids get hurt that way.  What greed does to people. OMG
By BarbaraB3 on 04/14/2009 1:29 pm
PamelaMunro
Didn’t these people go to summer camp?  Are they such egotists that they have to be reminded of what for the most part is considered to be common courtesy?  That says something about how distorted their world view has been & continues to be.
By PamelaMunro on 04/16/2009 5:11 pm