Candice Bergen | 06/10/2009 12:00 am

Candice Bergen's Story of a Stellar Individual

In response to: What inspiring story of overcoming adversity do you know?

My daughter has been working with severely handicapped children in Ethiopia for the last ten months and has seen ONLY tales of overcoming great adversity. Kids whose backs are bent over with spinal TB who are the top of their class. Kids who beg for their blind father and are possessed of stunning grace and dignity. I met lately the most vibrant, luminous young man who at age four was left for dead, machete wounds on his scalp, in a ditch in Rwanda. An American aid worker found him, brought him back to America and she and her husband adopted him. They live in Minnesota. He is a star ice hockey player. He just graduated college with a degree in health care. He is a stellar human being

Read more about: Adversity, Africa, Family, Inspiration, Relationships, Rwanda

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I work part-time with a young 21 year old girl from Ethiopia. She has a hard enough time coping with our language, and also the actions that are used at times in this country. I didn’t work last night, but a typical round of gossip between young adults getting passed from one to the other, with a fallout of a lot of hurt feelings, etc.

Tonight I was talking to her and she asked me why in this country, would somebody hurt another person by saying things behind their back or knowing by saying something, another would be sad? Her next question was, if you hurt somebody, who are you going to ask for help later if you have trouble? She said it makes her very sad. Sometimes it makes you stop and think, how those from other countries observing us, really think. She talks alot about her country and the people, culture, etc. Telling also of a group there who live with the hyenas, without fear between them. I love hearing what she has to say, and can only imagine, yet learned to understand through her, a different perspective than I had before.

By Linda Myers on 06/10/2009 12:34 am

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Ms. Bergen your family have been giving to the people of the world for decades. Your father made me laugh as a young child, and well your TV shows, movies, etc., it’s no wonder you have a daughter who is helping others of this less then perfect world.

So many want to turn a blind eye to what is going on in Africa, in the Rain Forest, the Polar Caps.

People who are celebirties reach more on this planet then the Web, News Papers, CNN, FOX, you get the point. People want to be like their favorite singer, actor, sports person, and they follow in the ways of those they look up to.

I’m proud to be an American, but I more proud that I like you raised my children to help others and be of service when service is needed.

Thank you for being you and for raising a Daughter who cares about others. People like her are going to help make the changes long over due.

By Deniseann Taylor on 06/10/2009 12:36 am

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I grew up living most of my childhood overseas. It was a very different life than that enjoyed by civilians. In the 50’s I heard first hand accounts of the death camps by survivors. We traveled through bombed areas not yet rebuilt from the war. Late at night people picked through the trash cans at the American housing because they had nothing. It made me very grateful for the things that I enjoyed.

The German survivors taught me another important lesson and that was not to fear but to keep hope for a better tomorrow. After visiting Dachau I asked older German friends how they kept their faith. They replied that without hope there was no possibility of a future. Seeing them laugh and enjoying life made me realize how blessed my own life would always be.

By Chris Glass` on 06/10/2009 10:21 am

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That’s very uplifting, Candy. And no surprise that your daughter is doing this kind of upstanding work. She had a great role model in you.

By James the Game on 06/10/2009 11:45 am

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That child was very lucky to be found and taken in by that aid worker. without her I am sure his story would have been a lot different. But on a personal note this story though great is also very heart breaking for me. I have come to beleive that the only way I can ever hope to get help for me and my granddaughter is if we lived in another country. I have helped build habitat houses; yet, I was TOO poor to qualify for one myself. I donated clothes to Goodwill and Salvation Army; yet, when my children outgrew everythng and I was too poor to spend even a quarter. I was told, "We take donations. We do not give handouts." Everyone says Welfare or churches as if they were a magic pill for the impoverished. They do not have a clue. The buck has been passed and passed justifying my being efectively nothinged nearly to death. I have spent twenty years desperately searching for help while what I had slowly wore out leaving my family with less and less. This is the price I have paid for getting hurt at work and then leaving an abusive husband. I would trade places with that four year old him in an instant. Twenty years of losing nearly everything while being treated as less than garbage while all around me society toots its horn about how kind and giving it is. Maybe so, maybe somewhere else. If I lived in Rhawanda then would someone care enough to actually do something?

By Christine Cline on 06/10/2009 7:02 pm

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Christine Cline, your story was heartbreaking. There have been times when I felt exactly as you do. There were a couple of times many years ago when I was laid off from job and did not find another job immediately . I remember going to an agency for temporary assistance. They assigned me to a program where I worked for my check . I was cheated out of a check. I left after that horrific experience. I consequently supported myself by doing temp work for several corporations before landing a full time job with good benefits.

I remember, going to another agency to apply for foodstamps. I had read an advertisement on the subway train stating you do not have to be on welfare to receive foodstamps. I went to inquire and learned I would have to subject myself to ongoing investigations, completing forms and interviews to qualify. I declined. I was informed my budget would be ten dollars bimonthly.

I have always played by the rules. I felt betrayed. I felt when I needed temporary assistance it was not there for me. I was a taxpaying citizen. Yet, others were coming from foreign countries having never invested in the system yet benefiting from housing, education, medicaid , foodstamps and financial aid . They were offered special programs. I am appalled that persons who have invested in the system are often the forgotten ones. Sometimes I hear new arrivals whether legal or illegal damning America while using her as their ATM machine. and singing the praises of their countries. How ungrateful!

The worse criminals when released from jail qualify for Public Assistance which includes financial, medicaid , education and housing assistance. There is something wrong with this picture!

I know things can get pretty tough and you cannot seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it’s there. Please do not give up! There are agencies and programs now available to offer assistance. Contact the Mayors office and the internet for information. Sadly, it often happens people will offer assistance to others before they offer it to those in need standing before their eyes. It reminds me of persons who run to foreign nations to adopt children when there are so many in need of homes in this country.

By L. C. on 06/10/2009 10:16 pm

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Thamk You L C. I am on assistance. That is why things are so bad. I get SSI for me and Welfare for my granddaughter. I also qualified last fall for $350.00 for my gas heating bills. I wish I could have had help for my electric bills instead. That is 3 to 5 times my gas bill. I also get about $7.00 a day food stamps for the both of us. And my rent bill is reduced. But the cost of living has risen astronomically in the past twenty years since I became disabled. Meanwhile Welfare has not given a single cost of living increase. SSI has; but, most of it gets deducted back out of the food stamp allotment. I can put a roof over our heads and some food in our stomaches. It is everything else that I am struggling with. People act as if that is enough; but, they fail to look around themselves in their own homes and see how much more is necessary to live. They fail to imagine an empty home. No clothes, shampoo, furniture, school supplies, etc. Yet without some of those things I just mentioned I would be in jail for neglect. I have not been on a vacation in 32 years. Most people think that is Ok. I should not wish for, muchless deserve such a thing when I am surviving on Welfare; yet, they themselves could not forgo their annual vacations. They say they are barely making it and just can not help. Then they pick up the phone and make the reservations for their vacation, go out to eat, go shopping, etc. I am pulling clothes out of the dumpster for me. I have no boots for this winter. Boots are the only closed shoes that I can wear because my feet are twisted due to my legs out of place due to my back badly out of place. Medicaid? Don’t even ask. It is a yes to you if you ask for me. But to me who will actually use it the roadblocks are insurmountable. Of course they won’t tell you about that. Grocery stores throw away food; but, if I ask for that food I am told no; because of the leagal ramifications should we get sick eating old food, better than we starve. If we starve that is our fault not the store’s. If you are caught taking clothes from in front of a Goodwill or Salvation Army when they are closed; because you are too poor to go in when they are open and buy it, you can go to jail for theft. Stores donate new clothes to Salvation Army, Goodwill, other thrift stores and programs for overseas people; but, will not give it to someone like me if we ask. The thrift stores will happily sell it to us; but, not give it away. If we are naked that is our own faults.The same is true of furniture. In some States you can not get food stamps if you do not have a stove to cook on. No one helps with appliances or furniture in most States. They do not help here. Most agencies and programs are a whole lot of nothing, regardless of what they tell the general public. Many of the ’real’ ones have either suffered massive cuts in the past twenty years or even closed. And last of all people forget the adults and parents. Schools serve lunches in the summer to children; but, not their parents. Do they really think that we would feed ourselves first? If our children are hungry then we are hungrier. I am sorry but I am so sick of hearing ‘agency’, ‘program’, ’church’, ‘Welfare’, ‘Social Security’, those are the words that justify slowly almost nothing us to death. Those are the words that justify our survival while the speaker would never be Willing to settle for less than living. Welfare is not a picnic. Well, maybe it is if you have no hopes no drive no goals or ambitions. Maybe if you do not mind watching life pass you by, if you do not mind being called names, treated as worse than the worst criminal maybe then Welfare is great. By some miracle I still have dreams. I still want to walk on a beach I still want to see my works proudly displayed in a prestigeous gallery. I still want to travel and meet people from all cultures. I still want to meet Oprah, Montel, Nelson Mandela and Whoopi Goldberg. I do not beleive in having heros. If I did beleive then my 19 year old daughter would be mine. But, I do think hightly of the people I mentioned. And though I have found those that say they are good and giving I do give. Even if it is in non-financial ways. And I will continue to even if I am the only person on the planet (and especially if) that does.

By Christine Cline on 06/11/2009 2:22 pm

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There is so much pain and misery in this country of ours. Yet we are a country full of freedoms.

Those of us that can, need to take each day and look for the opportunity and help someone. If only a smile, open a door, give a little cash to the person running short in front of you in line at the grocery store. There are times each day to help someone.

By Jessie Bowdoin on 06/11/2009 1:05 pm

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Many years ago someone once told me that each day he does a tiny little thing to make someone else’s day a little brighter. Just one tiny thing a day. He’s one of the happiest people I’ve ever met, so there’s obviously a good amount to his claim that giving is infinitely far more rewarding than receiving.

By Andrea Brandon on 06/11/2009 9:59 pm

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Giving is truely spectacular. However it seems that that is becoming the stock answer to justify not helping those that are in tremendous need. I hold doors open for people, pick up trash, help children and the elderly take out their garbage in my apartment complex. I am a smile and compliment millionaire. Yet; giving all of those things on a daily basis does not feed my granddaughter and me. It does not buy us clothes or furniture sorely needed or any of the other taken for granted household items. Even toilet paper is carefully rationed in our home. It does not provide us transportation and it especially is not doing anything to help me get my art, photography or poetry careers going. Let me tell you when you are hungrily eyeing the half eaten apple on the ground to have someone hand you a fresh one is at that moment heaven on earth.

By Christine Cline on 06/12/2009 7:10 am

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Christine Cline, you are more than blessed! … You are receiving assistance some people have nothing! … The people of Haiti are eating fried earth!

I was under the impression you had absolutely nothing! … I must apologize inadvance but you sound very ungrateful, demanding and greedy! … You have food and shelter! … There are lots of charities that give away free clothing! … Perhaps, you are not budgeting your money properly! … Did you say your grand is ninteen? … She can get a job to help out!

YOU WANT TO MEET OPRAH AND MONTEL ETC. ? … IT’S NOW BEGINNING TO SOUND AS THOUGH YOU’RE LOOKING FOR A PAYDAY! … Your post is beginning to sound like an open letter to these folk so that you can cash in!

You are an artist, photographer and poet? … You have only to put some energy and work into making these come alive! … Instead, you are bit—ing! … You appear to be looking for a free ride! … I am sickened by your self absorption! …You have a lot more than a lot of families being laid off jobs!

STOP LOOKING FOR OTHERS TO SUPPORT YOU! … THE SYSTEM HAS BEEN MORE THAN FAIR!

By L. C. on 06/16/2009 6:59 am

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There are food pantries. Learn to buy in bulk when you receive your money! … $14.00 per day will feed you and your granddaughter if you are not eating out at fast food chains! …You can create healthy meals!

Buy toilet paper and paper towels in bulk when on sale! … You can purchase bags of fruit (apples, oranges and bananas etc.) … You are full of excuses! … I have lots of ideas and will gladly share them! … I venture to say you do not want them! … You want Oprah to give you a new furnished home, food ,household supplies and toiletries for a lifetime! … Give it up the scam has been uncovered!

By L. C. on 06/16/2009 7:12 am