We still have a very long way to go and I think businesses and certain government agencies, both national and local, will have to be dragged kicking and screaming into making wise and necessary changes in the way they do business and provide services to taxpayers.  I retired early from public service as a secretary after over 30 years.  A major factor in that decision was my employer would not allow me to work a flexible schedule, and I was just really tired of the daily rat race involved in that.  I also feel there is a long way to go in how day care services are provided and the length of time parents can take to stay home with chileren….a year should be the minimum and come with compensation and the retention of health benefits.  Children deserve to be with parents during this critical time….careers can wait.  Family is most important when there are children involved.  I’m glad there’s been progress but there is a very long way to go at this point.

I wonder how many women in our nation actually feel more powerful, more confident and more content, given this shifting tide. My guess is that, overall, this nation of female breadwinners feels more stressed and overwhelmed than ever. Although, if this study helps put more attention on women’s issues (issues I feel passionate about), on national and local levels, perhaps this could be a good thing.

Susan Gabriel 

 

The career opportunities that have opened for women just in the past ten years have been amazing.  That is the very good news, but where does it leave the American family except in a state of stress?

When I was teaching in public school, the doors opened at 8:00 AM.  Like many other faculty members, I usually arrived around 7:00.  Standing outside, often in the dark and cold, were students.  These were young teens, too old to be dropped off at day care but too young to be left at an unsupervised bus stop.  So, their working parents brought them to a dark school, hoping some teacher would take them in until school started.. which we did. 

This scene plays out daily in some form or another. In many areas, they are still called " latch key" children.  Too old for day care but too young to be home alone for several hours until a parent arrives.  That is, however, precisely where they are while parents are working longer hours in today’s highly competitive work force.  It’s a recipe for trouble and heartache.  Our newspapers tell the tales.  A child found a gun.  A child played with matches. 

Yes, we have come a long way in offering community services and summer actvities for children while Mom and Dad are working. Many dedicated volunteers work at child oriented summer camps , church camps, and sporting camps. Non profits make the rounds during the summer months to monitor neighborhoods. Libraries have open doors.

For the most part, children are supervised by adults . Sadly, they spend little time during their formative years with their parents. 

There is no easy answer, but there must be a better way for this country to promote more family unity with quality time.  Do people really need to  be working from 7 to 7 ( or 8) PM each day?   Does 8 to 5 even exist anymore?

I did not see any mention in the article about the shifting of roles in the family household;  i.e.  the wife leaves each day to start her workday while the husband takes the unusual role of homemaker and caregiver to the children.  Is it possible that so many women have become breadwinners because there is no husband or male presence in the household?

The emphasis in the report appears to be about the professional women who have taken governing roles in corporate America.  That is well and good and certainly we are pleased to see the progress.  But what about the mothers who are in the workplace because of need….not for the double income but who are alone in raising their families.  Should American businesses start making special accommodations for the working mother?  Simple things ….hours off with pay to attend a parent/teacher conference?

A future America will look different to many of these children who spend so much time away from their parents.  It will not necessarily be a more sad or harsh America … but it will be different.

I’m semi-retired from the nonprofit agency where I’ve worked for 34+ years.  It’s one of several careers I’ve had and by far the best.  The compensation of men and women is based on the same salary schedule, and women are encouraged to seek advancement (I was the Director of Operations for many years, and our current CEO is female).  Our work is in the general area of health care.

My agency would like to take a more active role as a family friendly workplace.  However, our funding is based on a "fee-for-service" model.   When staff members are absent, their clients are not served or another staff member takes on a double workload.  If we were to offer a new parent or someone caring for an elderly relative a year of paid family leave, we would need to hire a replacement.  We would then be paying salaries plus benefits for two employees.  As a nonprofit, we simply could not survive financially.  I believe that more companies, nonprofits and even some for-profits, would be interested in establishing family-friendly policies if they could figure out how to do so and stay in business.

I started working part time in 1956 and entered the full-time workforce as a secretary (after graduating from one of the top universities in the U.S.) in 1958.  Back then, the career "choices" for most white-collar women were much more limited!  As opportunities for women expanded I changed fields, got an advanced degree and worked full time until 2002—I work 20 hours/week now.  I married but chose not to have children, so I didn’t personally experience the work/family conflicts that so many of today’s women face.  However, as a manager I sometimes had to make difficult decisions that adversely affected female staff.

I agree with other writers that we’ve come a long way—but have a long way to go—to reach gender equity and a system that works well for all families. 

 

So, a man’s happiness in his marriage is based on how much sex he gets.  40% of children born are born to unwed mothers.  Women now work full time and care for the home and elderly parents.  Children no longer have mom at home, they are raised by other adults in society.  Wow.  We have come a long way have we not? The family is crumbling in America and you can simply read the headlines to see the results of our folly.

I consider myself very blessed and I realize that I am, but I think that many women that work really don’t want to, they want to be home with their children.  But big houses, cars, clothes, vacations, etc. keep them working.  I know many mothers at home with large families that make great sacrifices to raise their children.  I also realize that there are many single mothers that are phenomenal and have to work to provide for their children.  

When, please when will the world consider it work when a woman remains home to care for her family?  I see a trend now since I have a daughter graduating from college.  She feels called to be a married woman staying at home to raise her children, but feels the pressure in society that it is a waste after she just spent all that money on an education.  I look at her and admire her greatly, she is truly smart in the heart more than the head.  I know that some woman have to work to support their families and we should help them in society and strive to give them equal pay.  But I think we are going too far overall with women being able to do it all.  Are they really successful when their children are in daycare all day and their parents in nursing homes?  I read another article that stated that women have never been more unhappy.  I know why. 

Call me crazy, but I am planning on going back to work in two years, after my last child heads off to college.  Believe it or not, he still likes to come home to me in the house at the end of his school day.  I am there to listen and guide, something that no one else can really do since I know him best.  And he tells me how much he appreciates me being home.  Believe me when I tell you, teens need as much guidance as younger kids.

Of course men don’t object to their wives working.  Why would they when they have more income and really don’t kick in with the housework, childcare, and cooking at home.  We’ve made their lives easier.    I am thankful I have a husband that has seen the fruit of a stay at home mom and I love him for his support in a society that questions it. 

Also, as a stay at home mom, I am able to volunteer a great deal of my time to organizations that cannot afford to hire.  Many women that stay home are truly a benefit to so many organizations that need their help.

When I am on my deathbed, I hope it will be peaceful with no regrets.  Especially regrets that I could have spent more time with the people I love most in this world.  I spent years in the workforce before having my first child. Thoughts of those days will fade into nonexistence compared to the time I have spent at home. 

Female friendly practices that I believe (KNOW!)would make a world of difference and guarantee women a chance at a greater range of careers and better pay:

—Flex time.  Flex time.  Flex time.

—Ability to work from home and outside "regular" hours.  Technology and networking innovation makes this quite doable and realistic.  (Example:  My doctor who has two small children will respond to patient emails from her home or her laptop.  She spent an hour on the phone with me one evening after her kids and mine were in bed.  We problem solved the next step in my care.  Think I’ll ever switch to another doctor now? NEVER.  Think she loves her job? YES.) 

—Constant assessment of how heirarchies are handled at work, with a commitment to "team" structures as much as possible.   Often the best ideas often come from the "lower ranked" individuals.  (Ask administrative assistants!)  Don’t get stuck in narrow job definitions.  Acknowledge who does the actual work.  

—Full disclosure of the salaries of everyone at the work place.   (Lilly Ledbetter is great example of the price women pay when salaries are kept hidden.)   This forces a constant assessment of what labor is really worth and reinforces a team environment.  No special deals get cut for individuals.  No ancient, illogical pay practices survive. 

—Sabbatical leave for employees who have served a minimum number of years.   Give six weeks to a year off, depending on the company.  As the employee to write a plan of what she or he would do on leave.  Take a class?  Work on an exercise plan?  Travel?    Respect your employee’s mind and need to rejuvenate and re-educate.  You can deal with a whole lot of job pressure if you know your sabbatical is coming.  You return to work with greater perspective and creativity if you have been away.  

—Commitment to fair pay for all employees.  Jobs historically "female" (facilitator, instructor, caregiver) are the juice that keeps a work place functioning.  Acknowledge it.  Collectively decide what its worth.  Pay for it.  Just because women did it for free or peanuts "in the bad old days" doesn’t mean it should be for peanuts now.

—Ongoing commitment to helping employees articulate what they do, what they’ve learned, and where they want to go in terms of their own development and the company’s.   We’re happiest when we feel we’re moving forward, even if we’re staying in the same location.  If we "morph" with a successful business, its a win/win for everyone.  If we move on, we’ve got an incredible resume to show for it. 

—Finally: Try whenever possible to locate the business in a place where  most employees can walk, ride a bike, or take public transit to work from home.  If that’s not possible, let it be in a location in which good, affordable housing is plentiful and drive times short for those willing to live nearby.  Most of us would rather have a dinky workplace and a tiny cube if it means no commute (thus more time for family and other activities and maybe one less vehicle to own and tend—that’s a huge leap in unoffical salary right there).     People are generally happiest when working in the community in which they live, for so many logical reasons.  

I say these are women-friendly practices, but men would benefit from practices like this, too, including my own spouse (and co-parent) and my male friends without children, who do have aging parents and partners AND like many women want a job that promotes creativity, respect and productiving for their workers over the long haul. 

Kat, your response was terrific. I loved your suggestions, particularly the idea of sabbatical leave for long-term employees and flex-time, as well as the idea of working from home. These are ideas that benefit everyone. The chance to take a solid block of time off with pay to re-charge is a wonderful opportunity for employees to grow in many ways. In Europe, vacation time is usually far more generous than in the States, where we have adopted a culture of long work-days and for most people two or MAYBE three weeks of vacation/personal days. I wish we could somehow see the benefit of the Euro-style, but barring that, the sabbatical is a fabulous idea.

I took a kind of sabbatical some years back. It was actually a health-related disability leave of three months following some surgery. The first few weeks were not much fun, but as I gradually started feeling better and more energetic, I used this sabbatical to work on some projects for my job, coming up with many ideas I was able to bring to the table when I returned. Plus, I read, wrote and meditated every day, and as my physical strength returned, so did my creative energies. A sabbatical would produce the same impact, I think. Employees could volunteer in local organizations, travel, do research, take a course - the possibilities are limitless. And coming back to the workplace refreshed and filled with creativity is a win-win!

Flex time is so essential that it is amazing that we still have to "sell" it to employers. Another great concept is the idea of "job-sharing". Two people who are looking for part-time work agree to share one available full-time position. This can be tricky, as they will have to employ team strategy ALL the way, but again, the benefit is that two points of view, two active minds and two creative approaches can yield enormous benefits. Working from home is a blessing, too. Without constant interruptions, phones ringing, colleagues "just poking my head in to say hi" at crucial moments, one can get a LOT done. (I used this option several times during the latter part of my administrative career - mostly to write reports where I knew I had to concentrate and work to a deadline.)

I think Kat’s suggestion about continual evaluation of the hierarchy is also a vitally important concept. Yes, women make up half the work-force, and more women than ever have risen to positions of authority and power - hooray! But we have a long way to go before we can say there is a true equality. And many of the inequalities are embedded in the labyrinthine corridors of the corporate, academic or organizational hierarchy. On a regular basis, every business entity needs to take a long, dispassionate look at the actual structure of their management structure. There are always pockets of inefficiencies, little protected fiefdoms, odd reporting structures and other inequities that need to be "tweaked" and made more workable. And providing equal access to professional recognition, promotion from within, and equity in salaries and benefits is far from being a 50/50 proposition, I’m afraid.

I’d like to end by saying how I admire Maria Shriver for her work in this area. I look forward to reading the entire report, and I commend her for taking the discussion of women in the world to a new level. We need both the yin and the yang in life if the world is to be harmonious, and clearly we need to extend this in the workplace. Men and women working together can accomplish much, complement one another’s styles and attitudes, and more accurately reflect culture and society. To accomplish this, perhaps some small changes - and some large ones as well - must be carried out. Creating "…a job that promotes creativity, respect and productivity…", as Kat says, IS within our power, and it will be women who bring about the greatest movement toward this goal.

Sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same.  We still have a lot of kinks to work out but we are making some progress.  Some women want to have a career -and family including a husband.  It seems sometimes we still have the stay at home mom versus the working mom.  I think it is a choice and some parents do it better than others. 

Women with higher incomes can hire  outside assistance which makes it easier. 

Woman make choices.