101 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment
Sometimes I feel like life in general is going to completely swamp me and then I check in here and see others with so much more to deal with and wonder why I let the little things get to me so often. For those of you who are going through some really bad patches, I offer this suggestion…I have a friend who is probably the most positive person around. When I get to feeling low, I call her and we talk for a while and laugh over silly things and today I’m picking her up from work and we’re going to grab a quick lunch during her lunch break. I always feel better after talking with her and I must try to remember to tell her today how much I appreciate her. I am such a believer in the power of positive thinking!
My mother-in-law died about three weeks ago and I’m finding I’m having more trouble with this than I ever thought I would. To say that we weren’t the best of friends is putting it kindly, so I sort of expected a feeling of relief when her time came - she was a very unhappy 94 when she died. I’m coming to believe, though, that my problems in adjusting center around never being able to reach a happy report with her, no matter how I tried. I still expect the crisis phone call every time the phone rings and still dread to check my voice mail for the same reason. Strange what we do to our selves, huh?
Well, I’m off to have a stiff helping of positiveness and wish the same for all of you.
My kids are my biggest stressor I think. I have 4 between teh ages of 19 and 26. that’s just a tough time in peoples lives anyway usually. but a couple of the kids have some extra baggage to deal with. stuff that scares me. emotional and physical problems. One of my daughters recently had a lap band surgery. she’s been very heavy since she was very young. when she got to 300 lbs we all decided that this was a life or death thing and went for it. But it is still scary. she recently had her hair falling out… side effects from not getting proper nutrients. the band is a lot of WORK. it isn’t an easy answer. one of the kids is in the military… that’s obvious stress for a parent. and the two oldest are really really struggling with trying to grow up. so ya… it’s my kids for sure.
My stress is relating to health issues in my family.
Mostly mental health and not much help available for the one that needs it most. No matter our age or our own health conditions we do not stop being a wife and a mother.
I must add that I am a born worrier. When will I leave that behind?
Jeannot,
Worry gives you nothing positive……….the only return on worrying is negativity.
I never worry……..I do have genuine concern when problems arise. I ask myself if I personally
have the power to change anything. If my answer is Yes, I go about doing what I can to make a change. If the answer
is NO……..I let it go.
I can guarantee you if I hadn’t had this attitude I would never have survived all the trauma life
has thrown my way.
You know it’s like the difference between Sadness and Depression
Sadness is a normal healthy emotion…………Depression is an abnormal mental disease.
I think we use the word Depression so lightly…………..If we’re SAD………….just feel it!
Work hard not to let it slip into a depression………….I know it’s not easy. I’ve been both places.
Be good to yourself.
Lily, Which ones? Starting optional $3T wars? Having sex on your boss’s desk? Hedge funding your way into a $30M Hampton’s ‘beach cottage’ leaving a trail of broken lives behind? Staying in a downy bed for the rainy weekend with stacks chick flicks, bottles of champage, boxes of Godiva? Being freeway overpass tagger? Take away the excesses and there’d be no comedy or tragedy…or isms and not much art.
Suzanne, these youtube moments caused my heart to soar….and that dolphin just turned it inside out!! I do love animals and all wildlife and so glad that you included that. I hope that you are continuing to enjoy your visit and was totally impressed with your 18 mile walk. You have imspired me and I continue to send you much love and happiness to guide you through in your present journey. Cheers to you…..
WORTHY
The walk was long from whence I came
Bruised from sorrow, heartache, and shame.
Still I forged ahead in pain.
The lonesome dark and dreaded night,
Left me trapped in need of flight,
Where gloom eclipsed my weary fight.
In knowing that my need was just.
To bear the ache and need of touch,
To give that which I owned so much.
Yet left alone, how great my need,
I cried out, reached, and then was freed.
Not by love returned or shared,
Not by tender hands which cared.
Not by embrace I dreamed would come,
Not by the touch of any one.
So up I rose to find and see,
The love I own to carry me.
To know at last that worthy is,
The road I’ll walk until finally,
I’ll yield and claim what I can be,
When inner love will set me free.
Maizie Lucille James
July 1998
Excerpts from: PATHWAYS by Maizie Lucille James
INNERVOICES
Inner voices
Restless thoughts
Desires yet fulfilled.
Secret dreams of carnal pleasures;
Lust… erotic thrills.
Grand ambitions, aspirations
In search of fame and power.
To become the best at SOMETHING!
To have a grandeur hour.
Yet duties claim me; obligations
Wretched boring tasks.
Dreadful, dreary daily pressures
Entrapped and bound unmasked.
How disheartening to surrender,
Dreams of secret passion.
That to grasp, take hold of pleasure,
Like thieves, for frugal rations?
For still those somber inner voices
Shout out, in stark disdain,
Life is mostly bound to duty!
Not pleasures, play, nor fame.
While hope directs us to believing
The gifts that joy might bring
Recognize in truth … that also,
Life’s joy gives birth to pain.
Thus, Inner voices
Those grand delusions
Though reluctant, Acquiesce.
That duties burden forever bounds us
To those our daily tasks.
Maizie Lucille James
May 1978
_______________________________________
VANITY
How pompous we are when we put on false airs
How trite we become covering up dark affairs
We make every effort to hide from our sins
We shamefully dismiss our woes deep within
Our faults we attempt to cover up with great speed
And we’ll go to great lengths to shun our misdeeds
We resist to make known all the wrong that we do
No matter how frequent; no matter how true
Yet we all have our problems, heartache, and strife
For there is no place to run to when we all must face life
If we were to strip down to the depths of our core
We’ll find that our faults are like opening a door
Disbelief then becomes a harsh blow to face
Revealed, we deny that we’ve stooped to disgrace
While we’d like to believe the good which we’ve done
We can’t forgive hurts which we can’t overcome
So we put up defenses to gloss over our shame
And we manage to paste a smile on our pain
Pride then becomes an immutable truth
We practice it daily; indeed from our youth
For it is fool hearted believing that perfection exists
Because we all make mistakes and problems persist
Yet when honest we come to accept who we are
We then get through life with boast and with scar
And no matter how good or content we might be
The walk in our life comes with hushed vanity
November 2002
Maizie Lucille James
___________________________________________
DEATHWISH
‘I wish I was dead…’
Is what the voice said
I heard it again in my head.
‘I wish I was dead…’
‘I wish I was dead…’
Through hushed murmurs
Is all that was said.
When suddenly over a period of time
The cry out for death became loud.
And answered it was,
That voice in my head
Through another voice bellowing loud.
‘Die, Die!!…’
‘Go on and Die!’…
You’re almost dead anyway.
You died when you stopped wanting to love
Ah! Forsaken by others, you say.
Yes, ‘Die, Die!…’
You’re better off dead,
Than seeking self pity…
Be Shamed!
For to live,
You must be willing to give
And to let YOU,
Love YOURSELF, once again.
Maize Lucille James
March 1977
_______________________________________
WHATISTHISTHINGCALLEDDEATH
What is this thing called death?
That people should mourn.
Shivering at a burial site,
Dressed in Black; Yes, dressed in black.
In black, no less. In Black!
The ritual so distressing:
Bowed heads with wrinkled brows
Widows hidden behind dark lace.
Teardrops trickling down the face.
In sobbing cry they moan out loud.
They moan out loud, no less.
And the script calls for certain parts to be played:
And they play their parts so well.
No rehearsal here; one performance.
And they play their roles no less.
And they play it well.
A lifeless body on display.
A … ‘special loved one’… they all will say
‘Cherished, but now he’s gone’….
Then in perfect unison they mourn,
They mourn, no less; they mourn.
What is this thing call death?
That people should mourn.
Such silly acts played out so well…
Ironic too it seems to me.
Why, at death ‘tis time to sing!
For until we die, our souls are trapped
With the burdens and torment in living
When at last in death, are our souls then let free
Transcend in glee with rejoicing!!
Death is the door where we all will take flight
No matter the time: at dawn, noon, or night.
Cast away burdens, heart ache, despair
Why death voids our duties, anguish and care.
What is this thing called death?
That people should mourn!
Then. Mourn no more. But shout with glee…
In endless sleep a spirit set free!
In peace; no less. In peace.
Maizie Lucille James
Winter, 1972
Today - on this thread - I think we all find it has been the most uplifting bits and thoughts and help — but it is telling those with tearing pain that they are not alone … that in this wonderful world of WOW, we are all sisters under the skin and we all care.
For those - and there are many - when the days and months right now are “too much”, I find the best thing you can do is to write it out here —- as the support we receive - to be honest - is far better and more inclusive than what we receive outside the site. YOu know I am right in that.
I believe that you should never never hold these emotions in — and tears are more than acceptable — they are imperative as they are a form of release, allowing us to face yet another day. But as I wrote on the first page, I think that conversations — I personally like the phone as it prevents a “scene” in public with a friend — conversations with the few each of us have as TRUE friends, friends who will listen, be there commiserate, and sometimes say the words that allow us the first baby steps beyond the sad moments.
Perhaps, this site’s highest calling really is allowing the openness and “spilling” and caring we do always for others. I think for all of us who are always there for others - that we feel your heart’s pain and we ARE there for you. Each of us is different — and grief and sadness predictably take their own time and cannot be rushed — and we cannot say “tomorrow will be better” for often it is anything but. But for as many times as you get the words out, go over it, you KNOW that you have people here who understand and WILL listen and respond.
Do you know? Each of us has been given a blessing that we have found this place —it is a miracle!
Dear Joan,
Thank you for your wonderful words of friendship!! You’ve made my day … feeling welcomed here on woOw among the many talented women and men who contribute to this site.
And yes. “Each of us has been given a blessing that we have found this place —it is a miracle!”
101 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment