The entire idea of remaining with the same partner for a lifetime being mandatory was based on two things. First, people only lived to be 35 years old. Second, women were property, and essentially had no choice, until the married women’s property act, in who they would marry or partner with. (Of course I’ve always been amused that the “wither thou goest” portion often used in marriage ceremonies is the promise from the Book of Ruth of one woman to another.) The concept of “cheating” based in this language is not responsive to the true needs and lives of 21st century women. If you lived in the 19th century you might well only meet one person “who was clean and didn’t drink,” as one friend described her parents’ marriage. Now, it’s entirely possible to meet several soulmates over a lifetime. I certainly have. And, of course, marriage was an economic institution, based on the same legal documents as slavehold and indentured servitude — “to have and to hold from this day forth” was property rights. While there are very real consequences of “cheating,” i.e., lying to your partner(s), one would think it is at least time to rethink institutions based on the property hold of women and these short lifespans.

who has the time? one is enough work - lol

No, as I’m afraid of all those nasty germs and am also a lousy liar.

Oh, Anne Krieg. I feel as though you are me. And Tommi Carrot, I can’t lie either.

I’ve known my husband for 20 years and he is my soul mate. I wouldn’t jeopardize that because I wanted action and I can’t hurt the one person in life who who “sees” me. I also don’t need much ego stroking since my husband does that well enough.

This is a lot like the would you stay with your husband poll. Cheating has broad definitions and also it’s hard to say what one would or would not do. My hubby has a good friend who is a woman and I don’t have a problem with that relationship. OTOH, a girlfriend of his from high school wrote to him and even though I trust him and he shared the e-mail with me, I did say that was a little beyond my comfort level. Some old male friends of mine have contacted me and because I would think my husband would feel the same, I answer politely and encourage nothing. They go away.

I was painfully divorced due to adultery on my partner’s part. Cheating is not for me….never did, never will. The hurt and turmoil for everyone involved is too much to ‘weight’ to have on my mind. If the relationship was dying, I would honour the past (remember that he/she was once your favourite person on the planet!) and look for closure. Then I could move on without all the turmoil……and with the joy that a new relationship can bring.

Two husbands, two cheated. The first big time and was gone when I found out. Second one is a good man, had a short-lived dalliance that he doesn’t know that I know about. It’s way in the past now and it’s otherwise been a good marriage and going strong after 25 years. There’s a bit of sorrow still lurking around inside from both events, but overall I grew from both.

Amazing how the only women who are replying have “never, ever cheated”!!! So for the rest you scarlet woman, I’ll bring the wine, you choose the place and let’s talk. I also happen to be happily married. Sometimes things just happen. We actually aren’t all that different from men if we are being HONEST!

Had I not divorced, we’d be married 46 years, now, but as challenging as our life with him could be, I never thought of cheating - I was ‘invited’ to wander but my self-esteem is in place in that regard. Besides, if I was having problems with one man, why try for two? He took every shred of energy available.

I’ve been married 29 years and while I an attracted to other men, I would never do anything to hurt him or us. Never really wanted to cross that line. I like being faithful. It wouldn’t be worth it.

Married at 18 and to a child, I foolishly found in the course of 35 years a few like minded souls~ A sick and unhappy marriage ended in a divorce wanted and put forth by me a stubborn “I can make it work” strong woman and it also put a stop to his many, many “friends” and to my humiliation~ He liked the fact of the others and knew about them and wanted to know all of what ever happened to me with them~ I lied and never told the truth, even then he wanted to control..foolish man~ Peace of mind, safety, my age and happiness with myself have me at a stage where I no longer care about the opposite sex in that way. I am not dead mind you, I still like to look and often think that I wasted my best and most beautiful years on the wrong person. Most of the time, right now and how I am with many changes in my body and health, I think that I am the best that I can or ever will be and have so much to give..just not sure I want to give it and to who for gods sake? I am so willing to say what is on my mind and the word “asshole” does not a boyfiend make in most cases. Gosh I really need to write a little tell all, names changed to protect the innocent and the bad in bed~

i find that a three-way tends to solve this issue