Style | 07/23/2008 12:00 am

An Illustrated Guide to Flirting After 40

Photo Essay

Read more about: Beauty, Judith Sills, Liza Donnelly, Relationships, Sex

28 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

I don’t know. I sure don’t ever want to be known as an “easy make”. That did not go over when we were young, and I just don’t think things in our age group have changed that much. Besides, an easy smile and eye contact make anyone feel comfortable with another person. I say, do what comes naturally….be yourself.

By Diana T on 07/23/2008 12:22 am

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Diana—that could never happen to you—you have too much class, lady

By Frank Peterson on 07/23/2008 12:24 pm

Thank you, Frank; perhaps there aren’t any classy single men in the Lexington area? One wonders why, in 10 years, I have only been asked out maybe 4 times. Everyone knows I ‘m ready for some kind of relationship now. And, please, no match.com; that was a fiasco! In this area, it is a vast wasteland, comically so!

By Diana T on 07/23/2008 1:16 pm

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Well were in in that area—you’d have no worries on dating —as for match.com et al. no way., :-)

By Frank Peterson on 07/23/2008 1:20 pm

Jeez Frank you’re being awfully forward today— *whacks self upside the head* :)

By Frank Peterson on 07/23/2008 1:35 pm

Hi, Diana! I got your message and cut and pasted it to my Diana file. Yeah, I have different files, I have Mugsy file and the Lily file and Phyl file and Deni, Beth Willis and a couple of others …. when I find a poem or when I find that someone has said something profound I cut and paste into the appropriate file to ponder later. This site moves fast … and I am a little slow on the uptake … that is the reason for the files guys … nothing else. The files help me to understand or enjoy the comments later on!

By Blue Circle Girl on 07/23/2008 4:41 pm

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Good idea, Blue! That is such a good idea. I am going to go gather all the poetry that was posted today and figure out how to download it so I can take it to my bedroom and read it.

By Diana T on 07/24/2008 9:25 pm

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D.T., it’s such a time/location issue nowadays. I’ve heard that you can meet people in grocery stores, but I’m not going to stand around feeling out tomatoes and squeezing the Charmin all day hoping someone other than the janitor bumps into me. I tried the dating thing, and I felt like bringing along a resume, because that was the first thing out of many of the women’s mouths: “Where do you work? How much do you make?” If they’re going to compare bank accounts, I’m not going to be the pick of the litter.

By James the Game on 09/12/2008 9:41 am

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I wish women were more assertive, or I was! I notice they look a lot, but seem much more afraid to approach nowadays than 20-some years ago, at least where I live. My problem is shyness around women I’m attracted to. I need to have the ice broken very gently, then I’m fine, outgoing, talkative. Many people I know don’t believe I’m shy, because I have a booming voice, and very outgoing/amiable most of the time. My long-time friend, Susan, has seen it in me, though, and she says it’s “very endearing”. But, for me, the loneliness that stems from not having a companion for so long is quite painful.

By James the Game on 09/12/2008 9:38 am

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I think it’s very similar for men and women both. I also disagree with my friends that think that they have to be connected to someone to be “complete”. My thinking is that we have to accept ourselves as we are, authentic, pursue our interests and not worry about it. I simply quit “trying”. Also, think about the difference between Being Alone and Lonelieness, and don’t let yourself be a victim. Solitude is a wonderful thing, and there is nothing lonlier than a failed relationship. Believe me, I know that even though I get tired of going everywhere by myself and not being able to share, I’d still rather be in control of my atmosphere at home. I’ve had it both ways, and in this house, peace prevails. Eleanor Roosevelt: Do something every day that scares you….

By Diana T on 09/12/2008 10:23 am

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THE LAST SEDUCTION Slowly, so very slowly, he scanned the room With an eagle’s eye and lighted upon His victim for the evening. She was standing By the open balcony pressed against The tall columns that separated the interior room From the exterior entry Poised with a drink That she put to her mouth but wasn’t apparently Drinking since the liquid appeared Not to diminish. May I get you another drink? I have one, thank you. I can see that, but you’re not drinking it, are you? She studied him for moments without answering, Then set her drink on a small side table, Took his arm and led him onto the balcony. He was halfway there—halfway in— And he wondered how it had been so easy. 2002

By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 07/23/2008 9:01 am

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Wonderful Phyllis! I can just envision it all!

By Maurine H on 07/23/2008 9:53 am

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Phyllis: lovely—now turn the gender around,replace he with she and vice-versa. It will still ring true. :-)

By Frank Peterson on 07/23/2008 10:58 am

Thank you––but the point is HE thinks he is the seducer, but SHE’s the one who made it happen by doing what smart, beautiful women have always done––being in the right place at the right time and positioning herself in such a way as to catch her prey. Intrigue always works much better than throwing chocolates or throwing out obsequious compliments.

By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 07/23/2008 12:47 pm