Question of the Day | 05/07/2009 11:00 pm

Is Elizabeth Edwards making a mistake by staying with husband John? Where do you stand on post-affair reconciliation?

Candice Bergen, Liz Smith and Joan Ganz Cooney share their thoughts. Would you stand by your man? Join the conversation …

Liz Smith | 05/07/2009 11:00 pm

Liz Smith: Elizabeth Edwards 'Made Her Own Big Ethical Mistake'

Who knows if Elizabeth Edwards made a mistake sticking with that bum? That’s entirely up to her.

Where she made her own big ethical mistake is to allow him to go on running for the presidency after he’d revealed his "affair" to her. She was enabling him to prevail while lying, cheating and being a potential scandal for American voters who believed in him. And her current book is a disgrace. I feel sorry for her heartbreak and her illness, but not to the extent that (1) she enabled him to go on being a public fraud in trying for the highest office in the land, and (2) she blames the "other woman" for enticing him into the affair as if he had no willpower and no responsibility for his own actions.

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Joan Ganz Cooney | 05/07/2009 11:00 pm

Joan Ganz Cooney Understands Some of Elizabeth Edwards's Decisions

I don’t know if Elizabeth Edwards is making a mistake staying with her husband because it’s impossible to know how much pain she is in after learning of the affair. She is seriously ill and has two young children so it is understandable that she might be reluctant to ask him to move out. However, I think she is making a mistake writing a book about the affair and publicizing it. She must really hate him to decide to be so publicly punitive. And it’s got to be an embarrassment to their children, particularly their grown daughter. I would have preferred that they work their marriage problems out in private.

13 Comments

Candice Bergen | 05/08/2009 7:00 am

Candice Bergen on Edwards Affair

I have to say I agree with Joan on Elizabeth Edwards. The woman has terminal cancer for Christ’s sake and three kids and has been married to someone she describes as a good man for many years. The sleaze in this is, of course, John, but Rielle Hunter — who came up with that ridiculous name herself by the bye; her name used to be something entirely other and she gives women a black eye. We all know the type, they make your hair go all weird and your teeth chatter. They are utterly amoral, without a shred of conscience and tough as tacks. But I seem to have veered off message here. I also, like Joan, question her writing a book but till I read some of it, I’ll hold off on blathering on about it. She is a remarkable woman and I am very sorry she has had so much to endure. Including a husband who is dumb enough to be sucked in by an ambitious cooze.

32 Comments

124 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

The most alone I have ever been was when I was in a marriage with a cheating husband.

By MK P on 05/08/2009 8:09 am

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MK P…excellent point!

By Libra Lady on 05/08/2009 8:18 am

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For some they are alone even when they are with someone in person…I am not sure why she has chosen to stay…for me it would be a tough question. I truly am IN LOVE with my husband and I trust him 100%, if he cheated on me it would send shock waves through our whole being…some women expect it of their husbands, I do not. We were apart 8 months while he was in Iraq and neither one of us cheated so why would he do it now? Elizabeth seemed to know in her heart that he would eventually cheat on her…which is really sad that you would have to live your life wondering when it was going to happen.

I have never been one to go for married men but I have had friends who were and they are no longer friends of mine…I dont think this lady sought out a relationship with John but took it when it was handed to her.

Whatever works for them, it is their decision.

By C Hardy on 05/08/2009 10:40 am

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I agree completely, C Hardy — one should never judge why a woman makes the choices she does. Which also extends to Reille Hunter and judging her choices. I’m with you, I doubt she sought a relationship with him (as he tells the story) — but, rather (for whatever reason) he sought one with her.

By MK P on 05/08/2009 1:10 pm

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Edwards didn’t just start his philandering, I’m certain of that. He’s not the only politician that can’t keep their trousers zipped, but his heartless behavior is too much to give him any more public exposure (no pun intended).

By C jay on 05/09/2009 2:37 am

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I just have to say, these are some of the best comments I’ve read on this site. Everybody have shown a great deal of empathy for the Edwards family. Thanks ppl.

By Cheryl Mitchell on 05/08/2009 8:18 am

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Peace and love to everyone involved. Let’s take care of our own bedrooms and stay out of others.

By central coast cabin home on 05/08/2009 8:25 am

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Why should Elizabeth Edwards throw away a life she built with this man simply as a matter of principle or pride (i.e. divorcing the cheater) . No, my guess is that she has decided that he will pay in other ways, like this book, and the public admonishment of his behavior and his mistress.. She is a very intelligent woman and the truth is that she would be a great office holder herself. My hope for Elizabeth Edwards (beside good health) is that someone in the current Administration realizes how valuable she could be and utilizes her talents to beneift this country. Perhaps a high profile job in women’s health?

By fiona two on 05/08/2009 8:41 am

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Fiona, Elizabeth is very ill.

By C jay on 05/09/2009 2:38 am

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Although each case is unique, people with her type and stage of cancer have been known to live for quite some time [ten or more years]. Her cancer is not curable, but it is treatable.

By Andrea Brandon on 05/09/2009 7:11 pm

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Although I think it was our business when he chose to run for President, I agree that it really is not at this point. On the other hand, she’s kind of making it our business by writing the book and appearing on Oprah.

Even though I am no longer a blushing bride, I don’t think I could continue in a marriage like this. I do concede that we never know how we will react until we are confronted with a situation, however.

I do feel a certain amount of sympathy for Elizabeth Edwards, given her health issues and the loss of their oldest child (I don’t one ever recovers fully from that). Also they have young children to think of. But I don’t see airing the family’s dirty laundry in public as being all that healthy for them either.

I agree with her that Rielle Hunter is despicable. But that in no way gives her husband a pass. Just because someone comes on to you doesn’t mean you are obligated to respond. And, seriously, he’s not that hot.

By Deena B. on 05/08/2009 8:48 am

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I have long been an admirer and supporter of Elizabeth, I have walked in her moccasins in many ways. I hope she will make the right decision for herself and the youngest children. She has a terminal illness that, with no cure in sight, will take her much to early, and she rightly has to decide how best to make her children’s future more stable etc. HOWEVER…the writing of this book disturbs me very much. It feels icky to me. What is the motivation?? She doesn’t need money, the family will be well cared for, it seems sick that she is so blatantly humiliating him in a very public way and yet continues to share a home and life with him . He is obviously squirming in the glare of the spotlight, the other woman is having a stick poked through her cage, the oldest daughter can certainly read the book and the little ones will have access in later years, perhaps as teens when they are most vulnerable . As Central Coast Cabin said, we all should pay attention to our own bedrooms, but damn, she is shoving it under our noses and inviting us in….I hope she finds what she is looking for..she is a formidable lady and I just want her to have peace and comfort in whatever time she has left on the planet.

By Ravenwing .. on 05/08/2009 8:51 am

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It’s their business and their choice/decision as to how and where their marriage goes from here. It’s a humiliating experience for a wife to deal with and she has courage to deal with it publicly coupled with her health problems and children to raise.

As MK P said and I have been there too, the loneliest I have ever been, is living with a cheating husband. The Hunter female (aptly named) is quoted as not wanting a DNA test to prove the paternity of the child and there’s probably a real good reason for that. That’s not letting John Edwards off the hook-he did a terrible hurtful thing to his wife and family, but then, the alley cat Hunter had probably done this sort of thing before. There are many women like her.

By JJ GB on 05/08/2009 8:58 am

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It’s hard to say what she should do in her situation, not being there. But if ever a guy deserved to be dumped, it’s that dude. I mean, he couldn’t have turned his back on her anymore than if he’d turned her back - and stuck a knife in it.

By James the Game on 05/08/2009 9:10 am