Editor’s Note: A longtime journalist, Margo Howard went into the family business (her mother was the fabled Ann Landers) in the 1990s as Dear Prudence. Her broad experience and understanding of human nature provide answers for the troubled — and entertainment for everyone else. Margo’s advice column, Dear Margo, appears twice a week — on Thursdays and Fridays — on wowOwow.com.

I probably shouldn’t be talking about dish when we have Liz Smith as one of our homeys, but I can’t help myself. The “essay” (well, OK, the running off at the mouth) by Levi Johnston in Vanity Fair had no real surprises for me, but perhaps some other people will be, if not surprised, then disappointed. (Helllloooo, Walter.)

I do believe Johnston was in a position to know whereof he spoke. Plus I think he’s too dumb to make things up. Intentionally or not, he made the Palins sound like the Beverly Hillbillies with snow in their yard.

Even the way they chose names for their children was, let us say, unusual. Bristol and Levi’s baby, Tripp, was given the middle names of “Easton Mitchell” – the “Easton” being Levi’s “favorite hockey equipment company.” (Look, there could be an endorsement deal down the road, who knows?) And Sarah and Todd’s newest baby, Trig, has as his middle names “Paxson Van”; the “Paxson” being Todd’s favorite place to snow machine and the “Van” preceding Palin is to honor Van Halen. Get it, Van Palin?

As who wouldn’t, Levi says Sarah loved the designer clothes, the hair and makeup people and room service. After all of this McCain-Palin whoop-de-do happened, being governor really seemed like a lot of work. It must have been quite stressful because Levi said Sarah would come home sometimes at noon and watch home decorating and wedding shows. (In her Walmart pajamas, which she had in every color.)

Then there is the perception of Sure Shot Sarah. Levi says she didn’t know much about guns. (There was a new one in a box under her bed that she didn’t understand too well, so she asked Levi what was up with that.) Forget all the moose carrying on, this makes shooting wolves from an airplane suspect, at best, but might redeem her with the PETA people.

Governor and Mr. Palin did not share a bedroom, we are told. Because sometimes when Todd was spending the night in his recliner in the living room,  Levi was on the sofa, so he was able to vouch for the fact that Todd did not snore, thereby eliminating that from the possible reasons he did not share a bedroom with the governor. Levi muses that, given the sleeping arrangements, it was surprising to him that Sarah even got pregnant.

Gracefully saying he’s sure his almost-mother-in-law was joking, he relates that she would come home, see Trig and Tripp together and say, “I don’t want the retarded baby, I want the other one.” He also reports  there was quite a bit of fighting and a lot of talk about divorce. It would not surprise me if, now, since Vanity Fair has hit the street, there might even be talk of homicide.