Margo Howard | 09/08/2009 4:00 am

Margo Howard: Move Over, Levi Strauss

Editor’s Note: A longtime journalist, Margo Howard went into the family business (her mother was the fabled Ann Landers) in the 1990s as Dear Prudence. Her broad experience and understanding of human nature provide answers for the troubled — and entertainment for everyone else. Margo’s advice column, Dear Margo, appears twice a week — on Thursdays and Fridays — on wowOwow.com.

I probably shouldn’t be talking about dish when we have Liz Smith as one of our homeys, but I can’t help myself. The “essay” (well, OK, the running off at the mouth) by Levi Johnston in Vanity Fair had no real surprises for me, but perhaps some other people will be, if not surprised, then disappointed. (Helllloooo, Walter.)

I do believe Johnston was in a position to know whereof he spoke. Plus I think he’s too dumb to make things up. Intentionally or not, he made the Palins sound like the Beverly Hillbillies with snow in their yard.

Even the way they chose names for their children was, let us say, unusual. Bristol and Levi’s baby, Tripp, was given the middle names of “Easton Mitchell” – the “Easton” being Levi’s “favorite hockey equipment company.” (Look, there could be an endorsement deal down the road, who knows?) And Sarah and Todd’s newest baby, Trig, has as his middle names “Paxson Van”; the “Paxson” being Todd’s favorite place to snow machine and the “Van” preceding Palin is to honor Van Halen. Get it, Van Palin?

As who wouldn’t, Levi says Sarah loved the designer clothes, the hair and makeup people and room service. After all of this McCain-Palin whoop-de-do happened, being governor really seemed like a lot of work. It must have been quite stressful because Levi said Sarah would come home sometimes at noon and watch home decorating and wedding shows. (In her Walmart pajamas, which she had in every color.)

Then there is the perception of Sure Shot Sarah. Levi says she didn’t know much about guns. (There was a new one in a box under her bed that she didn’t understand too well, so she asked Levi what was up with that.) Forget all the moose carrying on, this makes shooting wolves from an airplane suspect, at best, but might redeem her with the PETA people.

Governor and Mr. Palin did not share a bedroom, we are told. Because sometimes when Todd was spending the night in his recliner in the living room, Levi was on the sofa, so he was able to vouch for the fact that Todd did not snore, thereby eliminating that from the possible reasons he did not share a bedroom with the governor. Levi muses that, given the sleeping arrangements, it was surprising to him that Sarah even got pregnant.

Gracefully saying he’s sure his almost-mother-in-law was joking, he relates that she would come home, see Trig and Tripp together and say, “I don’t want the retarded baby, I want the other one.” He also reports there was quite a bit of fighting and a lot of talk about divorce. It would not surprise me if, now, since Vanity Fair has hit the street, there might even be talk of homicide.

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I’ve read every comment on this particular opinion piece that Margo wrote and thought I’d add my two cents on a few of the topics brought up here.

About Sarah herself: Attractive? Yeah, I guess. Smart? That’s relative. Annoying? Absolutely! She’s also a quitter. I don’t care what the circumstances were behind her quitting — she took an oath and failed to uphold her end of it. I will bet dollars to donuts right now that if (and that’s a BIG if) she ever becomes president (God help us all), she will most likely quit before her term is over. She definitely has established a pattern…

About Obama’s so-called "socialist plan": Why is it some people only seem to be for "Socialism" when it benefits them? Social Security, welfare, public education, municipalities, police, fire departments, the entire 911 system, etc. are all socialist programs that benefit everyone. Our military, to a degree, is also socialist. Yes, it is a volunteer military, but it is paid for by the government. If the some people are so worried about socialism, then they can give up all these programs and let the people who want them use them. Too many people think that socialism = communism. That is just not true. Obviously, by the examples I’ve listed, I believe that socialism can exist in a capitalist society.

As far as welfare goes, yes, there are many, many people who take advantage of the system and yes, it is flawed. But there are a lot of people out there who actually use the system to get back on their feet. My sister raised two young sons (4 & 6) after her divorce (without any emotional or financial support from her ex), worked nights and put herself through college. Without the benefit of some welfare support, she probably would not have made it. It was just enough for her to make ends meet. She now has a degree in Environmental Science and works for the state of Arizona and her two sons are college graduates as well.

About Obama’s health care plan: There never was and never will be a death panel! Palin and others have a nasty habit of using scare tactics to get their way. My mother was a hospice nurse for 10 years and my father had hospice care for his last days. Anyone who has ever been involved in hospice care knows that counseling is part of it. Obama’s plan would require that Medicare pay for end-of-life counseling. However (everyone pay attention here), it DOES NOT require that anyone go through end-of-life counseling. If you don’t want to talk to your doctor about end-of-life care, you don’t have to. It just requires that IF (that’s IF, folks!) you decide that you WANT to go through end-of-life counseling, Medicare has to pay for it. Get it?

I just had to laugh about the uproar that was made about Obama’s speech to the school kids. They were so afraid he was going to "push his agenda" on to them and "brain wash" them. The nerve of that man telling them to stay in school and get an education. And studying? What the hell is he trying to do to those fragile little minds by telling them to study? My God, the horror of it all! I have to give credit where credit is due — some people have a great knack for making the biggest mountains out of the tiniest molehills.

Lastly, Levi Johnston is an ass and an opportunist. That said, part of me believes a lot of what he says about the Palin’s. But I just get a feeling he may have had a few juicy tidbits and made them juicier by embellishing a little. Just a feeling I have, anyway. I would find it very hard to believe that he could spend that much time with that family and not come away with something.

I do find it amusing as well that Margo is writing an OPINION piece, yet she is berated at every turn. The same people who criticize her every single time she writes an opinion piece seem to lurk in the wings just waiting to pounce on her. Sure she can fend for herself and has done so admirably, but I have yet to see why you people think she deserves to be so beat up every time she expresses an OPINION. You can disagree with her opinion and have your own opinion, but please be nice and civil about it.

By Catherine Schulte on 09/09/2009 8:22 pm

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I have to say I agree with you on every point.

What my 6 year twins (boy & girl) took from the Obama speech: Italics Me: What did President Obama say today? Both: "stay is school the country needs you to do so. Girl: It will fall apart if you don’t. Boy: You must stay is school and study hard. Me: Why? Boy: You have to get a good job. Or else an asteroid might hit the earth & we will all die. (!!!!) LMAO. A discussion then ensued about how we need astronauts to counter the steroids. You know blow them out of the sky if they approach. Then it digressed into fire & death. Can’t say what they learned at school today, but they both put on their papers they both wanted to be astronauts & drew pictures of themselves as astronauts. . I think I missed something here. They had a sub…

By Lym BO on 09/09/2009 9:01 pm

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Catherine,

Many of us would have loved to opt out of social security, medicare and public education years ago. Let us keep the money we earn and spend it as we see fit. I am more than capable of providing for my retirement and knowing what education model or particular school most benefits my child. At the same time we recognize the value of and do not mind paying for a national defense, or police and emergency services.

I also don’t mind welfare for people exactly like your sister! She needed help to get on her feet and became self-sufficient as a result. I have the utmost respect for that. I do not have an ounce of respect for the generations in some families whose career is welfare.

By Leigh Hart on 09/09/2009 9:53 pm

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Catherine,

I forgot to ask you a question before I clicked submit. If the rumor is true that Hillary Clinton will step down as Secretary of State to run for NY Governor, will that make her a quitter, too?

By Leigh Hart on 09/09/2009 9:59 pm

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Honestly, if she quits mid-term, then yes, it does. If she waits until the end of the four years and then waits for the opportunity to come up again, then no, it wouldn’t. On the other hand (and here’s where I’m on the fence about this), if she quits mid-term for a very specific reason like running for governor, I would be more accepting than if she had quit for no apparent reason or that the job was "too tough". Because Palin never specifically said WHY she was quitting (there has only been speculation so far), we can only read the signs she put out there herself. I think the reason WHY someone quits has a lot to do with peoples’ reaction. Running for another office is a lot better than quitting for no reason.

By Catherine Schulte on 09/10/2009 7:42 am

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Catherine, Thanks for the thoughtful answer. I’m of the opinion that should Hillary quit as rumored she’s simply self-absorbed and doing whatever she believes will give her another shot at the presidency. Nothing new there. How is being governor or NY more important than being the Secretary of State? She would be exiting off an international stage, as well. Personally, I find this far more interesting than Sarah Palin who is currently a citizen just like you and me. Hillary has the power to shape our foreign policy, something that affects us on a daily and more importantly, long term basis.

So Margo, since you’re Levi piece dealt with rumor, how about weighing in on the rumor about Hil?

By Leigh Hart on 09/10/2009 7:58 am

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I would find it very hard to believe that he could spend that much time with that family and not come away with something.>

He did, hon. A baby!

By Margo Howard on 09/09/2009 10:12 pm

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Dirt, sister! I meant dirt! But yeah, I kind of did forget about that! ;-)

By Catherine Schulte on 09/10/2009 7:43 am

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Catherine, I applaud you for an outstanding post! You hit the nail on the head in every paragraph. My bottom line is this: Sarah Palin deliberately made up a lie intended to upset people, simply to keep her name in everyone’s head. She can’t be trusted to be a cool, calm leader who will stay the course. Anyone who believes in her abilities is sadly mistaken.

By Dana Pulley on 09/10/2009 5:36 am

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I’m sorry. Are there people who sincerely believe this woman is going to run for President or any other political office? She is about as well-respected as Ziggy. Maybe some are less intuitive than others, but all this gal has left is the money she can generate in the media circus. And here we are contributing. Almost as bad as the poor, confused soul with the moniker "OctoMom".

By Lym BO on 09/09/2009 9:14 pm

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Congratulations Margo, You really know how to stir things up. I love it.

By katywon LA.. on 09/09/2009 10:53 pm

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Pretty soon the WOW of this site is going to be short for, "WOW, I can’t believe it’s yet another repetitive commenting-fest on Sarah Palin." I’d ignore them altogether, but I get e-mail updates on Margo’s contributions and comments (which I genuinely enjoy), and these inane, "What else you got!" debates occasionally find their way through. Sarah Palin’s a grown woman who chose to go into politics. If she can shrug off the bulk of the rumors, why are people with no actual relationship with her getting so worked up? She’s not your girlfriend, you don’t know her; please, please, please let it go already. BTW, I feel the same way when people freak out over digs at Obama.

By Jon Schweizer on 09/09/2009 11:17 pm