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Margo Howard | 07/01/2009 8:25 am

Whatever Happened to Discretion?

Margo Howard unleashes on disgraced governor Mark Sanford — and goes into ‘Dear Margo’ mode to provide the South Carolina politician with some advice.
Margo Howard

Editor’s Note: A longtime journalist, Margo Howard went into the family business (her mother was the fabled Ann Landers) in the 1990s as Dear Prudence. Her broad experience and understanding of human nature provide answers for the troubled — and entertainment for everyone else. Margo’s advice column, Dear Margo, appears twice a week — on Thursdays and Fridays — on wowOwow.com.

What’s up with Gov. Mark Sanford? I cannot remember another public confession so loaded with detail. It’s as though he were a "sinner" looking for forgiveness, and we are Oprah. Sanford is making John Edwards’s stonewalling look positively admirable. (You know … it was only one night and the baby isn’t his.)

I heard a reporter from South Carolina saying on NPR that the governor apparently “wanted to talk." I’ll say. We learned the Argentinean bombshell was his "soul mate," that he "had crossed the line before" — but "not the sex line" — on trips out of  the country to unwind with the boys. He went public with this tidbit: "This was a whole lot more than a simple affair. This was a love story."

However … let’s hear it for the little woman. Three cheers for Jenny Sanford who threw him out. How refreshing to see a political wife act like a woman instead of some humiliated helpmate who is often trying to save a political career. No Silda or Hillary she, in effect saying to the public: "If I don’t care, why should you?"

I am trying really hard not to entertain feelings of schadenfreude about love-struck dude being yet another one in a long conga line of Republican moralists who are caught with, well, their pants down. I am frankly embarrassed for the guy. How much more dignified to have sought out a therapist if he had the need to spill? In one of his confessionals he said he had blown up his career, his marriage and the lives of his children. So: what next? Putting on my advice columnist hat I would recommend that he move to Argentina to be with Chapur and become a gaucho, or something. And also that he sit down and shut up.

513 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

MK P
Last para cracked me up RJB — good one!   =)
By MK P on 07/02/2009 3:06 pm
Lady Gator

R J B Reed - Last sentence — Yep Clinton sat on MY couch in MY White house and let Monica Lewinski suck his privates.  That couch belongs to the people of the United States and so does the White House.  We, the people are the owners.  At least that’s the way I’ve always thought.  I pay the taxes.  So do you.  If you think what I said is kinky - so be it!  I really don’t give a darn!

I am a straight white,  woman married to a white straight man for 48 years and we have a wonderful traditional marriage.  It has been an incredible marriage.  It works very well.  Out family values have been handed down to our daughter.  So, as you can see, there are differences in our lives.  As far as your’re not being able to adopt a child because of your sexual orientation - check into another state.  Not all states have that law.  I’m sorry  that your find it insulting that your state does not allow you to adopt.  Maybe you could check with Foster Parenting.  Sometimes after you have had a child in your home for a certain time period your state might re-consider.  It’s been done in other states.

As far as which party sleeps around the most - not much difference.  They all seem to be "Randy Andy’s". 

 

By Lady Gator on 07/02/2009 7:26 pm
Irish Eyes NY
OMG: rjb reed: TMI, TMI, how disgusting. Can you keep your private affairs private, please??
By Irish Eyes NY on 07/02/2009 8:30 pm
R.J.B. Reed

TMI?  I’ve told you my sexual orientation and nothing else.  Why is that disgusting?  After all, I have to listen to the blather of a myriad of straight folks without ever batting an eye.  So no, I am not going to keep who I am private.  I will not fill anyone in on specific details, but when it comes to a question about "traditional values", I’m not going to lie about who I am.

Grow up.

By R.J.B. Reed on 07/02/2009 10:56 pm
MK P

Thank you, RJB for your honesty.   What you shared was in no way disgusting and you have as much right to share information about your marriage and lifestyle as anyone else on this board.   It is amazing to me that some people want to live with their head in the sand and cannot accept the fact that there is a diversity of lifestyles in this country.   They would prefer to legislate their "traditional" life style on everyone…………..

By MK P on 07/03/2009 7:15 am
MK P
Irish Eyes — can you save your hate filled rhetoric for your "wonderful" husband.   If you can’t stand diversity of lifestyles and opinions — you really need to do something else with your time besides read messges on this board.  
By MK P on 07/03/2009 7:17 am
Irish Eyes NY

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOh, my "wonderful husband". Your absolutely correct.

Do I sense a hint of jealousy???????????

By Irish Eyes NY on 07/03/2009 9:19 am
MK P

What you sensed, Irish Eyes, was sarcasm………..but, as usual, it went right over your head……..

By MK P on 07/04/2009 7:24 am
Tina Walden
deber B, Margo kicked that door open because the GOP touts themselves as the party of moral values.  The democrats do not, and they also admit that when someone in office is caught with misbehavior it is their own failing not the party’s.  Since the republican’s wrapped themselves up as the only party with moral values, when one of them falls from the path it hurts their credibility. These boards are so busy accusing one party or the other that they forget that this is an issue about the Gov and whether he left his state without knowledge of his where abouts and how to contact him.  For that he should resign.  The damage he did to his marriage and family is personal not political; that said I am glad his wife chose not to stand beside him.  Other wives may stand by their husbands (maybe as I did in my marriage) because they said for "better or worse".  Some of us believe that even when things were at their worsed.
By Tina Walden on 07/01/2009 8:51 pm
Carol Palinkas

I beg to differ. Sanford lied about how many times he had been with this woman. He lied about being holier than thou with Larry Craig and others who weren’t living up to his idea of upstanding Christian values. How the hell do you know what was going on in Hillary’s mind while this was going on? Humiliation is humiliation, and Hillary does not deserve armchair critique simply because you disagree with her politics. And, as has been previously noted, it wasn’t so much the affair as the total hypocrisy over all these Republicans falling over themselves pointing their fingers at Democratic sinners while they themselves can’t seem to stop themselves from getting caught in far more interesting positions. It’s almost as if God is tossing out a little instant karma there.

By Carol Palinkas on 07/01/2009 10:52 am
deber B
Please, Carol, both Clinton and Sanford lied.   So what?   Democrats and republicans all have affairs and some get caught.   Jenny Sanford was clear in her reaction, "Move out."   Hillary Clinton, as everyone knows, couldn’t tell Bill Clinton to "move out" now could she?    He was the President of the United States.   Her choice was to stay in and in doing so further her political career.   What else would she have done?   She is now Secretary of State.   Case closed.
By deber B on 07/01/2009 11:31 am
James the Game
They’re all creeps for cheating, regarding of which side of the political aisle (or wedding aisle) they fall on.
By James the Game on 07/01/2009 8:37 pm
Libra Lady
James…a man of great words….and so very true!!! 
By Libra Lady on 07/01/2009 9:11 pm
deber B
James, that has been my entire point.   It’s not just a "conga line of republicans."
By deber B on 07/02/2009 6:54 am
beth willis

Oh, my, deber B, Sanford was in deed caught in a lie of huge proportions.  He left his state, his constituents with no elected official holding the authoriy to make decisions for the people.  His wife did not know where he was should anything happen to his sons.  While on a commerce trip to Brazil, he requested that his areas of interest had suddenly expanded to Argentina; thus, using his constituents’ money.  Yes, Governor Sanford was otherwisw engaged.  Well, at least dating.

 Clinton’s behaviour with Lewinsky, to me, is disgusting.  Hillary earned her opportunity to seek her own place in American leadership. Jenny Sanford can afford to be stronly independent; she’s the one with the money. Cinton paid for his lie; he was almost impeached, but our elected officials followed a different course.  I do not second guess them.  Nor did I applaud Craig, Foley, Ensign, Vitter, Edwards, Spitzer  when they were ‘caught’, all revealing violations of their own moral codes, but some darked their character even more with a big pile of hypocracy.

Please understand this conversation is all about these people, not you and me.

Peace and grace

 

 

By beth willis on 07/01/2009 12:13 pm