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Margo Howard | 07/01/2009 8:25 am

Whatever Happened to Discretion?

Margo Howard unleashes on disgraced governor Mark Sanford — and goes into ‘Dear Margo’ mode to provide the South Carolina politician with some advice.
Margo Howard

Editor’s Note: A longtime journalist, Margo Howard went into the family business (her mother was the fabled Ann Landers) in the 1990s as Dear Prudence. Her broad experience and understanding of human nature provide answers for the troubled — and entertainment for everyone else. Margo’s advice column, Dear Margo, appears twice a week — on Thursdays and Fridays — on wowOwow.com.

What’s up with Gov. Mark Sanford? I cannot remember another public confession so loaded with detail. It’s as though he were a "sinner" looking for forgiveness, and we are Oprah. Sanford is making John Edwards’s stonewalling look positively admirable. (You know … it was only one night and the baby isn’t his.)

I heard a reporter from South Carolina saying on NPR that the governor apparently “wanted to talk." I’ll say. We learned the Argentinean bombshell was his "soul mate," that he "had crossed the line before" — but "not the sex line" — on trips out of  the country to unwind with the boys. He went public with this tidbit: "This was a whole lot more than a simple affair. This was a love story."

However … let’s hear it for the little woman. Three cheers for Jenny Sanford who threw him out. How refreshing to see a political wife act like a woman instead of some humiliated helpmate who is often trying to save a political career. No Silda or Hillary she, in effect saying to the public: "If I don’t care, why should you?"

I am trying really hard not to entertain feelings of schadenfreude about love-struck dude being yet another one in a long conga line of Republican moralists who are caught with, well, their pants down. I am frankly embarrassed for the guy. How much more dignified to have sought out a therapist if he had the need to spill? In one of his confessionals he said he had blown up his career, his marriage and the lives of his children. So: what next? Putting on my advice columnist hat I would recommend that he move to Argentina to be with Chapur and become a gaucho, or something. And also that he sit down and shut up.

513 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

deber B
He is a scumbag….we agree on that.   What I am taking issue with is that it has become a political party affiliation issue and it shouldn’t.   He is a man who has cheated on his wife….period.   That’s where the story begins. 
By deber B on 07/01/2009 9:15 am
Maia Haines

Not ‘period’, deber B. He’s also a hypocrite and a self-serving liar. Why is it so hard for people like you to utilize logic? If Sanford had never held his holier-than-thou attitude and crucified everyone else because of it then, sure, you could say this was just a matter of a cheating hubby. But instead this reveals true hypocrisy, a guy who talked the talk and never walked the walk and who’s been a big representative of a party intent on forcing other people to live their way while behind closed doors doing whatever they want.

 Plus: how do you explain/excuse/dismiss his misuse of public funds (of which more info keeps slipping out) and his total irresponsibility as to his job, disappearing for 5 days without letting anyone know or leaving anyone in his place? What exactly do deluded Republicans say about this sort of stuff? Oh, it doesn’t matter because he’s one of us?

  

By Maia Haines on 07/02/2009 3:15 am
Maia Haines

Not ‘period’, deber B. He’s also a hypocrite and a self-serving liar. Why is it so hard for people like you to utilize logic? If Sanford had never held his holier-than-thou attitude and crucified everyone else because of it then, sure, you could say this was just a matter of a cheating hubby. But instead this reveals true hypocrisy, a guy who talked the talk and never walked the walk and who’s been a big representative of a party intent on forcing other people to live their way while behind closed doors doing whatever they want.

 Plus: how do you explain/excuse/dismiss his misuse of public funds (of which more info keeps slipping out) and his total irresponsibility as to his job, disappearing for 5 days without letting anyone know or leaving anyone in his place? What exactly do deluded Republicans say about this sort of stuff? Oh, it doesn’t matter because he’s one of us?

  

By Maia Haines on 07/02/2009 3:15 am
Maia Haines

Not ‘period’, deber B. He’s also a hypocrite and a self-serving liar. Why is it so hard for people like you to utilize logic? If Sanford had never held his holier-than-thou attitude and crucified everyone else because of it then, sure, you could say this was just a matter of a cheating hubby. But instead this reveals true hypocrisy, a guy who talked the talk and never walked the walk and who’s been a big representative of a party intent on forcing other people to live their way while behind closed doors doing whatever they want.

 Plus: how do you explain/excuse/dismiss his misuse of public funds (of which more info keeps slipping out) and his total irresponsibility as to his job, disappearing for 5 days without letting anyone know or leaving anyone in his place? What exactly do deluded Republicans say about this sort of stuff? Oh, it doesn’t matter because he’s one of us?

  

By Maia Haines on 07/02/2009 3:15 am
DeBúrca obj
deber face it, the Republican Party sets itself up as the moral values party and THAT is why this is political. This guy used "sanctity of marriage" to deny the rights of gays to marry, THAT is why it is political, he along with the rest of the party, quotes the bible as though it was written as a political talking point handbook for Republicans. That is why it is political.
By DeBúrca obj on 07/01/2009 9:10 am
deber B

You are quite an amazing poster, DeBurca, religion is a personal thing to all people.   We are free to worship anyway we choose.   To suggest that every single republican quotes from the Bible and judges other people is absurd.   There are many variables within each party.   And, if Sanford doesn’t believe in the rights of gays to marry, who cares?   Many people agree with him and they might be democrats.  And people disagree with him.  Who cares?    Within each party you have different degrees of what is important to you and what isn’t.  

The issue here is that a Governor has had an affair.    Period.   Your argument is not well taken as you are far too general in your point.   You are assuming that all people are alike if they belong to a certain political party.  

By deber B on 07/01/2009 9:21 am
Barbara
Deber, Can’t agree with you.  Sanford held himself and his party up as the party of values.  Then gets caught in an affair and lies about it.  What kind of values is that?  Everyone seems to want to say who cares when it is the Repbulican party of values in question.  When it’s a Democrat involved, then the moral outrage ensues. 
By Barbara on 07/01/2009 12:09 pm
deber B
Obviously not very good ones.   Don’t you think?   Are all of you democrats cloned? Do you all think alike and behave alike?     Probably not.   Neither do the republicans.   We are all individuals and as such make our own decisions.
By deber B on 07/01/2009 3:48 pm
DeBúrca obj
Democrats believe religion is a ‘personal thing’. Republicans want to legislate it. And when they quote their bible verses and pontificate about the ‘sanctity of marriage’ ‘right to life’ and say things like "America is a Christian nation" and  your man Huckabee saying how he would like to see the Constitution amended to ‘better reflect the bible’…. you have to expect it all to be flung back in your faces when your ‘holy’ politicians get caught screwing their girlfriends and often, boyfriends.
By DeBúrca obj on 07/01/2009 12:09 pm
deber B
We live in a crazy society, don’t we?   One has to wonder why.
By deber B on 07/01/2009 3:43 pm
Dona Howlett
What?  Why we live……………or why we’re Crazy
By Dona Howlett on 07/02/2009 5:29 am
Lin Cercone
Hey DBobj: No one could have said it better.  Brava/Bravo - whatever.
By Lin Cercone on 07/01/2009 5:24 pm
Maia Haines
deber B: "Read My Lips" as the unfortunate Bush Sr. once ‘unfortunately’ said: NOT ONE DEMOCRAT agrees with ANY belief of Sanford, his wife, or the people they associate with. Sure, some Democrats are more socially conservative than others —and, gosh, we Dems actually allow these people to own differing opinions!! Wow!— but no true Democrat would be caught syaing, as awful Jenny Sanford is right now, that because of gays and the ‘decline of morality in America’ her husband strayed!! Sounds just like Palin, doesn’t it? Another idiot who runs around saying one thing and doing another
By Maia Haines on 07/01/2009 12:24 pm
deber B
HUH?
By deber B on 07/01/2009 3:51 pm
Libra Lady

Deber…you are spot on…you have the kennedy’s (remember teddy and his possibly pregnant girlfriend dying in the car while the drunkin fool swam to save his life) and bobby and john..good Catholic church going family…and edwards, who now has a sex tape out and caught discussing his wedding and the wedding songs if Elizabeth dies of cancer…and who has denied the baby is not his.  You have spitzer now saying "at least he didn’t fall in love with his women"…oh, that makes it just fine there doesn’t it.  And look what clinton put the country through, he was the laughing stock of how many countries including the USA….how many times did we hear the cigar stories, the famous blue dress, and the many women who came forward with all kinds of details of his cheating….and yet he denied and denied up till the blue dress with his sperm was flashed before our eyes!!!  Yes, both parties have taken the low road, and no matter how you want to slice it….all are still  scumbags!!!!  So no one should be pointing fingers at either party…my God….to compare who’s affair is the worst here is just crazy making!!!  You can’t make this crap up!!!!  It’s time to send in the clowns!

By Libra Lady on 07/01/2009 9:23 am