A Friend Stopped By | 03/13/2009 3:00 pm

Michelle Obama Should Leave Daughters' Diets Out of the Press

By Alyse Myers

Editor’s Note: Alyse Myers is the author of Who Do You Think You Are?: A Memoir, which comes out in paperback next month.

Growing up, I cringed whenever I was compared to anyone else. Or when I was used as an example — good or bad — in front of an audience. In the second grade (the same grade as Sasha Obama), I had a teacher who would constantly tell the rest of the class that if I couldn’t do something — an art project, keep quiet during recess, etc. — well, no one could. And as you can imagine, despite that teacher’s good intentions, I wasn’t very popular in that class. I hated being on that stage — especially at seven.

So when I read Rachel L. Swarns’s piece in The New York Times — "Michelle Obama’s Agenda Includes Healthful Eating" — I had a second-grade flashback.

Swarns’ article focused on the First Mom’s campaign to promote healthy food and living, and it made mention of how she is working to make sure her daughters develop the right eating habits, too. It’s a challenge for mothers everywhere —- especially now. The article suggested that the White House kitchen might want to consider issuing regular news releases describing the menus of the First Couple and their daughters — so that other parents can use them as examples to share with their own children, a kind of "If Sasha and Malia are eating broccoli, well, you should, too."

At first read, the suggestion is a noble one. Mrs. Obama’s quest to make healthy eating a key part of her social agenda will no doubt positively affect millions of chubby American families.

But taking the extra step of using the Obama girls as salad-eating poster children to promote good eating habits among their peers? Don’t do it Mrs. Obama.

"Any time you use children as example to other children, your mission could backfire," said Dr. Ron Balamuth, a child psychologist and psychoanalyst affiliated with Columbia University. "Telling children that they should behave the same way as Sasha and Malia risks making them feel inadequate."

There’s also the issue of making your child feel unwanted. "You’re almost telling them unintentionally that you would rather be the parent of ‘those perfect girls,’" he said.

And finally, there’s the risk of undermining your child’s self-esteem. "By comparing and contrasting children, you elevate one — but bring down another," said Balamuth.

Ouch.

And let’s not forget the privacy matter. The First Lady has already declared that she doesn’t want her girls to be used for marketing purposes. Her office fired a presidential salvo across marketers’ bows last January when it asked Ty Inc., the maker of Beanie Babies, to remove two dolls that appeared to be named after Sasha and Malia — despite the company’s protests that those sweet and marvelous names had nothing to do with the First Daughters. I think most parents would agree that the White House made the right call there. I know I did.

If the Obamas decide to promote what Sasha and Malia are eating to set an example, their privacy could be violated. Beanie Babies or broccoli — exposure would put them on the spot. And the last thing those beautiful girls need is to have their dietary bar raised to the point of perfection. I would imagine most seven- and ten-year-olds wouldn’t want to have what they eat each day held up for all to see, either.

I’m all for promoting healthy eating. But please, let’s leave the First Daughters out of it. At least until they’re old enough to speak for themselves. The stage they’re on now must be uncomfortable enough.

61 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

I think the author of this piece is an idiot. There is nothing wrong with the The First Lady making sure her children eat well. My mother did it for me growing up and I’m 22 yrs of age and she still asks me what I have eaten.

In a world of where all of our food is not real we have to be very aware of what we eat. I think she is setting a god example and the author of this ill crafted piece needs to learn to deal with her own weight issues and not place blame on First Lady Obama.

Thank you

By D C on 03/16/2009 1:54 pm

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I meant "Good Example"

By D C on 03/16/2009 2:00 pm

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Hmmm, shouldn’t this article have better been directed at parents rather than Mrs. Obama? How parents choose to use any information coming out of the White House regarding the Obama children is their responsibility not Mrs. Obama. I think it is important that Mrs. Obama share some of her tips about what she is doing with regard to healthful foods for her family. But any parent with a brain (Does Ms. Myers have children?) knows the fastest way to lose your children is to try and make them do something because another child is doing it. Doesn’t work. However there are children who love to follow what other children do and if the parents are monitoring those ideas…then what Sasha and Melia are eating may help others try new veggies and eat more fish. But I think Mrs. Obama would be the first to tell all parents, that the task of getting her girls to eat healthy foods is an ongoing effort with some detours. Completely healthy eating will not happen in one fell swoop!

Methinks Ms. Myers wants a ride on the Michelle Obama bandwagon!

By Victoria J on 03/16/2009 2:02 pm

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Fact 1: childhood obesity is considered an epidemic

Fact 2: Sasha and Malia are admired by kids and tweens across the nation.

With these two facts in evidence, I think in general the idea of promoting healthy eating by posting some of the White House menus is a good one. I wouldn’t want them to post say, whether Sasha refused to eat her cauliflower, or how many apples Malia eats per day, but think its not a violation of privacy to say —on Tuesday, we had baked chicken, green beans, and fruit for desert.

By Willow K on 03/16/2009 2:25 pm

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I think that it is wonderful that the Michelle is making sure that her children are healthy, BUT the children are going to be in the light more so that any others just because of who they are. They need some privacy. We do NOT need to know what they are eating. The children need to be protected from the media as much as possible.

By allee bstock on 03/16/2009 2:54 pm

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I don’t understand the facination of other people’s eating and living habits. I have always hated the yellow journals [Star,People, etc]. Leave the private lives of people private. Worry about your own and those you have control of!

By L. J on 03/16/2009 3:57 pm

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Parents need to spend more time with their own children. Most parents are so busy with their lives they couldn’t possible tell you what their children are eating and doing. It is a real problem and our society proves it everyday. Parents Talk to your children find out who they are and spend quality time as a family. You will not regret it. It does not matter what other children are eating; it matters what your child is eating. Elizabeth Roy

By Elizabeth Roy on 03/16/2009 6:16 pm

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Sasha and Malia are admired by kids and tweens across the nation … My problem with this statement is what actually do ‘kids and tweens across the nation’ know about Sasha and Malia? They are cute kids for sure but the nation knows as much about them as they did their parents ….

By canuck canuck on 03/17/2009 1:34 am

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The Obama children will be in the spotlight to some degree just because they are the president’s children. I am thankful they are not old enough yet to be learning more embarassing lessons than how to eat well! If Michelle is asked about the girls, or how she runs the White House, all the better to highlight the children’s best habits, since the world will know some of their habits regardless.

And… I am not sure why everyone is riled up about the notion of child role modles. Children compare themself to other children all the time (just as we adults compare ourselves to other adults). Would parents be so upset about the Dora the Exporer re-vamp if we didn’t believe that children rolemodles had an effect?

By Raugiel Reddel on 03/17/2009 11:31 am

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My opinion is that although the White House and its residence are of interest to most people, that does not a mother should take a step in the direction of putting her children through any more of the magnifying glass treatment than necessary..Lord knows they had their whole life changed when they became the first family, surely they are entitled to as much of a normal childhood, not to say that anything about their childhood could be termed normal, but as normal as a mother can arrange and make it be…

By Louise McCurry on 03/17/2009 7:36 pm

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I’m thinking the effect on Sasha and Malia of being held up as the dietary gold standard is NOT GOOD. What happens when one is photographed eating, God forbid, A SNICKERS? Horrors, a child eating chocolate! I get that we should eat broccoli more than we do chocolate, but can you imagine the ribbing at school? "Ooooooooh, are you sure you can eat those M&Ms? Is that okay? Isn’t Mommy going to be mad? I’m gonna tell…" Does Mrs. Obama realize that her children do have to leave the house sometime - and their popularity with their peers will not be elevated by their peers being told, "Now, eat your green beans - you know Sasha and Malia eat THEIR green beans…"

I’m no expert, but I thought placing an excessive emphasis on diet and weight and health with young children was a factor in eating disorders later in life. Does she really want her young daughters held up to the nation for scrutiny not only for what they wear, but for their eating habits and weight? Now that the cat’s out of the bag, let’s hope neither goes through a chubby phase in puberty.

By Cecily Edwards on 03/19/2009 6:46 am

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She didn’t say that they don’t eat anything unhealthy.If you read the Oprah interview or any other interview, she said she just tries to make them get into the habit of eating healthy. She said it herself that they have waffles for breakfast! And we all know there is nothing healthy about waffles..lol

How ridiculous is it to criticize her for making smart food decisions. If she would have said that her children only eat snickers, popcorn,cookies,cakes, and pies then everyone would be calling for child services to intervene.But instead, we have small minded people who have the audacity to think that she is doing something wrong by saying her children are taught to eat healthy.

First Lady Obama…continue to be yourself and love your children,their minds, and bodies enough to feed them healthy food. Dust your shoulders off and keep it moving.

By D C on 03/19/2009 12:19 pm

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Just for the record; I LOVED being held up a an example to the class, especially when, in Kindergarten, my boyfriend Paul Lynch and I were taken out of class and escorted to the third-grade classroom on the mysterious top floor, stood in front of the blackboard, handed the third grade reader, and told to "start reading." The pedagogical technique being used may have been suspect — what child was ever shamed into learning to read by seeing that a younger child could easily read what was code to him or her?— but Oh, how I loved being a prodigy!

By Helen O'Reilly on 03/19/2009 12:55 pm

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OH. MY. GOD. Were those stupid pills your mother fed you? The author isn’t saying Mrs. Obama shouldn’t feed her girls healthy food. She’s saying what the girls eat should be kept out of the media. Maybe you should have run your post by your mommy before you hit Submit.

By M P on 03/25/2009 8:39 am