My first thought, looking at the puffy, bloodshot eyes of South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, was, "Do these guys NEVER learn from the mistakes of their elders?" Although there are legions of examples of pols who strayed and got caught they could choose from – I’m not referring to Bill Clinton or Gary Hart or … pick a name – in this case, there is a particularly fitting example Sanford should have been mindful of: Wilbur Mills.

I have quoted the wise words of Mills, the late representative from Arkansas and the powerful chairman of the House Ways and Means committee, many times before: "Never drink champagne with a foreigner." Mills was referring to Fanne Fox, the stripper known as "The Argentine Firecracker" with whom he was discovered cavorting in the tidal basin. Apparently, Sanford drank in a lot more than that from Maria, the Argentine chauffeur, a woman he has considered a "friend" for eight years. Man, these guys never fail to disappoint – ridiculous cover stories (hiking alone on the Appalachian trail? Really?) are always blown, and we are left with hilarious images and bits of info: Monica’s blue dress; Spitzer’s black socks; and now, Sanford’s e-mail, leaked to The State newspaper, in which he praises the curves of his lover’s hips along with her "erotic beauty" and "magnificent gentle kisses," and describes himself as a man bound up in "a hopelessly impossible situation of love."

In addition to seriously pissing off his wife, who apparently found out what was going on a few months ago and asked for a separation two weeks ago, he has further narrowed the Republican field of 2012 presidential contenders. (Nevada Sen. John Ensign’s chances bit the dust after his longtime affair with an aide was revealed only a week ago.) Sanford has already resigned from his post as chairman of the Republican Governors’ Association, where he will be succeeded by my good friend Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, who is already running and who is one of the smartest people I know.

But back to the Sanford saga: the most refreshing thing about his news conference yesterday was that Sanford was the only one crying. There was no dutiful wife, in dress and pearls, standing shell-shocked and red-eyed beside him á la Silda Spitzer. Jenny Sanford says she requested the separation in order to maintain her "dignity and self-respect." In response to their troubles, the couple had been attending an intense Bible study group, and Jenny, a tad too predictably, says she’ll take her husband back, but only "in time" and only "if he continues to work toward reconciliation with a true spirit of humility and repentance." It must be said, she is giving herself a lot of outs on that one. And I would not characterize quickie trips to Argentina as exactly in keeping with "the true spirit of repentance." From the looks of things (not to mention the video of his distraught, stream-of-consciousness press conference) no amount of praying is going to mend Sanford’s broken heart over this present-day Argentine Firecracker.