A little thought … I suspect that not just women but people in general are less happy than in the past due to this overwhelming sense of entitlement … I want, I deserve, because… I want, I deserve … not just women but, dare say, children, feeling underprivileged (sp?) without the latest whatever that children are lead to believe they must have.  Too, this sense that living without techno toys is not true living.  Am I making myself clear?

I don’t know how many times I’ve gone out and watched adults with other adults or children, for that matter, and a cell phone is in use.  What is so important that time with another, time with one’s children, is seconded to a telephone call?

Yes, that’s it.  Unhappiness all ‘round tied to this entitlement thing and addiction to techno ‘stuff’.

I think this is nothing more than an attempt by a (still) male-dominated media to convince women that their attempts "to have it all" are futile. After all, a woman who is not convinced that she can have career success and family most likely will not compete with men for money, jobs, political power, etc.

Besides, there is a huge hole in Times’ reasoning—if women were indeed happier 40 years ago, why did the second-wave feminist movement reach the height of its power and effectiveness in the late 60’s/early 70’s. Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan didn’t emerge from a vacuum.

What do I think accounts for the "Time" article findings? Maybe the reporters are on drugs. This is probably also the only reasonable explanation for the prior article several years ago stating the miniscule percentage chance a woman over 30 had of getting married. I took that one seriously, but I was much younger and greener then and profound thanks that I am older and wiser now and hardly ever read
"Time" anymore.

I am here to tell you that I am now living in a country which shall be nameless but where the attitude toward women (by both women and men) is at best—at best—what it was 40 or even 50 or 60 years ago in the US. Like traveling back in a time machine, it is fun wearing the costumes but decidedly no fun dealing with the natives.  I can unequivocally state that it was much better, much much better for me recently as a woman in the US than it was 40 years ago and all those women—or ladies—who bemoan the lack of family solidarity and shmoozing should just have a taste of what it is like for real again and maybe they would lose their nostalgia.

Picture walking into an auto parts store in California and having the clerk look up and ask you if you are the driver. As in the unspoken question or are you the little lady who sits in the back seat? That was maybe the worst of sexism I got in California but here, in the land that time forgot, I get people who don’t think I can add two and two, men who do not think I can lift a package, women who are appalled that I read "serious" books or have an interest in subjects other than clothes, food, and babies…and the list goes on. To move myself into a position anything like the one I had in California where I ran my own business in information technology, drove my own car, lifted weights and hauled bricks etc etc etc is going to take not only a lot of physical effort but also a tremendous psychological effort, like a salmon swimming upstream. Nevertheless I must do it because I know what makes me happy.

So in short 40 years ago is a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there. I prefer the 21st century and the further ahead the better. Anyone who is with me can go thumb her/his nose at "Time" magazine. 

I am usually a happy person.  However, I can tell you why I am unhappy at the moment, and I think I have a right to be angry and upset.

On Saturday 10-17-09, I went to the local shelter to look at a kitten that my mother said "I just had to see" because she was so cute.  When I saw her, I fell in love with her and after finding out that she was going to be euthanized on Monday I filled out the paperwork, paid for her, and adopted her.  The ladies at the shelter told me that on Monday they would set up an appointment at a vet clinic to have her fixed and would call me and let me know when and where this was to be done so I could pick her up.

Monday comes and goes and I get no call.  Tuesday at 4:30pm I call them to find out what is going on.  They tell me that they forgot to set the appointment but if I will hold on the phone they will do it right that moment.  The appointment is set for Monday the 26th.  I hang up.  5 minutes later, they call back to say, "I’m sorry, but I just realized that the kitten you adopted is black and white, and we are not allowed to adopt out black or black and white cats in October."  Then they tell me they have already euthanized her!  This in itself infuriated me, but then I asked them for a refund and they tell me, "Oh, we don’t give refunds it says so on the paperwork, but you can come down and pick out another cat."  This made me really angry!  I told them I don’t want another cat, I picked the cat I wanted.  Their response, "Why?  You only like black and white cats?"  I said NO!  You killed the cat I wanted.  I then asked to speak to the director and was told that she was too busy to speak to anyone at the moment.  I asked for her name so I could call back and I was told that they didn’t know how to pronounce her last name and wasn’t going to try on the phone.  I asked them if they could spell it out to me, and was told no, and that I was being rude.  My response?  I’m being rude?  You killed my cat and are refusing to give me my money back.

You know, it’s not even that they refused to give me my money back, it’s that they had no sympathy for the cat they put down needlessly.  I would have gladly payed to have her boarded there until November so that I could adopt her.  Then they act like the kitten is expendable, just pick out another cat, they are all the same.  The lack of respect for life astounds me.  Yes, I am angry.  I think I have a right to be.     

Angel Harper,

I know it is somewhat OT but I sympathize with your upset with the shelter people. First, to bring closure, call again and try to reach someone else to get the name and information for the director. Second, if they continue to be uncooperative you can get the director’s name from your local government as the shelter I am sure either is part of your city/town or is registered in some way. Then get it off your chest by talking, writing, etc and/or file a formal complaint. If you want your money back try informally at first and then get formal. As for the shelter, I tend to stay away from them as your experience is definitely not unique. Sometimes you must learn through bitter experience which I hope does not happen with you; if people do not supply answers one needs to ask a lot of questions. If this does not work and you have talked to more than one person there my rule of thumb is that this nonresponse is a management problem and someone has hired like-minded people. This is where a formal complaint comes in. It is very unfortunate but even in places where one would think people should have more compassion such as animal shelters and human health clinics many staff are hardened or do not seem to care. I extend my deep sympathies to you and the kitten who has gone on to better things.

I must tell you that even in looking for a vet after some experience and life experience when I had a beloved old sick cat in a new city, I took him around to various vets for a "checkup" and in doing that I simultaneously checked out the vet’s operations, manner, and staff. It took time but I finally found a good vet who practised  both conventional and alternative medicine and had deep compassion for animals.

Happier 40 years ago?

Definitely! I was 20, in college in California with palm trees, guys in flip-flops and Aloha shirts, many classes were conducted outside in the Rose Garden or on green grassy knolls. Our small private Jesuit college had Wednesdays off so we could study… so we went to the beach and studied surfing, sunshine, and Socrates.

My biggest worries were which outfit to wear, where to sit in the cafeteria, what time was everybody going to Yosemite/Carmel/San Francisco for the weekend.

I saw Haight Ashbury, once, and walked in peace marches in Golden Gate Park. I loved English literature classes and thrived. I  had my own column in the school newspaper. I was fortunate to have a great circle of friends, mostly English majors, and we’re still friends today. It was the best of times.