Oh this is a painful topic for me. I always wanted to ask an opinion on this, so here goes: Ever since I hit puberty, my father had something he would say to me, frequently, and he said it until I was well into my 20s (I am 46 now): “If you look half as good at 30 as your mother does at 40 (then he eventually upped it to 50), you’ll be lucky.” What the hell does that actually mean? It never set well with me. I grew up hating my looks and doubting pretty much everything about myself :D

One of the few things my mother and I had in common was our vanity. I always thought she was one of the vainest women on earth, and with her passing I inherited this trait. She always said, “If you don’t take care of yourself, who will?” Meaning appearance, of course — a man was supposed to take care of the rest.

I picked other as I’m not sure I look better but different. Someone said that 50 was considered old in her mom’s era and that’s my mom as well. However, mom always ate well and worked hard. So she was in shape and what one might term a “handsome” woman. But she dressed old and thought she was old at 50.

After reading Ruth’s post and now Babette’s I’m wondering how one’s mother’s looks affect us in profound ways. If your mother looks like Lauren Bacall, as Mugsy’s did, and you don’t come close, how does that play? If you had a mother who primped and preened are you clean scrubbed and comfortable?

My mother was a noted beauty, and looked very beautiful at my age because she had a great complexion. But….she never worked out, in fact, I don’t remember seeing her take a walk, not that I think of it. She smoked until she was about 60. These two factors directly affect one’s physical appearance. The unusual thing about her was she was a sun tan fanatic until she was about 65, but never, and I mean never, ended up with leather skin or sunspots. Amazing!

Not better, possibly younger. My mother dressed well, did her hair every morning, applied makeup and ALWAYS wore a dress. She colored her hair for as long as I can remember and wore it in a french twist for years.

My mom is 40 years older than I so she always looked old to me. I was only 6 years old when she was my age so any pictures of her at my age require me to see beyond the cat-eye glasses and conservative clothing she wore in order to compare. She certainly looks old now at 86 but that doesn’t matter. I want her attitude. She broke her leg on Friday and lay in a hospital bed for four days awaiting surgery. When my sister and I visited her post-surgery on Tuesday evening, she assured us that she was fine but wanted to know, more importantly she said, how we were. She encouraged us to go out and have a fun evening. When I visited her yesterday, she was in fine spirits and said “I’d like to be unhappy but I don’t have the time”. She profusely thanked her attending nurse for the fine care and raved about the orange sherbet that was part of her lunch. That’s who I want to be.