Poll | 05/16/2008 12:00 am

How many times have you been divorced?

Read more about: Divorce, Marriage, Relationships

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After being single for years I met a childhood sweetheart that I hadn’t seen in 30 years. After a whirlwind romance we married and divorced 8 months later. It took me that long to remember why I had broken up with him when we were teenagers. We are still friends though. LOL

By Maggi D on 05/16/2008 12:14 am

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I can understand that, Maggie. My teenage boyfriend and I reconnected almost 50 years later. I adore him, but from a distance. I know I wouldn’t like living with him. This way, for both of us, it’s an email fantasy. I’m divorced once, from a very nice man. I just prefer to be single.

By Meg Umans on 05/16/2008 11:30 am

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You have to be able to get married before you can get divorced.

By Mugsy Peabody on 05/16/2008 12:18 am

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In honor of yesterday’s landmark decision for equality in California, I would ask that fair-minded pople who really believe in a level playing field support the 25% of Americans who are excluded from marriage even though we pay more than 25% of income taxes, take out the garbage, and live pretty much as ordinary and mundane lives as the rest of you all… Here are the groups most to thank for years-long support in this effort, in case you would want to make a contribution. It is important, because already the hate-mongers are out there organizing to overturn the results of the democratic process, which they only honor when it suits their ends. These are the groups I am aware of; there may be others. ACLU: www.aclu.org Equality California: http://www.eqca.org Human Rights Campaign: www.hrc.org Natl Center for Lesbian Rts: www.nclrights.org

By Mugsy Peabody on 05/16/2008 5:12 pm

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Good for you, Mugsy! For this and the China and Burma relief links. I was so happy about the news in California. It is a human rights issue, as far as I can see. I say…hetero divorce rates being what they are…why wouldn’t we support any two people who want to commit to love and family, hearth and home. Am I wrong? Isn’t the family the fundamental economic unit? It’s insanity for the government to even be involved, but even more incomprehensible that we would deny any desire to enhance the fabric of our nation. It’s the ultimate sexism…and it swings both ways.

By Ms. Dee on 05/16/2008 11:43 pm

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Truly, truly, You know, I am always amused that the “Wither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me,” that so many use in their het marriage ceremonies is from the Book of Ruth, and in fact is Ruth talking to Naomi. An irony lost on most, sadly…

By Mugsy Peabody on 05/17/2008 5:20 am

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Mugsy - Isn’t that part of Ruth really talking about a spiritual principle and not about marriage? It is something deeper, not on the surface.

By Frannie Em on 05/18/2008 2:50 pm

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Well, Frannie, women in this world who marry women, they’d damn well better have “a spiritual principle….something deeper, not on the surface.” Can you imagine how deep the love must be to stand up to your entire culture and say, “Yes, but this is who I love…” Over and over and over again. Because it happens that way. Over and over and over again. And what makes you think that Ruth isn’t a Lesbian? There’s no evidence one way or another, really, because we’ve never been talked about in the history books. Our contributions, our lives, meant nothing to the greater culture. It’s always been there, for those of us who know what we’re looking for, of course.

By Mugsy Peabody on 05/18/2008 5:42 pm

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I was glad to hear California Supreme Courts ruling. Not allowing marriage for gay people is discriminatory. I see other states following little by little. Having a gay step daughter with her partner and now expecting a baby - I worry that laws will not be available to their family and their well being as well as others in the same situation that protect other people. When will this country really stand up for the equality for all that we so proudly boast about to the rest of the world? This is not a religious thing - this is a civil rights issue totally separate from any church teachings that people can choose to believe (or not). Congratulations Californians! I only wish gays in Ohio and elsewhere had the same open minded neighbors.

By Kay Sara on 05/17/2008 9:56 am

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Mugsy 5:12 Yesterday when I heard the results of the decision re: gay marriage I thought about this poll. I kept wondering how the numbers would come out. How many divorces? Hey, if they want to divorce, they should divorce, but it just goes to prove that marriage is a manmade institution, created by very flawed human beings, trying to get along in a world they cannot control. So for me, marriage is what you make it, and between two people that hopefully have essentially the same goals to make a lifelong legal relationship work. I do not believe that should be denied to anyone if they want it. What right do I have to say that they can’t? It is not up to me, it is up to them. If participants of straight marriages are so concerned about the sanctity of marriage - they should keep their focus on their own marriage’s survival. As noted in the poll, there are numerous divorces, so it doesn’t seem like marriage is a sanctuary.

By Frannie Em on 05/17/2008 5:00 pm

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Once was enough!

By C A Rose on 05/16/2008 12:31 am

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Once is enough. Sometimes I am amazed that my husband and I have made it this far. We are so different. Oh well, something had to be going on.

By Frannie Em on 05/16/2008 12:43 am

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My parents divorced when I was 24, and my 3 younger brothers still at home. I had a major depression for 2 years. Anytime things get really tough, and I allow myself to dwell on the thought of getting divorced, even as a temporary relief fantasy - I remember the agony of those 2 years and realize I’d rather die than put my own children through that hell. I believe that miserable experience helped inoculate me against the temptation of divorce. We will be celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary in June - and I’m enormously grateful that I had the conviction to buck up during the hard times, and focus on improving the relationship. Life is good, and getting better. These are the golden years.

By Bella Mia on 05/16/2008 12:52 am

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Marriage seems a far-away thing to me, when many of my childhood friends have been married. However, one of them divorced in one year since she got married. I was very puzzled of that. Whether they loved each other or not? My parents have been married for 26 years, and they had the problems sometimes that once time I really doubted they would finish the relationship. But they finally found the balance point and life continued. I hope I would find the MR RIGHT one day, get married, have children and enjoy the life. When we have the different opinions, we could sit down and calm down to talk about it instead quarrel and blame to each other. Bella Mia, thanks your words that gave me confidence. “Life is good, and getting better. “

By lin si on 05/17/2008 10:15 pm