I agree that “confront” has negative connotations, e.g., “confrontational” does not look good on the annual eval. However…I would say “Honey, we need to talk; Please arrange your schedule to leave the weekend free for some “us” time.” Then I’d use the time until the weekend to plan the Q&A session and plan to listen as well as talk. This is the time for High Drama and Emotionial Outbursts to be put on the shelf and to take Common Sense out of the closet. If your marriage, husband and children place high on your list, treat them as such and try to save them.

I chose “let it pass” - not that I would let it pass forever. Having been married for 23 years on Sunday, I’ve learned that reacting in the heat of emotions - in the name of honesty - is rarely helpful. It’s just not who *I* am. I’m a woman who needs time to think, to reflect, to ponder. I need to know what my own part is in anything. I need a chance to find out where I stand in my heart before I let my mouth flap about what someone else is doing. Especially someone I love. I rarely let anything go for long in my marriage - although I know my husband wishes I would :) He’s not much of a “talker” - but he is a good listener. Sometimes I like to think he is a good listener because I think before I talk.

Funny how I would have chosen any one of those options at different stages in my life. Now at 65 I say “let it pass” but be mindful and get more information. Women are natural born investigators and gatherers of information. And do get tested. Life is too complicated to act impulsively.

Oh, for god’s sake, people! The guy just went to the gym, for chrissakes! What IS the big deal? I can’t imagine being married to people who go off on tangents like this. It would totally make me bonkers! Don’t straight people talk to each other?

I’m wondering if the add new comment click at the bottom of the poll itself is working. Lost postings?

He could be having a off day, but having been cheated on in the past, I have learned to read the signs and the signs were definitely all there. The choice I would probably really do isn’t there. Me, I would have gotten sneaky, probably popped in at work, found some way to follow him, then confront him with whatever proof I acquired.

Why didn’t she wake him up? Why should she be up worrying while he sleeps peacefully?