How wonderfully wicked would it be for her to tell Bart that she had the nostalgic thought to call Jonathan, turns out he’ll be in town for a meeting - and wouldn’t it be fabulous for the three of them to go out to dinner together? Imagine the look on Bart’s face. Call Jonathan and let him know that the two of them will be coming to dinner- or just show up. Spend an enjoyable evening together with Jonathan reminiscing about all the old fun and games. She could then congratulate herself for surprising Bart, and putting a little question in his mind: Does she know? Also, sharing fond memories of good times with a spouse is one of the best ways to rekindle the romantic spark. Burn baby burn.

I hope she has a change of heart. She is questioning her desirableness with an old flame. She is not realizing that it is not her. It is self-abuse for a woman who has been cheated on to think that it somehow is her fault. If in fact, he has cheated. I’m still of the opinion that she should confront him with the question, and make her decision based on the outcome of that. She is afraid that the world she knows is crumbling. If Bart has cheated, she is better off making a plan for her exit (if that is what she wants or will do).

Whatever she does, it should be honest. Taking an “if you can do it, so can I” approach is reflexive, not self-respecting. Whether she announces that she is meeting an old friend for dinner or not, she shouldn’t lie about it. So far, whatever the possible sub-texts, it is just a reunion. She could well get there and realize that this is not a romance novel- she might discover over dinner that Jonathan has been divorced twice for a reason, and whatever she does about Bart, Jonathan is not going to be part of it.

I would imagine that in her mind thoughts of insecurity and desperation are ricochetting so fast her plans would be equally disjointed. First a good look in the mirror. Possibly triage, new hair, outfit… not eating much that day- even one pound of water weight lost is a needed victory. Then call back JM, make a date for the next day, or soon- this is a plan to keep you breathing for the near future. Most important must be to find out the truth about Bart- this means everything. What he has ventured out to find will reveal if it is about him or her. Is “she” young and admiring, or “seasoned” like her. Is he looking for sex or companionship- in which arena will she have to build up her defenses. No matter what, she will have to mend this wound to her core self before deciding to see Jonathan. Depending on what happens with Bart - she knows where he is so watching may reveal something, or surprising him with roomservice for two on the offense- buys her some time. Not doing her d&d, a face to face with Jonathan may be a further disappointment, or worse a complication creating a two front war- separates her defenses.

1. Don’t meet with Jonathan 2. decide whether she really wants to be in this marriage or not. she sounds pretty detached from Bart. No wonder he’s looking around. 3. Reach out to Bart the way she wants him to reach out to her. 4. Decide if she is happier the way she is or divorced. She’s heading down the divorce path pretty quickly. I have to say I don’t understand her and her motivations. She isn’t happy with Bart but isn’t doing anything about it except for some very selfish actions

Feel good about contacting Jonathan but call the dinner meeting off and deal with Bart and communicate!!!

Call her girlfriend and meet her at the hottubs.

Oh, for heaven’s sake, don’t couples talk anymore? They both need to get everything out into the open—no revenge dinner with an old boyfriend. They are in a uber-rut and if they cannot communicate, that describes the end of a relationship.