A Friend Stopped By | 07/28/2008 12:00 am

Ashley Judd's Rwanda Diaries Part Eight: Family Planning at Work

By Ashley Judd

Courtesy of Ashley Judd

We sat in the shade of a fine tree as this sweet couple shared their success with family planning. This is a positive achievement, no doubt, and in no way do I diminish its meaning. It is very likely Therese and other of their children would be dead without birth control. But looking at the rest of their lives, there remains such struggle. Their one mosquito net, dating to her last pregnancy, is tattered and out-of-date. They eat one meal a day close to bedtime, and sometimes nothing at all. The water is not safe and they experience episodes of diarrheal disease. Therese’s parents died when she was very young. She was very sickly, and dropped out of school after fourth grade. Both she and Victor are unemployed. There is violence in the neighborhood, especially because of moonshine made from a manioc processor nearby, and Therese is terrified of the rapes, of which one hears much in the neighborhood.

There is more, but why go on? Isn’t this enough?

One day when they were still children, Victor saw Therese as she was at the river doing wash with other girls. She was nine, he a bit older. He said his heart began to beat really fast. He asked friends about who she was, and discovered where in the neighborhood she lived. Eventually, when she was 17, they married. Thirty years. Can you imagine? I told him when the going gets tough in my marriage, as it does with any relationship from time to time, I will remember them and take courage.

Click here to read Ashley Judd’s Rwanda Diaries Part One: After Doubt and Delay, Ashley Arrives in Africa.

Click here to read Ashley Judd’s Rwanda Diaries Part Two: Skulls, Femurs and Flowers.

Click here to read Ashley Judd’s Rwanda Diaries Part Three: When the Machetes Stopped Hacking Bodies.

Click here to read Ashley Judd’s Rwanda Diaries Part Four: The Drums Beat the Skulls From My Dreams.

Click here to read Ashley Judd’s Rwanda Diaries Part Five: Not a Breeze-in, Breeze-out Kind of Gal.

Click here to read Ashley Judd’s Rwanda Diaries Part Six: So Much Potential, So Little Time.

Click here to read Ashley Judd’s Rwanda Diaries Part Seven: It Takes a Village … and Then Some.

Read more about: A Friend Stopped By, Africa, Ashley Judd, Change the World, Rwanda

11 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

I have been reading Ms. Judd’s journey for weeks now …. in the beginning I posted … then as the story kept unfolding I felt muted by the desperation … My instinct tells me to post now … This real life story being told by Ms. Judd has had a HUGE impact on my life. I sit and complain about not having enough money to buy M an ice cream … ppffftttt, how stupid is that in the big scheme of things? I felt and smelled and wept as if I were walking in the brave selfless shoes of Ms. Judd. My place in life has been humbled and I will carry the message of the story with me for forever. Please, Dear WoW panel hear this message …. we need awareness and a means by which to get involved through financial support or by grass roots community service to affect change. Thank you, and I look forward to more threads like this one.

By Blue Circle Girl on 07/28/2008 1:06 am

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Liza: “In the beginning I posted…then as the story kept unfolding I felt muted by the desperation..” You’ve captured my feelings exactly.

By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 07/28/2008 9:07 am

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BCG, thank you for saying what I feel so much better than I every could. I, too, have made an appeal to WoW panel. Maybe they can help us get involved in some way to affect change. Than you (through tears). Dabney

By Dab-a- do on 07/28/2008 9:40 am

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Thank you once again Ms Judd—your writings add immeasurably to my deepening understanding of sub-Saharan and central Africa. Unless we in the 1st world understand what is happening there how can we possibly deal with the incredibly major problems these people face. My reading has expanded into Africa as a whole and in sub-Saharan Africa in particular. I look forward every week to your insights—I’m so pleased that birth control is beginning to work there—the family you describe are obviously very devoted and birth control is a step to helping them. I just added this week to my understanding of the appalling conditions in Darfur through an article in The Times of London—it’s horrifying what these people go through and in particular the women. It was written by a woman doctor, a native of Darfur, who suffered rape and torture at the hands of Sudanese government Army troops. I thought I was hardened but the article nearly turned my stomach. The work of PSI and other organizations in Africa is so difficult yet rewarding, and your writings interpret and add to my understanding—thank you again so very much.

By Frank Peterson on 07/28/2008 1:11 am

The doctor’s name is Halima Bashir and her story is here and its horrifying: http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/…

By Frank Peterson on 07/28/2008 1:30 am

And her 1st person account is here: http://entertainment.timesonline.co.uk/tol/arts_and_entertainment/books/…

By Frank Peterson on 07/28/2008 1:33 am

This article really underscores why most people should be grateful in America for what we have, compared to the plight of so many others.

By James the Game on 07/28/2008 5:17 am

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Cindy McCain has also just returned from Rwanda, a region where her charity has worked for the last 30 years. She happened to be there during the genocide in 1994, and reports how things have improved since her last visit. “Rwanda’s women are leading the way” 7/28/08 by Cindy McCain http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121720134007588395.html

By Bella Mia on 07/28/2008 11:54 am

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I’m just coming in on this story so I will go back and catch up. I agree with BCG and James that Americans have no idea of the pain and heartache felt daily by others in foreign countries. Thank you Ms. Judd for sharing your experience.

By Arty Aimes on 07/28/2008 1:42 pm

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I know that it’s one thing to read about Rwanda’s families in peril and quite another to be sitting with them, realizing that, without birth control, family members would undoubtedly have died. But even with the life-saving decision to use birth control, families are still teetering on the razor’s edge…because of abject poverty and violence. Just before I read Ashley Judd’s latest diary entry, I threw away some leftovers that had sat too long in my refrigerator. What I tossed in my trash can was probably the equivalent of what Therese’s and Victor’s entire family would have to eat for a day. I feel sickened and guilty because of this waste and imbalance. We absolutely must change the paradigm so that families don’t starve and mothers and sisters and daughters are safe from rape. As Blue plead, “WoW panel hear this message.” Surely there are ways in which you can lead in bringing about change and we can help. Ashley Judd is doing her part. We should be doing ours.

By Maurine H on 07/28/2008 11:11 pm