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Money | 04/04/2008 12:43 pm

Author Julie Morgenstern Asks: Is It Time to Get Organized … or to Shed?

A Friend Stopped By

EDITOR’S NOTE: Julie Morgenstern is the New York Times bestselling author of Organizing from the Inside Out and Never Check E-mail in the Morning.

As an organizing and time management consultant for nearly 20 years, I’ve been helping individuals and companies to improve their spaces, systems, schedules, working relationships and lives so that they can achieve their goals.

No matter where I go in the world, or who I’m working with, everyone feels overwhelmed: We live in a too much to do, not enough time, blackberry saddled, can’t turn off, can’t quite squeeze it all in world. That applies equally to the philanthropist in New York trying to change the world, to the Midwest professor balancing work and kids, to the author (Fannie Flagg) preparing for a move, to the entrepreneur in Stockholm trying to take control over her business.

One of the problems I run into all the time is that while people have a deep desire to make their lives better – they just don’t always know exactly what they need. When you feel overwhelmed, you want quick relief, and reach out for solutions — but it’s often the WRONG thing. One client came to me expecting me to tell her to eliminate half the things in her chaotic schedule, but all she really needed was a good planner to tame the chaos. Another constantly lost information in her files, and assumed she needed a whole new organizing system, but colored file folders were all she needed to make retrieval easier.

My biggest pet peeve is how the popular culture — and even many organizing professionals — constantly confuse organizing with getting rid of things. There are “organizing” makeovers on television aplenty these days, all of which promise to help you tame the chaos once and for all. Usually these programs offer stunning before and after shots and loads of cheery advice to accompany stern warnings about the dangers of living a disorganized life. They all have the same basic message: Toss this, trash that, downsize, simplify. Voila! Life is perfect.

I don’t think it’s quite that easy.

There are two big problems with this interpretation of organizing. First, the process is dumbed-down in pursuit of the 24-minute television miracle. Rooms, once buried beneath mountains of junk, are magically transformed into beautiful, clean, yoga-inspired spaces. Good television to be sure, but that’s not how it works. Second, and even more important, the premise that organizing and “throwing things away” are somehow one in the same, is wrong. This falsehood is doing a tremendous disservice to the professional organizing industry and its millions of clients.

Allow me to explain. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t actually need to throw anything away to get organized, because organizing is not about getting rid of things. Organizing is the process of identifying what’s important to you and giving yourself access to it. True organizing is about designing systems of storage and retrieval. People who need to get organized usually know where they want to go (e.g. start a business, win a promotion, save a marriage, be a better parent), they just need help overcoming the obstacles on the path to their destination.

But when you need or want to make a change in your life, and are unsure of your destination, (what is my next career? Do I stay in this house or move? Do I switch jobs or just go part-time, do I try to save this relationship or move on), you don’t need to get organized, you need to SHED. That is get rid of the obsolete in your space and schedule, so that you create the energy, insight and space to figure out what’s next. Think of it this way — organizing is dropping anchor once you know what you want, and de-cluttering is lifting anchor so you can find someplace new. De-cluttering is not organizing — it does not create a system. But, it can be a powerful catalyst to change.

So, what do you need right now … to get organized? Or to SHED?

Read more about: A Friend Stopped By, Career

45 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Ruth Schimel
Ooops, My post just now was meant for Victoria, not Suzanne. I apologize. Ruth Schimel www.ruthschimel.com
By Ruth Schimel on 04/09/2008 8:15 am
Julie Morgenstern
Bella- As overwhelmed as your friend is with her situation, my experience is that for most of us, even when loss is imposed, there is always a part of us deep inside that feels on some level a sense of opportunity in this loss—that there is some doorway, an opening, a transformation to be had. The reality is, noone lets go into a vacuum—it’s too hard to just get rid of things without a sense of what you are trading those objects for. However intangible what you are reaching for is. So, the very first thing your friend needs to do is to meditate on that spectre of her future, however vague it is, and give it a name. “Blue skies” “Mobility” “Freedom” “Self-reliance” Self-Discovery” And to keep that theme in her mind and get rid of eveything that doesn’t align with that image, that impulse. Keep in mind, we only use about 20% of what we own in any given category of our lives: we listen to the same 20% of our CD collection, refer to the same 20% of information in files, wear the same 20% of our wardrobe over and over. So, if your friend is being “forced” to get rid of 80% of her belongings, that’s not a bad thing. Her proactive step is to identify her 20%—what are the treasures that she truly uses, and truly loves, the objects that most energize her and that she uses all the time.
By Julie Morgenstern on 04/04/2008 11:13 pm
Bella Mia
Yes, thank you, I will pass that along. She is already down to the bare minimum as she has sold and shed things over the last 2 years - having never replaced what her husband moved out with 5 years ago. I will try and find places for her to store her remaining items. It just reminds me of the final scene in Out of Africa, where Meryl Streep is having her “tag” sale.
By Bella Mia on 04/07/2008 10:38 am
Eleanor Parker
Julie, I’m delighted to see you here. I’ve been a hoarder all my life, and the first progress in organizing my home I’ve _ever_ made was after reading (and rereading) “Organizing From the Inside Out.” I sing the praises of your book to all my friends as well as the people in my Hoarding therapy group. I specifically tout your compassion for the people embarking on the journey to an organized life. I’ve been making progress, albeit slow, on my kitchen for the past 6 weeks. One thing I encountered was some unwritten “rules” about the right way to organize my cabinets. For example, I used to think one cabinet could contain food, or it could contain dishes and glasses, but there could be no cross categories. After you loosened my thinking, I now have “mixed” cabinets that are working much better. Thank you so much!!
By Eleanor Parker on 04/05/2008 12:13 am
Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye
Eleanor, Thanks for this recommendation I’ll get the book right away for a friend who has been asking me to come her ‘spring clean/organize.’ Her adult daughter started the project with her but was ready to tear her hair out after two days. And i can’t do that now if wanted to—which I don’t! She’s a natural born saver, I’m a natural ‘pitcher.’ Can envision us taking a year going through two stories item by item with an emotional discussion of each. Love my friend but I have the excuse of my broken foot. So I’ll send Julie’s book that comes so highly recommended by you! Serendipity!
By Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye on 04/05/2008 2:12 am
Julie Morgenstern
Eleanor, Good for you….so glad you figured out a way to organize your kitchen the way you think. Also glad to hear you are taking your time getting your kitchen in order. I’m sure it will be extremely satisfying…and easy to maintain once you are done. Keep up the awesome work.
By Julie Morgenstern on 04/05/2008 5:44 pm
Mugsy Peabody
Anyone know of any good Bay Area clutter or hoarding groups?
By Mugsy Peabody on 04/05/2008 12:59 am
Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye
Mugsy, Go on meetup.com and try a number of searches….ie I keyed in declutter and got that plus “the messies” ha! and things like that…but I put in a SF zipcode.
By Buh-Bye Hillary Hillary Buh-Bye on 04/05/2008 1:21 am
Mugsy Peabody
Oh, Suzanne, it’s not for me. It’s for, it’s for, oh, you know, it’s for “a friend.” I asked my mother one time why middle-aged people had so much stuff, and she said, “Well, you know, eventually the stuff wins.” Julie, one time I was shedding, and I found THREE copies of your book. Sat on the floor and laughed for an hour. Then gave one to the library and one to my friend.
By Mugsy Peabody on 04/05/2008 10:54 pm
Pamela Munro
Glad to see that someone realizes the difference between having stuff you want to use efficiently and just tossing everything! I have musical instruments, music, a huge wardrobe, books, a home office - electronics - all in a one bedroom urban apartment. Yes, some tossing is on the agendy - & we just did get a lovely new computer desk + hutch to organize that corner of our livingroom…But we could use some more ROOM. And I HAVE to somehow organize my bedroom/wardrobe closet!
By Pamela Munro on 04/05/2008 7:35 pm
Taffy Davenport
I recently moved from a one-bedroom apartment of about 600 square feet to an efficiency of about 200 sq ft, so naturally I had to divest myself of an enormous amount of stuff. While I’m (fortunately) not a hoarder, having lived in that apartment for 14 years meant that I’d accumulated a great deal of various items: clothes I rarely or never wore, extra bedding, household and personal “supplies”, music CDs, DVDs, kitchen items (cookware and canned food that I’d bought just because it was On Sale). You get the idea. The hardest part for me was not so much figuring out what to keep and what to get rid of as just finding a new home for things that I knew I really didn’t need anymore. I live in a very affluent area, so the local Goodwill is picky about what they’ll take. Freecycle turned into a disappointment after I wasted an entire day several times waiting for people who just never showed up after making commitments to do so. (Although I must admit that 80% of the time Freecycle worked great, those few lousy times pretty much soured me on the whole thing.) I eventually got to the point where I was considering mugging people on the street just to give them my things, after my friends and co-workers had already taken all the offerings they wanted. The most helpful thing that someone can do to assist a friend or acquaintance who needs to downsize or reorganize is to offer a place for storage. My brother’s mother-in-law, who has a relatively empty basement, offered to let me store some things there, and it was a tremendous relief to know that I could keep those things there until I need to retrieve them. Living in a very small space is liberating. I know that there is not a whole lot of anything that I REALLY need. I’ve also created some emergency bags, for the purpose of having a minimal amount of necessities in case of fire or natural disaster, and that’s also illuminating. However, I do find comfort in having things on the wall: posters, mirrors. I like a lot of bookshelves with stacks of books on them just for the ambience. I’m hardly a minimalist, and I just laugh when I see most photos of “decorated” environments, because they rarely look like people actually live in them (at least without servants to constantly keep them spotless).
By Taffy Davenport on 04/05/2008 8:38 pm
Emma Pathey
I can so relate to Taffy. I love having my posters, paintings and photos on the walls and having lots of shelves crammed with my books. I feel like I am in my own little cocoon when I get home after a crazy day at work. I find it very calming to look at the beautiful things I have. They may not have any intrinsic value but to me they are very precious. And, of course, I have far too many clothes and shoes!
By Emma Pathey on 04/07/2008 12:07 am
S.E. S
I cannot do one without the other and I’m constantly doing both. :) SES http://www.metalcyberspace.com
By S.E. S on 04/07/2008 1:21 am
J B
It is time to shed here. Our youngest child will (please God!) go off to college in seven years. We plan to sell the two homes we own and move to Hilton Head S.C. to live out the rest of our days. I know it will take every day of that seven years to get rid of the clutter we have accumulated!!
By J B on 04/07/2008 7:04 am
Bella Mia
Books, I’m drowning in books. I’ve thought about selling them on amazon -but haven’t set up and account. I want to know how to inculcate the clean gene into children. I’ve been telling them to pick up their things, and put their plates in the sink for years. I came downstairs last night and my 16 and 18 year old had both left their plates on the table - and just walked away. If I tell them a million and one times, they complain that I’m nagging. What does it take??
By Bella Mia on 04/07/2008 10:43 am