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A Friend Stopped By | 02/24/2009 6:00 am

Dee Dee Myers Reveals Why Harvard's Women's Rooms Say It All

Bill Clinton’s former press secretary and author of Why Women Should Rule the World explains how a well-stocked Ivy League restroom can reflect the wise ways of women
By Dee Dee Myers
Dee Dee Myers, former White House Press Secretary

Author of Why Women Should Rule the World

Editor’s Note: Political analyst and Vanity Fair contributing editor Dee Dee Myers is the author of Why Women Should Rule the World, just published in paperback. Formerly the White House press secretary for President Bill Clinton, she is a popular lecturer on politics, the media and women’s issues.

When President Obama nominated Elena Kagan, Dean of the Harvard Law School, as the first woman to serve as solicitor general of the United States, stories of Kagan’s intelligence and humility immediately began making the rounds. All eight of her immediate predecessors endorsed her for the post that is often described as the "10th justice," the person who represents the U.S. government before the Supreme Court; one even described her as "awesomely intelligent."

But equally impressive to me was a somewhat less lofty anecdote. Once, while attending a conference off campus, Kagan stepped into the ladies’ room and found a basket neatly stacked with free tampons. "It’s such a small thing, but it says a lot about whether a place cares about its women," she said. A few months later, every women’s bathroom at Harvard had a supply of tampons.

A small thing, to be sure. But small things can become big things.

A few years ago, a couple of women scientists at UCLA got to discussing the different ways they and their male colleagues dealt with their demanding jobs. "There was this old joke that when the women who worked in the lab were stressed, they came in, cleaned the lab, had coffee and bonded," said Dr. Laura Cousino Klein. "When the men were stressed, they holed up somewhere on their own." Dr. Klein and a fellow researcher wondered if there was more to their observation. When they looked at the data, they found that when men are stressed, they get in someone’s face — or retreat into their proverbial caves. Women also experience this "fight or flight" response — but they were more likely to respond to stress by hanging out with their kids or talking things over with a colleague, friend or family member.

Why? In part, biology. When they are stressed, both men and women produce oxytocin, a hormone that increases bonding and decreases anxiety in some animals. But estrogen, the female hormone, actually boosts the effects of oxytocin, while testosterone, the male hormone, blocks it. So when women are stressed, their brains start cranking out the oxytocin, which compels them to reach out to their friends and families, which helps them relax, which stimulates the production of even more oxytocin. Next thing you know, they’re cleaning the lab, drinking coffee, comparing notes — and making scientific breakthroughs.

The simple fact is: Men and women often experience the world differently. And that experience influences what we buy, what we read and what we watch, who we vote for and how we lead. It shapes our priorities and values. It makes us who we are. And when we include — and respect — these different points of view, we broaden the dialogue, expand the scope of inquiry, change the way we think. We make business more efficient. We make government more responsive. We get better science, better schools and better courts. It matters that there will be a woman in the solicitor general’s office. And in the secretary of state’s office. And in the speaker’s office. And in countless other offices across the country.

It matters not only because the women can do their jobs as well as their male predecessors. It also matters because they see things differently. Even if those differences start with something as simple as a tampon.

 

2009_0224_deedeebook.jpg
Dee Dee Myers’s Why Women Should Rule the World is now available in paperback. Click here to purchase it.

43 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

CYNTHIA NEIL
Wonderful!  I will look for the book, but truth be told; you’ve summed it all up beautifully in 7 paragraphs.   I love being a woman, there is a grace that we can find in each other, and our support of each other which men miss out on.
By CYNTHIA NEIL on 02/24/2009 7:14 am
Rainbow Power

I agree Cynthia.  We seem to be the "desired" gender. 

I would much rather go into a restroom marked with a woman sign and find a tampon in a basket than go into the Male/Female marked restroom and find a metal condom machine with red, yellow, blue and the infamous tickle-me-pink ribbed version.  Icky seat, pee on the floor and/or a flushing pee pot on the wall just doesn’t do it for me. 

 Long live women!

 

 

p.s.  Dr. Klein??????

By Rainbow Power on 02/24/2009 8:33 am
Mugsy Peabody

Yep.  Okay, here’s the text of Pres. Obama’s speech before Congress:

http://mugsypeabody.blogspot.com/

By Mugsy Peabody on 02/25/2009 12:50 am
Gramma J
Wonderful article!  And I totally agree. 
By Gramma J on 02/24/2009 8:58 am
DeBúrca obj
This is the first article in wowOwow that I felt compelled to print!
By DeBúrca obj on 02/24/2009 9:04 am
DeBúrca obj
… twice! One for my daughter and one for my husband.
By DeBúrca obj on 02/24/2009 9:06 am
Belinda Joy
DeeDee rocks! It takes a special kind of women to stand with men, walk with men, talk with men WITHOUT attempting to be like a man. That is a distinction that few women recognize. They feel they must emulate men in order to fit in and assimilate. If you are self assured in who you are, your beliefs and moral compass, you will recognize you can be the woman that you are without sacrificing parts of your core being just to be accepted by men in this world. It’s sort of like the expression about not having to shout to be heard. Women sometimes think that is the only way they can be heard, when nothing is farther from the truth. DeeDee’s book illustrates this by way of highlighting women who let their voices be heard and they didn’t have to shout. They were simply clear, decisive and on point, and in doing so they gained the respect from their male peers that was due them.
By Belinda Joy on 02/24/2009 9:07 am
Ms. Dee
Good information.  And fairly reassuring.  But like Belinda says, there are still a lot of women who think the best strategy for success is to "fight the feeling" and barge ahead.  I don’t think you can lump us all in the same community-oriented category.  Carli Fiorina leaps to mind.
By Ms. Dee on 02/24/2009 9:39 am
phyllis Doyle Pepe

As if Zimbabwe’s inflation and dysfunctional government weren’t worrisome enough, the nation’s vice-president has now found herself under investigation for setting up an illegal business deal.

Authorities in Europe claim that Joyce Mujuru, Zimbabwe’s first female vice-president, worked behind the scenes to sell Congolese gold, a deal from which she’s prohibited by international sanctions.

As Ms Dee says, let’s not lump all the females into one big gene pool––I, for one, haven’t found a great difference between males and females in terms of getting a good job done, among other things. There are slackers and hackers in every sex as the above account indicates. 

By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 02/24/2009 3:01 pm
Ms. Dee
Thanks, Phyllis.  Agreement is a good thing.
By Ms. Dee on 02/24/2009 3:18 pm
Grande Camper

I do agree with you guys.  Not everyone is the same or should try to fit the same hole, so to speak.

The book still sounds interesting.  I would read it!

By Grande Camper on 02/24/2009 9:57 am
Buh- Bye
I love Dee Dee Myers.  I also sent links of this article onto my peeps.
By Buh- Bye on 02/24/2009 10:11 am
Sam Mirando

When my daughter was in her first year as an undergrad at Harvard, she told us that she had some official role on her staircase.  I forget the exact name but it was something like, "Freshman Rep."  I asked her about her responsibilities and she said, "Basically, I’m the ‘Condom Lady.’  It’s my responsibility to make sure that there are always condoms in a basket outside my door.  Recently, I had to make an extra ‘condom run’ to the University Health Services because a guy on the football team was expecting his girlfriend for a long weekend."

Way to go, Harvard!  Free tampons AND free condoms.

By Sam Mirando on 02/24/2009 12:27 pm
phyllis Doyle Pepe
My, lord, what would Phyllis Shaftley say? Corruption of the young! Decrecation of the pure! In my day males weren’t even allowed past the waiting room in the dorms. So kids went to motels. A lot of bloody sheets and unwanted pregnancies. Condoms and Tampons––sounds like the beginning of a new poem,doncha think, Sam?
By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 02/24/2009 2:50 pm
Sam Mirando

(With apologies to Yale and Harvard, of course, and to pretty much everyone else…)

Bright College years, with pleasure rife,
The shortest, gladdest years of life;
And with all those cute guys passing by,
At Harvard, time does quickly fly!

The seasons come, the seasons go,
And we girls have wild oats to sow:
Tampons and condoms are free here, you know,
(And time and change shall naught avail.)
So to get knocked up, just go to Yale.

In after years, should troubles rise
To cloud the blue of sunny skies,
How bright will seem, through mem’ry’s haze
Those condoms for which the college pays!

Oh, let us strive that ever we
May let these words our watch-cry be
,
Where’er upon life’s sea we sail:
"Free intimate products for each female"

 

 

By Sam Mirando on 02/24/2009 4:26 pm