“No I am not for the dumping of children, either. I am for fixing the system that brings families to this desperate action.” So you agree with me then - at least in part. A drop-off policy for older children is a ridiculous and lazy response to a complex problem. The descriptions you give are of blameless sad individual cases - but this is not always the case in whatever socio-economic status. Certainly you understand that there actually are people who set themselves and their families up for major problems - yes/no? You’ve lumped me in with an entire faceless monster populace which you believe is of one mind and to blame for the problems of theses kids. You are just as much part of the public as anyone else - you ought to stop pointing fingers at others who also want to see it fixed but are not in 100% agreement with you on social theory. You know so much - you fix it or at least stop assigning blame where it doesn’t belong. You are no more or less right or wrong than I am.

In most of the instances I have read about where older children were involved, poverty wasn’t the problem as much as the parent expressing “I can’t handle this child anymore; this is my last hope.” Granted, I can’t even imagine the literal act of driving hundreds of miles with my own child and then dumping them somewhere and leaving. It is heartless and traumatizing. But I have lived and been held hostage by a troubled child in my home who has since become a very angry young adult, so there is a part of me that could understand the desperation and hopelessness that might provoke such an action.

Greetings to all, My family and I just attended National Adoption Day today, we adopted a family members child who is 15. She and her 5 year old sister were adopted. The girls maternal grandmother who is my Aunt is taking the 5 year old. There home became torn apart the last 3 years due to meth use and them the parents lost everything and kept using, eventually they lost their house and they were unable to straighten out enough to keep their kids. I feel bad for their parents but they continue to make bad choices. We knew going in that there was a possibility that we could go from foster care to adoption and that was okay with us. We are blessed to have our new daughter and she is a teenager we also have a 15 year old son and an 11 year old, parenting teenagers is hard and not for the faint of heart. I am not justifying or vilifying what these parents did because I do not know the circumstances. I heard the man that had several children was a widower with many children and another woman had desperately tried to get medical help for her child’s mental health needs, I don’t know how you rectify these issues but it seems some of these families had needed help and weren’t finding it. Some of it may be financial, some of it may be negligence, some of it may be parents at their wits end and not knowing where to find help or resources. I haven’t heard if any of these children’s parents were addicts or abusive or just didn’t give a damn but if they were not what does that say about us as a country or society if people can;t find help. i would also children be taken somewhere safe instead of things we all hear on the news about children being found murdered starved beaten neglected or abused those are far worse or children who just run away or disappear never to be seen or heard from again perhaps because they are prostituted out by pimps. Last point to those of you who talk about who would want to adopt a teenager, let me just tell you they told us today in our state of Kansas alone there are 850 children waiting to be adopted and lots more in foster care and I think about 150,000 kids nationwide needing homes, I bet we have 850 families in my state that are Pro life and picket while I got a better job for them it is called parenthood and adoption, they need to put their money where there mouth is and help to change a child’s life a flesh and blood child not just a fetus. These children need love regardless of their age and the ones that are older they feel unwanted they know people want younger kids and it is so sad. It is an honor and a privilege to adopt our daughter and this experience has changed our life’s and our opinion of the problem so before you judge these young people maybe you might try giving some of your time to the agencies that are involved remember Jesus said whatever you do for the least of these you do for me. As far as the parents go all you can do for them is to pray. The people who work for Youthville in my state who is the agency that works with SRS has some great people who go out of their way, not all of them great but many of them and most of them are overworked and underpaid and take in emergency kids as well and they do not get enough thanks and many burn out because of what they see.

Thank you for understanding. There are some aweful parents out there, true. But most I think only want the best for their children. But sometimes circumstances make that impossible. And while putting infants up for adoption is allowed the States are not supportive of placing older children up for adoption and sometimes won’t allow it at all. So what is a parent to do when circumstances are impossible and there is nowhere or no one to turn to.