Close Encounters of the Clooney Kind

At a recent party at “21” in New York City to celebrate the opening of the new film, “Leatherheads,” I had terrific encounters with both George Clooney and Bruce Willis, who happen to be two of my favorite guys. George and I talked about our mutual friend, the late Ann Richards of Texas. Bruce and I discussed his new ladylove, the Victoria’s Secret model, Emma Heming. He said his entire life up to now had been a preparation for loving her! wowOwow! What a remark.

Courtesy of Patrick McMullan

This led me to thinking of the great question of celebrity-chasing: What do you say when you actually encounter a famous name, and how do you avoid sounding stupid, lame and like everybody else?

Peter Bart, who is the editor in chief of Variety, wrote about this the other day, saying fans usually offer up some version of “What’s happenin,’ dude?” which makes them feel “in,” but may offend the celebrity. Others say, “I’ve always been your biggest fan” which is okay, but a little trite. (People often reverse this without thinking, saying, “You are my biggest fan!” Celebrities hear this one all the time.) Mr. Bart noted that we all grasp for some straw of familiarity with the famous.

With the candor of long experience, Mr. Bart writes: “Richard Widmark will always be remembered as the giggling killer in ‘Kiss of Death,’ but he was truly a kind and gentle man. So was stony-faced Charles Bronson … Henry Fonda would bite your head off if you approached … and seemingly cerebral elder statesmen like George C. Scott would simply turn their backs. Try talking to a comedian like Garry Shandling and you can see why people paid Pellicano to come up with some dirt … Bill Maher is as convivial as David Letterman is famously testy.” Then he names George Clooney and Tom Cruise as being “as doggedly diplomatic as Tommy Lee Jones is distanced.”

So when Mr. Bart ran into Mick Jagger recently, he tells this: “I tried the following: ‘Mick, I think we have one thing in common. We both went to the London School of Economics.’” Jagger said, “Well, at least I didn’t learn anything there. At least, that’s what people want me to say. No one pays to see an entertainer who went to the friggin’ London School of Economics.”

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