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Jane Wagner | 03/12/2008 11:08 am

Confessions of a Couch Potato

Zoe Buckman

I admit it: when it comes to my remote control, I have no control. I am hopelessly addicted to the enigmatic "Brain Wave State" induced by pushing the remote power button and seeing the first image flash on. When my housekeeper has put the remote somewhere — like in the laundry — and I can’t find it, I panic just like a junkie desperate for a fix.

As time goes on, it seems I care less and less what the image is. It’s the act of watching, itself, that seems to be the endorphin releaser. I used to be so selective, so discerning about what I watched — not anymore.

I just want — need to be on the couch, watching — whatever. In fact, I almost always dial switch, in and out and round about, a special kind of addiction in and of itself. I am on the couch, but I might as well be on crack. I have this craving for TV — not for any particular shows, as I said, but for the experience of TV itself.

Along with the good feelings of escapism, this craving and the giving into it makes me feel guilty, so I almost always have a book in my lap, reading and watching TV contrapuntally — be forewarned, this also can become addictive.

Reading a book expiates the guilt of so much TV watching and I think some kind of endorphins get released from the expiation of all that guilt. This gets very tricky, but I guess I brought all this up because I’m worried that I would rather stay home and do what I’ve just described than go out to the theatre or concerts or you name it.

As you’re reading this, maybe it sounds like my life is empty, but, it’s not.

Why is it when you read a lot of books, you’re considered well-read; however, when you watch a lot of TV, you’re not well-viewed?

My life seems fulfilling — enriching even — not nearly as empty as it seems anyway. Of course, that’s helped by the fact that I have a wonderful partner who, luckily, I guess you could say, has the same addiction as I do. In fact, I think of us sometimes as the Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown of TV addiction. They kicked crack after kicking each other around a bit; however, we don’t want to kick our habit — and you have to really want to or it won’t work.

I recall that book, Amusing Ourselves to Death — but my partner and I can’t think of a better way of going.

99 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

kit Cat
Whoopie I would love to hear your thoughts! You’re dynamic with down to earth, refreshing and honest ‘takes’ of this silly world…speak woman! :)
By kit Cat on 03/12/2008 11:25 pm
Laura Walker
Jane — How wonderful to “see” you again. I wondered where you’d gone. Sounds like you’re creative as ever!! I read about the site a couple of weeks ago in one of the major newspapers, wrote it down, sent the site address to my friends, and lo and behold: it came round to me! I feel like this is a comfy get-away beach house — complete with girlfriends — where we can discuss the “good” stuff. Congrats on the site!
By Laura Walker on 03/13/2008 12:10 am
Kathy Ricketts-Moncur
Contrapuntally? Thank you Jane for the new word…I shall endeavour to use it later today! I love the couch, but struggle with the guilt. I cannot do more than one thing (other than fold laundry) while watching. But thankfully I don’t watch very much…news, live sports, and the occasional Coronation Street (a British soap). My husband and I occasionally indulge in the food network and dream that Nigella is coming over to whip up a meal.
By Kathy Ricketts-Moncur on 03/13/2008 6:11 am
Jacque Bowling
Okay, Attention Brenda Post!! Hey girl. First and formost I am so very sorry about your lose.That kind of thing is for life. But looking for a man. Well quit looking first off. I know I am married and I should keep my mouth shut (which is nearly impossible by the way). Lets focus on Brenda first. Brenda is a smart, loving, beautiful human being (am I right girls?) who can live life without a man in it. Oh sure the sex is nice (if you can get him to do it right). Having someone in your life is wonderful (if they clean up after themselves) and someone to sit with on the couch to watch TV is wonderful ( as long as its not WWF and the Pussycat doll show).But just don’t go looking for him in a bar..ugh (sorry to those of you who found love in a bar, I found love at a college beer party but that is besides the point and I was 19years old)… Lets put it this way, if you are going to find a man to love you, your children, your dog, your career, ALL of YOU, he might show up sooner or later. Lets find groups for you to join, do you like to scrapbook? Do one of your mom or kids. How about going to church (or whatever you want to go to). Or better yet, watch the Bachelor (British invasion) and thank heavens your not one of THOSE poor girls. Blessings
By Jacque Bowling on 03/13/2008 7:15 am
LM Rider
I fall in and out of love with the t.v. like I do with all activities in my life. All of them are enjoyed in cycles depending on mood, seasons, etc. T.V. is great in the winter months when we can have a fire going and all sit around and watch t.v. as a family….now that the kids are older and we don’t have to watch the same “Barney” tape 5 times a day! But during the spring, who wants to sit in the house on the couch when the yard is ready for planting, mulching…primping? And in the summer I would much rather sit by the pool with a book or the newspaper and chat with real live people. I’ll leave my time for t.v. for the bad weather days - and I really do love the t.v. on those days. And more so now that we have On-Demand and the flat panel HDTV :) I have to add that back in the fall when I laid in bed through chemo treatments, I don’t know how I would have gotten through without the television….I was a bed potato!
By LM Rider on 03/13/2008 8:23 am
Jami Christopher
Great article…I really loved it, was like reading about myself. I too am a television addict. The difference between going out and watching TV……I dont have to get dressed up, put on makeup, or any of those other things that we all do so we look good, all I have to do is get on the couch and turn it on.
By Jami Christopher on 03/13/2008 9:01 am
Dyana Flax
I was happily watching tv and doing all the stuff I do when my retired husband said, “How can you watch these cooking shows over and over?” Well, I have listened to sports all our married life so I replied, “When I watch these cooking show it makes me a better cook, but watching baseball will never make you a better player.” Ugly, I know but don’t attack my tv I love it on all the time! PS, I’m a great cook!
By Dyana Flax on 03/13/2008 1:00 pm
D.C. HALL
Yes, I watch too much TV, but, I am trying hard to find healthier activities that use more calories. I do take comfort in the fact that my addiction to TV is not NEARLY as bad as being addicted to eight thousand dollars an hour HOOKERS! I believe people are creatures of free will…we may have GREAT DIFFICULTY controlling our desires, but we CAN control them if we WANT TO bad enough . Be that watching TV or having sex with the wrong partners! If we CAN’T control ourselves, we would be like the animals, would we not?
By D.C. HALL on 03/13/2008 3:18 pm
Ms. Dee
We are animals. Ethics don’t eliminate our standing as members of the animal kingdom. It’s just, they say we are the intelligent species. We just aren’t smart enough to get along. We still do things without thinking.
By Ms. Dee on 04/15/2008 6:45 pm
teeny keels
tv is evil…go outside and throw a frisbee
By teeny keels on 03/14/2008 12:47 am
W G
My daughter and I participated in the National TV Turn-Off week for many years. I was even part of a study where I went without television for three months. I believe Dr. Barbara Backer was in charge of that study. I could go the rest of my life without ever watching the tube again. (Now… my computer… that is a different story. I know there is a name for people like me… one who is always craving more information, wanting to know more about the migration of the sandhill crane, or how a GPS works, how many other books my latest favorite author has written, what did I just eat at that Chinese restaurant, etc…) My dream home would have no television.
By W G on 03/14/2008 5:57 am
cmk55 kolen
Tivo changed my world, am able to watch everything that I want when I want, I don’t like watching during the day. At night I love getting into bed and catching up on my programs. Mostly Showtime, HBO, etc. I am not big on network sitcoms, etc. But if there is something interesting on Oprah, CBS morning, etc. 60 minutes, etc. it’s there on my DVR. Can’t imagine how people live without it. Too much to do and Too little time!
By cmk55 kolen on 03/14/2008 11:09 am
S.E. S
I went 5 years without watching any TV 1998-2003 (except for one day 9/11) then I discovered the batteries had leaked, rotted and dried in my remote. Now I have a new TV/VCR/DVD/CD player & remote which I leave on but mostly listen to through my wireless headset while I work. SES http://www.sarantos.com
By S.E. S on 03/14/2008 12:51 pm
KAREN W
I soooo agree! I LOVE tv, my computer and a good book! Give me all three of these and I am a happy camper!!
By KAREN W on 03/14/2008 3:07 pm
Judy m.
Now I feel better! I was thinking that I was alone in my floating through tvland and computerworld. I love to find old,old movies,I use the tv for company in the background as I wander the web. I can actually listen,read and email all at the same time. I will no longer feel that these are inferior habits-as my husband is likely to say. Rather, I think it takes a superior female mind to be able to use all these abilities. I doubt there are many men who could do this!
By Judy m. on 03/14/2008 6:26 pm