Wow! Being able to enjoy where one is at any particular point in time is the ultimate sense of peace. Isn’t it nice to have left those childish things behind?

I love this, it is so true, and when you love where you are and who you are, and what you were given, it is surpising how many others want the same.

Love this one…but, I need to know, was Lucille’s husbend on Viagra or something like it? That can be a problem, you know. It’s all in the fine print in the ads. Also, it sounds like your girl turned into something like a Virtual…every body part filled out or enhanced, or replaced. Is that the ultimate acceptance of self…? I don’t know. So this is making me ponder. And that’s good.

I can relate to the women who wanted to be in a size eight. I once not that long ago could fit into a size 1 I still have a pair of purple from ten grade they use to look so well on me. Them my doctors decided that I should have a feeding tube. Because I could not eat anything and the pain was becoming unbearable. I know they saved my life a long with Gods hands but now I were an 8 or sometimes a 7. My husband says he does not mind I look fine. But you have to feel good in your own body. I just wish I could get my thighs thinner,feeling fat is not what one should feel. One should feel that they are beautiful and with the help of My Husband and a dear sweet Friend I am starting to bur I still try to eat small meals and small exercise that can help me losses these thighs.

Yeah, I know how that feels. IT SUCKS! I don’t know if I can get used to being a ‘Large’ or if I have to. It’s just a size, but it says something in a whisper in my ear, ” Large is what you are because you can’t be a Medium any more.” And whose fault is that? Well, the discussion goes down hill after that……….

I am a 10  in jeans and an 8 in dresses and skirts - a year ago I was teetering between an 18 and a 20… I haven’t been a 10 since I was 16, 19 years ago, and all those years of being really fat I always thought, if only I could be a 14, or even a 12 - then I would be so happy. I would walk (or waddel) around and think - "she’s smaller than me, she’s smaller than me" I walk into a conference room and think, "I’m the heaviest person here- I bet I’m heavier than the men too." 

 But, I never did anything about it until I was put on medication (at age 33) to help with my pre-diabetic decline. After a year of failing to take control of myself and actually gaining more weight I joined a program (not going to adverspam about it) and a gym, and I’m getting of the medication and setting a good example for my daughter and my son. I’ve lost 40 pounds and I have a good 25 left to my goal (I’m very short). I could be happy forever in an eight, but I need to lose that extra weight to eliminate the rest of my elevated risk factors.

God, we focus so so so much in our country about being thin and being pretty and being other than we are. When that was my focus I always failed. When my focus became, "Damn I can easily recite the names of at least 36 children who fought for their lives and lost and another 500 who are fighting including my son and HOW DARE I not take care of this body when there’s nothing wrong with it I didn’t do myself" - well that’s when things changed. And none too soon as my MIL was recently dx’d with breast cancer - my poor kids have the deck stacked against them.

Now, after years of being plus sized it’s weird to wear a medium or even small top.  It’s weird when men look at me when I’m so very used to being overlooked, and it’s weirdest of all because that wasn’t my intention - my intention was simply "don’t die young" "don’t get diabetes" and "don’t pass this sick heritage of obesity and dangerous weight loss I inherited from the women before me to my daughter."

It’s fiction that she writes, but it’s too true. Why are we like that? I was so unhappy for so long wanting to look not even as good as I look today, and I don’t enjoy looking better as much as I enjoy my energy, my relief that I’m doing right by my kids, and my faith that what I’m investing in my health will pay off for generations to come. Why don’t we think of health when we think of our bodies? Why does it take a collision course with chronic disease to finally see the light about what really matters? I don’t know, but I’m glad I saw the light. Cuter clothes - that’s just a nice afterglow.