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Dear Margo | 02/11/2009 11:00 pm

Dear Margo: Not All Mothers Are in Their Right Minds

Margo Howard’s smart and endearing advice column now lives right here at wowOwow.com. A big welcome to her and all of her beloved Yahoo! readers
Margo Howard

Not All Mothers Are in Their Right Minds 

DEAR MARGO: I am the stepmother to two children whose mother is nuts. This woman acquired a lot of money in her third marriage and is raising these children to worship the dollar. The tween daughters are lavished with Vuitton and Chanel purses. They are taught to befriend only the wealthy kids at their school. The topper is that even though they are under 14, they have been subjected to cosmetic surgeries (one having a nose job, the other fixing a scar that the kid "didn’t like" in an inconspicuous place). Their father and I adamantly opposed these surgeries, as one occurred when the child was 7! The doctor admitted it was unnecessary, but said the mom made the final decision and it "wouldn’t hurt the child." Anytime we discuss beauty being on the inside, the kids respond as though we just don’t want to pay our share and it’s all about the money. Their mother has had several plastic surgeries and in my opinion is addicted. We are never told of these procedures until after they have occurred, and then we receive the bill for half. How do we combat this? How can we get it through to these children that they don’t need to be enhanced? — EXASPERATED

DEAR EX: This is kind of pathetic. Between the designer bags and the plastic surgery, these kids don’t stand a chance of growing up with values that matter. All you can do for the children is keep beating the drum that they are fine as they are and that your values are different from their mother’s. Ironic that Mrs. Got Rocks (in her head) would be ahead of the game if she spent her time and money on a shrink instead of a plastic surgeon, but that is unlikely to happen. There is nothing you can do about her, but you are not without options. Because you didn’t approve these medical expenses, you need not pay half. You might consider going to family court to call a moratorium on cosmetic surgery for minors. You could also file a complaint against the doctor with the medical society. Realistically, resign yourself to doing the best you can with these two little Paris Hiltons. — MARGO, UNENTHUSIASTICALLY

Lost in the Garden of Eden

DEAR MARGO: I was involved in a one-night stand with my pastor. This is a man I have known for a very long time. We agreed to stop because of our positions in the church and the fact that we are both married. I never even had a crush on him, but since he lured me to share the forbidden fruit I find I am lusting for him and wish we could continue. Please tell me how I can deal with this. — BURNING WITH DESIRE

DEAR BURN: Oh, my. Well, one thing we already know is that yours is not the first clergyman to have a fall from grace. Do give him credit, however, for deciding to sin no more. As for how you can deal with this, I would hunt down the appropriate chapters in the Bible having to do with adultery and fidelity. If you find you cannot displace your desire for this man and have trouble believing in talking snakes, consider going to another church and recommitting yourself to the Ten Commandments. — Margo, correctively

Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered. To read more about Margo Howard, click here.

COPYRIGHT 2009 MARGO HOWARD
DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.

Every Thursday and Friday, you can find "Dear Margo" and her latest words of wisdom on our home page at www.wowowow.com. Or better yet, click to sign up for an instant email alert that will send a message right to your in-box every time a new "Dear Margo" column is posted on wowOwow. Just click here for instant sign up.

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Got a question for "Dear Margo?" Send via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com.




35 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Tina Walden
My husbands ex-wife several times had the children have medical treatment without his consent for ridiculous things (one of his daughters actually had plastic surgery to have the size of her labia reduced supposedly because it kept causing infections. When they came to see us, I found that they were wearing underwear that was 3 sizes to small, the true reason for infections). Even though the court had said that they both had shared custody and that all medical treatment had to be agreed to, she would get it done and used my insurance for it, even if he disagreed. I can fully understand that the surgery could have been done and then they find out afterwards. After the second medical treatment without our consent we petitioned the court ourselves and were told that as long as they were living with her and she thought it was needed, we had no say at all. (until they committed one of the children and then the court gave me (the stepmom) medical guardianship. Sad but true of the courts that they are unconcerned unless it can be proved detrimental.
By Tina Walden on 02/15/2009 4:36 pm
Josie Sullivan
I’m not a mother (other than to my dog), but when I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets really crowded.
By Josie Sullivan on 02/16/2009 11:51 pm
Laurie Laurie
Wow…one night stand with your pastor…is it wrong that I find that kinda hot? lol where’s the holy water…
By Laurie Laurie on 04/01/2009 4:41 pm
Louise Browning

#1…if there’s any way u can get custody of those girls, u should. The 7 yr.old can be changed, the 12 yr. old…well that may be a bit more difficult! That mother isn’t doing either girl any favor. In fact, if u can get custody, she may have to pay u child support! She apparently has plenty of $$$! I agree with the other writers, 7 is way too young for that type of surgery, & if a judge has any sense @ all he/she will see it. A scar, sometimes gives a persons face  a little personality & can be an asset, but u stated the scar wasn’t visible, so why?? Just bcuz the girl doesn’t like it is no reason to have surgery! I don’t think I’d want to be around either of these girls in a few yrs. if this sort of thing continues. Damn shame, too.  

By Louise Browning on 05/16/2009 7:02 pm
Louise Browning
#2…… for goodness sake, get ahold of urself!! It was a 1 nite stand, not a full blown affair!! Or was it? U stated that he "lured" u into this 1 nite stand, but u sound like it’s been an on-going affair! IF he did "lure" u, he should be reported not only to the governing board, but to the police. U don’t know if he’s done this b4 with women or girls! First things first, tell ur husband & then decide on the proper form of action to take. For all u know he could be having these 1 nite stands with underage girls, luring them to his web. Quit lusting after this guy, get urself together, & start lusting after ur husband!
By Louise Browning on 05/16/2009 7:16 pm