Oh, Phyllis…this is so beautiful. The essence of love.

Maurine—Absolutely. I didn’t even know about M’s death until I read it in the NYT’s obits. I did not know he had been ill; his obit was a major shock. J. was never the same after the treatment he received from M’s family. I kept asking him out, calling him to make sure he was okay, knocked on his door, sent postcards about museum showings, dinner parties, etc., when he didn’t answer his phone … after a few years I didn’t give up exactly, but I could tell he was going to be in mourning for a long, long, time. M. was a great man. Anyone who met him for a nanosecond could tell you that. J. was a bright, vibrant light in my life before this happened, and he fizzled like no one I had ever seen before. He was so in love, and he was the one who was left ALIVE. This destruction affected so many people, and it WAS destruction. If my boyfriend and I could not discuss our heterosexual relationship openly for fear of insensitive insults, I would go nuts too. I haven’t seen J. in years, and I tried every method available. I think he moved away. I think about him often. I am scared for his health. I love him like a brother and I hope he is still alive and doing something great with his life.