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A Friend Stopped By | 06/26/2008 10:00 am

Message to All Whining Female Democrats: Hillary's Out. Get Over It, by Barbara Goldsmith

By Barbara Goldsmith
© iStock

Editor’s Note: Barbara Goldsmith is a prize-winning bestselling author and historian. She served on the Presidential Commission for the Celebration of Women in America History during President Clinton’s administration.

"Whoever is set up to be president of the United States is just set up to have his character torn off from his back in shreds and to be mauled, pummeled and covered with dirt by every filthy paper all over the country. And no woman that was not willing to be dragged through every kennel, and slopped into every dirty pail of water like an old mop, would ever consent to run as a candidate. Why, it’s an ordeal that kills a man. It killed General Harrison and it killed old Zach [Taylor]. And what sort of … a woman would it be that could stand it and come out of it without being killed?"

So commented Harriet Beecher Stowe when Victoria Woodhull announced her bid for the presidency in 1872.

The place: a distinguished publisher’s Park Avenue apartment. The date: Wednesday, June 18. The time: 8:45 AM. The occasion: a breakfast hosted by Gloria Steinem. The stated objective: to bring the Women for Barack Obama and the Hillary Clinton supporters into one cohesive group.

These emotional outbursts ... are just what male chauvinists say about woman's incapacity to coolly assess a situation.

The little blonde stood, arms akimbo, and vented her wrath: "I am a good friend of Hillary’s," she declared. "I’ve had her at my home, and I have always been there for her. I am here to tell you how angry and hurt I am and how hurt all Hillary supporters are by the sexist, disgusting way Hillary was attacked and pilloried by the media in this campaign. Until some acknowledgment of that is made, I am full of anger. I know the Democratic Party could have stopped it. I know Obama could have stopped it. But, everyone was silent and just let it happen and …"

Next up: a professor who took a full six minutes announcing her credentials and then said, "I used up my entire pension supporting Hillary. I went to 13 states and knocked on doors. I want everyone in this room to write in the name of Hillary Clinton on the ballot when they go to vote and …"

Another woman announced that she intended to launch a boycott of MSNBC. "I want all of you to sign my petition."

The chairperson of "Women for Obama," Becky Carroll, had flown in from Chicago and said she was tired. You’d be tired too with all that invective flying around the room. But Ms. Carroll couldn’t very well intervene, if catharsis was what was needed to unite Democratic women. Ms. Carroll was in a tough position – too tough to point out that Hillary Clinton had announced that her supporters should "take our energy, our passion, our strength and do all we can to help elect Barack Obama …" These emotional outbursts — and there were several more — are just what male chauvinists say about woman’s incapacity to coolly assess a situation.

Please note that so far there’s been no "I" word in my comments. The "I did this, I did that, I am hurt, I may not vote, I may vote for McCain," and so forth that have been heard lately may be what’s holding Democratic women back from fulfilling their potential to become a powerful coalition that could help guide this country back to safer ground.

581 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Dan Sarazen
Well, That’s a sweeping generalization. I hear late night comics making those jokes, but the previous poster did not.
By Dan Sarazen on 06/26/2008 6:38 pm
Diana T
I don’t know what you mean in regards to my “insulting elders”, but I bet I’m older than you are. So, I know about “savy seniors”. And yes, of all people that have to be part of this present time, it is the President of the USA. I know folks in their 90’s that have learned to use computers and are very happy being part of the cutting edge of our world. By the way, my circle of friends…and we all go from the early 60’s to up in the 80’s do not refer to each other as “elders”. We prefer to think Young.
By Diana T on 06/26/2008 11:05 pm
Frank Peterson
Well said Diana. As long as mental acuity is there, where’s the barrier to learning? I fully believe that any age can learn. I’m 64 and still learning every day—because I have the desire to learn and the subjects I study are wide-ranging. from a foreign language to astronomy to the sonnet sequences of Millay.
By Frank Peterson on 06/28/2008 7:46 pm
SURA B
But McCain is not one of them. He’s not aware or has no interest in maintaining his skills or learning anything new. Has there been any evidence that he has kept a sharp mind and knows what he is talking about? Defensiveness about aging is no solution or recommendaton. I’m 78, use a computer, live an independent life, handling my finances, etc., but I see an agiing man with memory losses, slow thinking, and a terrible temper who can’t manage a campaign or make reasonable decisions. He depends on Phil Gramm’s expertise. Isn’t that a sign of of an aging brain? This is not prejudice against an aging man; it is frankness about an aging man’s incompetence! Get over it!
By SURA B on 07/13/2008 8:19 am
Mary Lou From Maine
Why do you continually refer to Obama as BHO? Surely, you are not trying to make the most out of his middle initial? surely, you aren’t trying to slyly insert that old issue? and, why are you so defensive about the age issue? Computer illiteracy is a choice, not an age issue these days.
By Mary Lou From Maine on 06/30/2008 8:56 am
SURA B
As a senior, I recognize the geezr’s senior moments. I don’t consider it dissing seniors when I”m reminded that my memory is not what it used to be. McCain does not remember what he said yesterday or the week before, and he is so out of touch with everything which concerns us all—-the economy, especially—that he should be put out to pasture. And the truth was told, that his wartime experience is not a prerequisite for the presidency. He’s an extension of Bush and his memory is faltering. And, his easily expressed rages are a sign of aging though the boy was a hothead most of his life. Don’t use the prejudice against us seniors as an excuse for supporting an ambitious old fool!
By SURA B on 07/13/2008 8:13 am
Sarah N.
Marjorie, Your posts read like a tired diatribe from a failed swiftboat cheerleader. You rage against Obama bringing up McCains age when in fact it directly affects his ability to do his job, while refering to Obama by pointedly using his middle initial - the hallmark of a racist too chicken to come out in the light and own their prejudices….all while telling a woman offended by the use of a very offensive, sexist remark, to get over it. I’m not sure how you walk around your house without falling and tripping over the piles of hypocrisy laying about. The ‘older’ generation of this country has taken us to war blindly following a president who has lined his pockets with the blood of my generation, and saddled us with a debt we shall never pay off while paying for your generation to retire. It is we who are insulted. Because everytime we try to help ourselves, you are there holding us back with “how things are” or “how things have always been”…instead of focusing on “how things should be” or “how we can help”.
By Sarah N. on 06/27/2008 8:14 am
Diana T
Sarah, Or…how things can be with a positive imagination and a can-do YOUTHFUL attitude. That was the magic of President Kennedy. We need to have AA(attitude adjustment) in this country, which is why I am wanting a whole new fresh outlook. By the way, the rest of the world is fed up with the way we’ve been doing things also.
By Diana T on 06/27/2008 9:09 am
Sarah N.
Agree. It is a sad state of affairs when the children are telling their parents that we are in need of an AA and the adults stamp their feet and whine like petulent children.
By Sarah N. on 06/27/2008 11:21 am
Marjorie C.
Sarah: “… a tired diatribe from a failed swiftboat cheerleader.” My goodness, that’s hard to envision. Are you just throwing words together? About the ‘very offensive, sexist remark’, the word is being used over and over again on this site for its shock value. If that is the worst thing McCain has said, I’m willing to give hiim a pass on it, just like I’m willing to give Obama a pass on calling women ‘sweetie’. And about “It is we who are insulted. Because everytime we try to help ourselves, you are there holding us back with “how things are” or “how things have always been”…instead of focusing on “how things should be” or “how we can help”. Life isn’t just about you and your generation, sweetheart, so get used to it.
By Marjorie C. on 06/27/2008 3:07 pm
Sarah N.
life just isnt about you and your generation, sweetheart (LOL @ ‘forgiving’ sweetie then using sweetheart), so get used to it” ive already called you a giant hypocrite - so i dont really have anywhere else to go even though you once again, twice even in the same sentence, said one thing and done another. oh another thing - throwing words together? kinda doubt someone whos written briefs for the supreme court just throws words together but even if i was - id much rather be accused of that than copy pasting a rove inspired talking points memo. youre like one of those people who tried to rebel during her time and because she didn’t succeed has to punish anything innovative at all. quite frankly im surprised youre “on the internets”. that you identify yourself by political affiliation to one party of another is sad. that you betray that party and women who fought to be treated as equals for decades because youre sad “one of your kind” wont be president is nothing short of tragic.
By Sarah N. on 06/27/2008 4:18 pm
Marjorie C.
My goodness, Sarah. Stay away from the punch bowl, it’s making you crazy.
By Marjorie C. on 06/28/2008 5:08 am
Rush L
You go Girl! Those younger generations should feel privileged to pick-up the tab left behind by the previous generations. It’s not our fault that they can’t spend the federal dollars twice like we did (writing Socialist Security Checks AND using the money from Social Security to mask the true size of the national debt so we can still receive all the other services without paying more.) They just have to find a way to screw over the next generation like we did. Be creative. This is still America…until further notice.
By Rush L on 07/03/2008 11:52 am
Frannie Em
Sarah, We try not to call people names here. You sound like us when we were your age.
By Frannie Em on 06/28/2008 12:00 am
Sarah N.
I’m trying to figure out if you’re being funny here ;). I’m going to have to go with yes because I know theres no way you’d defend Marjorie’s words to myself and others as any less personal than mine. Racism and hypocrisy really bother me to be frank. Its nothing to do with blindly following a candidate like theyre my last hope - I supported Obama for president before the rest of the country knew who he was (Chicago girl here). When I see someone flipping out and making it a point to use B”H”O it gets to me because its like that person cant even step up to the plate and own the fact that they are racist. For fun when I encounter these people in real life and they defend usage of his full name including middle saying “its his name”…I ask them to use it when speaking about John McCain. I typically laugh (as do others) when every single last one of them don’t even know McCain’s middle name. It essentially outs them as racists in front of their peers and its a long long time before they shoot their mouths off like that again in front of me or anyone else. I’m tired of the hypocrisy in this country quite frankly.
By Sarah N. on 06/28/2008 6:48 am