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A Friend Stopped By | 06/26/2008 10:00 am

Message to All Whining Female Democrats: Hillary's Out. Get Over It, by Barbara Goldsmith

By Barbara Goldsmith
© iStock

Editor’s Note: Barbara Goldsmith is a prize-winning bestselling author and historian. She served on the Presidential Commission for the Celebration of Women in America History during President Clinton’s administration.

"Whoever is set up to be president of the United States is just set up to have his character torn off from his back in shreds and to be mauled, pummeled and covered with dirt by every filthy paper all over the country. And no woman that was not willing to be dragged through every kennel, and slopped into every dirty pail of water like an old mop, would ever consent to run as a candidate. Why, it’s an ordeal that kills a man. It killed General Harrison and it killed old Zach [Taylor]. And what sort of … a woman would it be that could stand it and come out of it without being killed?"

So commented Harriet Beecher Stowe when Victoria Woodhull announced her bid for the presidency in 1872.

The place: a distinguished publisher’s Park Avenue apartment. The date: Wednesday, June 18. The time: 8:45 AM. The occasion: a breakfast hosted by Gloria Steinem. The stated objective: to bring the Women for Barack Obama and the Hillary Clinton supporters into one cohesive group.

These emotional outbursts ... are just what male chauvinists say about woman's incapacity to coolly assess a situation.

The little blonde stood, arms akimbo, and vented her wrath: "I am a good friend of Hillary’s," she declared. "I’ve had her at my home, and I have always been there for her. I am here to tell you how angry and hurt I am and how hurt all Hillary supporters are by the sexist, disgusting way Hillary was attacked and pilloried by the media in this campaign. Until some acknowledgment of that is made, I am full of anger. I know the Democratic Party could have stopped it. I know Obama could have stopped it. But, everyone was silent and just let it happen and …"

Next up: a professor who took a full six minutes announcing her credentials and then said, "I used up my entire pension supporting Hillary. I went to 13 states and knocked on doors. I want everyone in this room to write in the name of Hillary Clinton on the ballot when they go to vote and …"

Another woman announced that she intended to launch a boycott of MSNBC. "I want all of you to sign my petition."

The chairperson of "Women for Obama," Becky Carroll, had flown in from Chicago and said she was tired. You’d be tired too with all that invective flying around the room. But Ms. Carroll couldn’t very well intervene, if catharsis was what was needed to unite Democratic women. Ms. Carroll was in a tough position – too tough to point out that Hillary Clinton had announced that her supporters should "take our energy, our passion, our strength and do all we can to help elect Barack Obama …" These emotional outbursts — and there were several more — are just what male chauvinists say about woman’s incapacity to coolly assess a situation.

Please note that so far there’s been no "I" word in my comments. The "I did this, I did that, I am hurt, I may not vote, I may vote for McCain," and so forth that have been heard lately may be what’s holding Democratic women back from fulfilling their potential to become a powerful coalition that could help guide this country back to safer ground.

581 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Agyness O
I like your attitude, Kitty. I really enjoy these political disussions on this site and definitely have my own strong opinions. However, I think we grow as people when we listen and share with others especially on a site such as this which is filled with smart, informed and intelligent women. And, do so without bitterness. Doris Kearns Goodwin’s book, “A Team of Rivals” shows how Lincoln did this very thing by listening to all sides and working with others. We are all the better for it. I thank all of you for sharing your points of view with me.
By Agyness O on 06/27/2008 12:01 pm
Dorothy Kaller
Insulting those of us who still feel that BHO is not our choice will not change the fact that he does not have enough experience. State senator spend limited time at work, part time really, and he is in his first US term. The fact he can give a good speech or organize a voting block does not equip him to deal with world leaders in my opinion. I am mildly amused that just by mentioning his middle initial all hell breaks loose.
By Dorothy Kaller on 06/26/2008 9:26 pm
EKA -
No insult intended. Being an effective leader takes a lot more than experience ( see Rumsfeld, Donald, Cheney, Dick) It takes judgement, temperament, intelligence, world view , humility and the ability to actually disagree with the smart people you surround yourself with. ( see “13 days”) His middle name is Hussein, same as his father & grandfather, whom he barely knew
By EKA - on 06/26/2008 9:43 pm
mitzi morris
Yes, but. It will take some time for this group of women to see what Obama does in order to appeal to women. The Hillary supporters are bruised by the outrageous and despicable sexism, and no one really did anything about it in a significant way except to complain. So it will take a while for feelings to heal, and Hillary will explain why it is necessary to elect Obama. There will be holdouts, but most of the women who supported Hillary will vote for Obama, but I think it’s insulting to be told here that anyone who is angry at the way the Democratic Party and MSM treated Hillary is “still whining”. These women have real feelings and they have to work this out. I’m sure they will. It all makes me wonder why we allow this kind of sexism to happen without massive response to those media and their clients who are dismissive and insulting.
By mitzi morris on 06/26/2008 9:26 pm
Lucinda Herbert
I know that I am not the only middle-aged baby boomer woman who did not cast a vote for Hillary Clinton. It’s Clinton fatigue! We are all tired of her and her husband. I have spoken with many women who feel exactly the way I do. I also was so put off by Hillary’s refusal to concede defeat and congratulate her opponent at the appropriate time. I am tired of all the talk about glass ceilings … she lost because Obama did a better job of managing his campaign. I also would like to remind Hillary and all those women who continue to whine about the unfairness of it all that women have lead many countries including Argentina, Bolivia, Canada, Chile, Great Britain, France, Iceland, India, Ireland, Israel, Pakistan, Philippines, Rwanda, Sri Lanka, and Turkey. To suggest that women can be elected to lead the aforementioned countries but not the United States is insulting to us as a nation. She wasn’t elected because she is the wrong person to lead this country … not because she’s a woman.
By Lucinda Herbert on 06/26/2008 9:37 pm
Brooklyn Gal
I found both the title as well as the post itself to show bias against Hillary—not just her supporters. She did not report on any of the women who were willing to work for the ticket and instead focused on a “select” few. There is no mention how the meeting really ended. It’s hard to believe that every person who attended did not have unity in mind. As for “Hillary’s time”…I thought that both Hillary and Obama may have infringed on Edward’s time. But, no one should really have succession rights. And, it might have been that kind of thinking that cost Hillary the nomination. But now it’s McCain and Obama’s time. I just wish the Town Hall meetings will begin soon and Obama agrees to do them. I would really like to see the two of them discuss their positions in more detail.
By Brooklyn Gal on 06/26/2008 10:13 pm
Listenin Lady  NY
I agree with Lucinda. Obama ran a better campaign. Hillary is not the right person to be the first woman president. She came close…..but not enough. I wish people would stop focusing on trying to get Hillary supporters to flip/convert over night. Give them time to adjust to the new reality. I am now living in upstate NY where there are many passionate Hillary supporters and after listening to them express their love of Hillary, I don’t share their feelings, but I believe that they need time to accept the loss and readjust. Why are people getting bent out of shape over this. The snipping needs to stop. While the Hillary supporters heal, the Obama organizers can move forward. After a nice summer vacation hopefully they can come to terms and realize that the best bet for the country and the party is a Democratic president.
By Listenin Lady NY on 06/27/2008 12:02 am
PJ Thequilter
Obama should show us his original birth certificate in order to get PUMA votes. He must also dig up some people he knows well who are not terrorists, thugs, thieves or felons. He has associated himself with ACORN his entire career and they have been implicated in voter fraud in a number of states. Rezko, Ayers, Dohrn, Auchi, Meeks, Wright, Pfleger, Blagojevich = long list of losers. Name one good thing Obama has done. No one can. Not even Nancy Pelosi could answer that question when Greta van Susteren asked her recently.
By PJ Thequilter on 06/27/2008 12:18 am
Dan Sarazen
Obama should show us his original birth certificate in order to get PUMA votes. He must also dig up some people he knows well who are not terrorists, thugs, thieves or felons. He has associated himself with ACORN his entire career and they have been implicated in voter fraud in a number of states.” WOW, I guess the “Swiftboating” of Obama has begun. So he knows nobody well, but people who are terrorists, thugs, thieves or felons? Care to sight ANY credible evidence of this? Any at all? So if I present even ONE person who he knows well, but is not a terrorists, thugs, thieves or felons, I guess your premise falls through? And secondly, people who live in glass houses tell me that the GOP has not only been implicated of voter fraud, but found guilty (See New Hampshire). As for John McCain, his long list of “loser” friends include: Bush, Cheney, Rummy, Wolfiwitz, Dobson, and Halliburton. I’ll take Obama’s long-since-past set of acquaintances over McCain’s current group of traitor and criminal friends any day.
By Dan Sarazen on 06/27/2008 5:36 am
Frannie Em
PJ Obama’s birth certificate is on: http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/fightthesmearshome/ Other than that - I don’t know answers to your other questions.
By Frannie Em on 06/27/2008 10:11 am
Dan Sarazen
Franny, The poster didn’t pose any questions. They just dropped their generic smears and ran for the hills before anybody called them on it.
By Dan Sarazen on 06/27/2008 10:26 am
~ countrywoman ~
To my fellow WowPosters

It is very revealing if you click on the poster’s name to check out her/his other “contributions” to the discussions. A few who post here are simply all smears, all the time. I think their agenda is called “flaming.” I can’t decide if it is better to respond to such comments, or to simply ignore them. I suppose it comes down to a concern that unchallenged garbage will appear to be tacit agreement vs taking the position that an obvious smear doesn’t merit the dignity of a response? I have applied both approaches from time to time and wonder what the rest of the community thinks about this situation?
By ~ countrywoman ~ on 06/27/2008 1:42 pm
Bonnie Oliver
Countrywoman - my vote is that we ignore them.
By Bonnie Oliver on 06/27/2008 3:58 pm
Frannie Em
countrywoman I make it a dedicated practice of a steady neglect.
By Frannie Em on 06/27/2008 7:21 pm
Elisabeth S
I vote for ignore. It’s a waste of typing energy to respond to what is obviously bait; not real discussion points. You are right they seem to come and go, whereas genuine exchanges occur among ongoing contributors. I appreciate all of them so much.
By Elisabeth S on 06/27/2008 8:40 pm