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A Friend Stopped By | 06/26/2008 10:00 am

Message to All Whining Female Democrats: Hillary's Out. Get Over It, by Barbara Goldsmith

By Barbara Goldsmith
© iStock

Editor’s Note: Barbara Goldsmith is a prize-winning bestselling author and historian. She served on the Presidential Commission for the Celebration of Women in America History during President Clinton’s administration.

"Whoever is set up to be president of the United States is just set up to have his character torn off from his back in shreds and to be mauled, pummeled and covered with dirt by every filthy paper all over the country. And no woman that was not willing to be dragged through every kennel, and slopped into every dirty pail of water like an old mop, would ever consent to run as a candidate. Why, it’s an ordeal that kills a man. It killed General Harrison and it killed old Zach [Taylor]. And what sort of … a woman would it be that could stand it and come out of it without being killed?"

So commented Harriet Beecher Stowe when Victoria Woodhull announced her bid for the presidency in 1872.

The place: a distinguished publisher’s Park Avenue apartment. The date: Wednesday, June 18. The time: 8:45 AM. The occasion: a breakfast hosted by Gloria Steinem. The stated objective: to bring the Women for Barack Obama and the Hillary Clinton supporters into one cohesive group.

These emotional outbursts ... are just what male chauvinists say about woman's incapacity to coolly assess a situation.

The little blonde stood, arms akimbo, and vented her wrath: "I am a good friend of Hillary’s," she declared. "I’ve had her at my home, and I have always been there for her. I am here to tell you how angry and hurt I am and how hurt all Hillary supporters are by the sexist, disgusting way Hillary was attacked and pilloried by the media in this campaign. Until some acknowledgment of that is made, I am full of anger. I know the Democratic Party could have stopped it. I know Obama could have stopped it. But, everyone was silent and just let it happen and …"

Next up: a professor who took a full six minutes announcing her credentials and then said, "I used up my entire pension supporting Hillary. I went to 13 states and knocked on doors. I want everyone in this room to write in the name of Hillary Clinton on the ballot when they go to vote and …"

Another woman announced that she intended to launch a boycott of MSNBC. "I want all of you to sign my petition."

The chairperson of "Women for Obama," Becky Carroll, had flown in from Chicago and said she was tired. You’d be tired too with all that invective flying around the room. But Ms. Carroll couldn’t very well intervene, if catharsis was what was needed to unite Democratic women. Ms. Carroll was in a tough position – too tough to point out that Hillary Clinton had announced that her supporters should "take our energy, our passion, our strength and do all we can to help elect Barack Obama …" These emotional outbursts — and there were several more — are just what male chauvinists say about woman’s incapacity to coolly assess a situation.

Please note that so far there’s been no "I" word in my comments. The "I did this, I did that, I am hurt, I may not vote, I may vote for McCain," and so forth that have been heard lately may be what’s holding Democratic women back from fulfilling their potential to become a powerful coalition that could help guide this country back to safer ground.

581 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Jennifer
Get over it.” Hmmmm…. Sounds suspiciously like the dismissive comments of one Barack Obama. Consider: *Recently, he dismissively called a female reporter sweetie as he dodged her question. (He later apologized.) *At one of his victory speeches (in Iowa I think), speaking about his wife he said something along the lines of - “I just want to take a point of pride and say that I have a good looking wife and kids.” Now, I imagine that that he saw this as a compliment and that his wife and the audience took the remark as just that. But, why only compliment her and his daughters based on their looks? For a man who is so eloquent, it’s curious that he didn’t follow with other adjectives like smart, hard-working, determined, brilliant, etc. *And yesterday I read that in a discussion with members of the Congressional Black Caucus, Senator Obama basically said women will have to “get over it” - presumably their disappointment the sexism Senator Clinton faced in the campaign and in her loss as well as how millions of them feel dismissed. *Oh, and who can forget his dismissive remark to Hillary Clinton during the debate - you’re likable enough. So, I would offer that not only the media has been sexist in its treatment of Senator Clinton, but so has Senator Obama. I’ve also noticed numerous comments on cable “news” programs and in online message boards from male Obama supporters that are outright misogynistic, and that sickens, angers and scares me. Just as the “little blonde” (referred to in Goldsmith’s blog) pointed out, Senator Obama could have stopped this and still has the power to do so. Will he? Let’s see how much of a leader he really is. Until then, I’m not over it, although I may be over him …
By Jennifer on 06/26/2008 10:50 am
Star Lawrence
I like the phrase—may be over him. I visualize people sitting up with little stars and bubbles around their head, saying, “What was that all about?” I just hope there are enough of them.
By Star Lawrence on 06/26/2008 11:13 am
Elisabeth S
But Star-McCain? What to do. I’ve seen previous posts saying there is something about “Obama” you don’t trust. I am curious about that, because I have had similar feelings, but can’t put my finger on why. He seems so smart and genuine. What doesn’t add up?
By Elisabeth S on 06/26/2008 5:22 pm
Star Lawrence
I just get a weird vibe. Where did he come from so suddenly? Why did he get the leg up for that speech at the convention? All his background info (why two autobios at 46 and composited characters in them?)? When was he “on food stamps”—his grandmother was a bank VP. I would like to see a time line. Who cares if a candidate was on food stamps, if he was, anyhow—does that make him understand us downscalers? He is supposed to be “new.” Well, 2/3 of his money comes from large bundlers—not the small donations. He has changed his positions so many times on things—just so far. To me, he is the one who subtly introduces race—did you read in his speech how he was lamenting the blood of white slaveowners running in the veins of his precious daughters? From his wife’s side—he added. His too cool for school hiphop stuff—I probably hear more hiphop in a day than he does. His condescension toward Hillary—nice enough, she can stay in as along as she wants…So many little things. I don’t like this guy and have no idea what he is up to or would be up to or if he could govern. His adherents have also hacked and shut down certain websites against him—though I do not attribute that to him directly.
By Star Lawrence on 06/27/2008 10:21 am
Elisabeth S
Thanks for the reply. I am curious about who is behind him. Elsewhere in this thread some have suggested he is a “front” for Dean and some other anti-Clinton Dems. What do you think? Do you think it is a matter of the Dems wanting to be back in power and rid of the Ciintons, as I think maybe Frannie suggested? Do you think he has ulterior motives that might prove dangerous or bad for the country? I think we got a “front man” with George Bush and too much behind the scenes ideology based policy that has been a failure. Now we are paying the price. i hate to turn into a major cynic about people’s potential to do good. Any thoughts?
By Elisabeth S on 06/27/2008 10:38 pm
Marjorie C.
Elisabeth, My opinion is that, yes, he is or will be the front man for Dean, Pelosi and various career senators (POTUS wannabees). That part alone is not be so bad. So we get another Bush-type for 4 years — maybe we’d survive it. However, BHO himself has his own designs. And the DNC and all its lackeys are simply the vehicle to arrive at it. Putting him as Commander and Chief of our armed forces scares me the most. He’s arrogant, unreliable, loose with the truth and his disdain for whites has been shown over and over again. Why would we want to risk putting someone so potentially radical as head of state when we have an option to choose something else. McCain’s not perfect, but we pretty much know what he stands for. There is a far better chance that the U.S. will prosper or at least remain on an even keel with McCain than BHO.
By Marjorie C. on 06/28/2008 6:22 am
Diana T
Well, I’d rather my husband say that about me than call me a c**t.
By Diana T on 06/26/2008 3:12 pm
CAT Tastic
This couldn’t be more the proverbial case of the least of the evils. Only, which one, Barack or McCain is the least of the evils?
By CAT Tastic on 06/29/2008 6:50 pm
G T
Well, as the old saying goes, “act in haste, repent in leisure”
By G T on 06/26/2008 10:53 am
Alessan O
Hillary was not my number one choice, John Edwards was, I am still not over it. I’ll support the Democratic ticket, because it’s a lot better than the McSame ticket. So far I really feel Obama is GW Bush lite. John Edwards thinks he’ll be okay, I hope he’s right. I thought of Hillary Clinton as a little bit of Bill Clinton, one of the best Presidents the US has had in modern times. I don’t buy the neo-con BS about baggage, what baggage, they are pro human beings, republicans are anti-human being..
By Alessan O on 06/26/2008 11:01 am
E .
Get over “it”. If by “it” you mean that Hillary Clinton lost - I am over it. I was over it long before primary season was over when the writing was on the wall. In fact, in view of the popularized witch hunt connected to Hillary Clinton which has continued for more than a decade I was over it before she ever announced. While I hoped she’d win I had a nagging sense that she couldn’t. If by “it” you mean the use of overt hostility and sexism to defeat Hillary, or the failure of the major players in the Democratic party to call out the hate and put an end to it, or the failure of so many American women themselves to recognize, call out and put down the use of sexism to defeat a woman, or if you mean the Democratic party’s downward spiral into an embarrassing subversion of Democracy and cheap imitation of the Republican party’s most ridiculous methods - well, that’s a tougher and perhaps too rancid nut to chew on. My vote in November will be based on intelligent reasoning - not an “incapacity to coolly assess a situation” fueled by the wrath of crazy lady hormones. I have not yet thrown my support behind any candidate because I do have questions and concerns about their fitness NOT because “the woman lost”.
By E . on 06/26/2008 11:03 am
K O
Well said, Elizabeth. I certainly like the way you express your opinions. This article was quite provocative, and you toned the rhetoric down quite a bit. Thank you for that.
By K O on 06/26/2008 11:24 am
E .
Thanks Kitty. Hate and ignorance isn’t something to just forget about and “get over” is it?
By E . on 06/26/2008 12:25 pm
EKA -
By “it”, I mean the primary. Hillary lost, Obama won, now it is time to put a democrat back in the White House. The ‘it’ you refer to as the overt hostility & sexism, I just don’t see it as the reason she lost. She ran a terrible campaign, but her staunch supporters just can’t believe it, there’s GOT to be another reason. She was the first viable woman, she HAD to win… all our hopes and aspirations were with her, how could this happen ? It HAD to be sexism ! Yes, there were sexist and misogynist comments, we knew that would happen to the first woman, but there were equal racist comments about Obama.I received MUCH more crap about him over the internet, not to mention what I heard personally from “friends”. He beat Hillary because he ran a new, brilliant campaign , a much more internet savvy campaign. Bill HURT her, she should never forgive him. My request to those who say “we just don’t know who he is ” PLEASE read his book “Dreams from my father” It will answer your questions, calm your fears. It is what convinced me, and my children, to choose him over Hillary. I am not against Hillary, I am FOR Obama !
By EKA - on 06/26/2008 11:38 am
SURA B
I totally agree with you. I read Obama’s book as soon as it was published and long before he ran for the presidency, and I told my children that he is the man of the future. And, he’s a guy I recognize, because he resembles the younger generation of internationally minded people at ease with themselves and the world—and he would be an asset in our foreign policies, as well as representing all of us who feel our country is diverse and complex. I’m 78 and voted in my first primary to support Obama. As for moaning and groaning about Hillary’s loss, indeed, it was not sexism but very poor management skills in running an awful campaign—bsaed on egotism and grand expectations (which Bill ranted about) Two Clintons in the White House would be awful. WOULD ANYONE WANT A PRESIDENT WHO CAN’t MANAGE THE OFFICE? CRAZY! We’ve already had a pampered son creating the largest deficit, destroying our foreign policy, and alienating most of the world. Sexism, my foot! She lost; it’s time to move on and vote for Obama. And, don’t use the minor tidbits to criticize him; we’ve got more important issues to cope with, and McCain is not the guy to manage the government. Another fool heading a mismanaged campaign, and leaving the country for a good will visit while the fires are burning.
By SURA B on 07/13/2008 8:34 am