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A Friend Stopped By | 07/16/2008 7:44 am

Sex and the Pretty: How Good Sex Keeps Your Skin Looking Young, by Shirley Lord

By Shirley Lord
sexy skin, good sex can help you stay young
stockphoto4U/iStock

Editor’s Note: Shirley Lord has had a front-row view of the beauty business for years. Born in London, she was working on Fleet Street at the age of 18. In the early 70s she moved to the United States and became beauty editor of Harper’s Bazaar. In 1980 she left for American Vogue, where she has had a long and distinguished career. She is the author of five novels, two "Bibles" on health and beauty and an autobiography.

Being in love and being loved back and having a good SEX life is VERY, VERY good for the skin.

The late and great cosmetic scientist, Marguerite Maury (a founder in London of aromatherapy, the use of essential oils to cure problems from acne to obesity), pointed out in The Secret of Life and Youth: "The sexual life of a woman is of the greatest importance to her appearance. Whereas the functions of the man are exogenous and extroverted and he will suffer most from premature old age by abuse of these functions (in other words overdoing it !), the woman- being introverted and endogenous –will grow older and swifter by deficiency" (not enough sex in her life).

In fact, the way you cope with life – your temperament and whether you can handle your problems or not — can also show significantly on your face. Losing your temper on a regular basis can age you. You have only to look in the mirror after a lover’s quarrel, tears or no tears, to see its affect on your looks. And what you see is your skin disturbed by signals sent from the brain.

As the famous European dermatologist, Dr. Joseph Hoffman, wrote in his tome The Life and Death of The Cell, "…if one went to the trouble it would be feasible to measure the degree of love, hate and anxiety experienced by a human being by the rate of his or her cellular destruction."

Think of the phenomenon of blushing. The brain sends subliminal (or embarrassed) signals to the skin, which responds with the blood vessels dilating, filling with blood and turning the skin pink. Fear works in reverse; blood flow reduces to produce a deathly pallor. When we are unhappy or cry skin can look mottled because of “unhappy” signals; when we’re in love and have a satisfying sex life our skin can and often does look "radiant" with joy.

There is a scientific explanation for all this. Before birth, at the embryo stage, we are two things, the ectoderm and the endoderm. The ectoderm becomes the skin organ, the largest organ of the body, which wraps up the endoderm, our insides. As the nine months progress, part of the ectoderm becomes the brain, creating a link between brain and skin that is far more intimate than that between the brain and any other organ of the body.

43 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Dab-a- do
Maggie, “Does this have to include another person?” Actually I was wondering the same thing. Today Whoopie mentioned the use of a sexual aide and the younger members on “The View” dismissed the use of one. Not in their life! Whoopie said something like ‘If you haven’t used one, you will eventually.” I laughed because since sex is suppose to be approximately 90% in the mind, another person doesn’t necessarily have to be present.LOL. The younger generation really think they know it all. (As we did when we were the younger generation)
By Dab-a- do on 07/16/2008 6:04 pm
Bella Mia
My grandmother had beautiful skin into her 90’s and she always told me: Stay out of the sun!! After I went through the tan teenager thing in the 70’s, I have stayed out of the sun ever since, except for some gardening late in the day or early morning. I make sure I get enough sun for vitamin D - usually a 30 minute walk. But absolutely no face tanning. Having lived in California for 30 years, I saw tanned women who looked great in their 30’s, but who started to look like old shoe leather in their 40’s and 50’s. They were my mother’s contemporaries, and it sobered me up quite a bit. And I’m a sex and chocolate affectionado, too. Connoisseur, really.
By Bella Mia on 07/16/2008 6:30 pm
James the Game
I wouldn’t know about the benefits of sex, but exercise, good genes (or jeans!), and not getting too much sunlight have worked fine for me. Someone referenced chocolate. I have an addiction to milk chocolate. Usually, one candy bar a day. If I’m a good buy, I’ll settle for the not-so-fattening Peppermint Patty.
By James the Game on 07/16/2008 7:52 pm
James the Game
Freudian slip…good boy, not good buy.
By James the Game on 07/16/2008 7:55 pm
Maggi D
James - you are tooooo funny.
By Maggi D on 07/17/2008 12:48 am
Kryssi K
Sadly, this may explain why I have such HORRIBLE skin. So…if I finally get laid, will my eczema and acne clear up??? Please God!
By Kryssi K on 07/17/2008 4:36 am
Harold Rogers
I think the correlation may not be causal, but merely an observation — finding sex partners and encouraging relationships is easier if you look good. So which is it, sex makes you look better, or looking better results in more sex. As to the impact on men, the author of this piece is clueless. More sex doesn’t cause a man to age faster, more likely it’s the opposite. I don’t know, I’m not that old (yet). A better correlation would be — take pride in yourself, take care of yourself, and you will look better, including your skin.
By Harold Rogers on 07/17/2008 9:42 pm
K K
I fell in love with my clitoris a decade ago.. or my clitoris fell in love with me.. Hard to say which happened first. Either way, I benefit. And apparently, so does my skin! Thankfully, I’m married to a man who learned to nurture the power of my pleasure I’m so enamored with. Otherwise, at this stage in my life, I’m not interested in wasting my beauty, waiting for paradise to happen. It has to be now. It has to be tomorrow. It has to be forever.
By K K on 07/18/2008 1:18 am
Martha Cavanagh
Back to the top/bottom conversation… Honest to God, I actually had a guy tell me, when we were at it, “You look younger your on your back.” I was 41 at the time. I use Cetaphil. And always considered a very attractive woman. I damn near died. My ears and face were burning and spinning. I couldn’t BELIEVE someone would really say such a thing!! Yeah, well, I did a test. We do look different from above. But can you imagine?? And he was 18 years older that I! Needless to say, he didn’t last much longer. And that was 13 years ago. I sure as hell never forgot it. I just wish now that I had said, “Well, you should get a look at what I see from here!” Live and learn .
By Martha Cavanagh on 07/18/2008 7:02 am
Jeanette Foresta
What an ass! Martha wrote, he said, “You look younger on your back.” How can anyone enjoy sex after that? Yeah, live and learn. One time I told a guy, I said, gee the way your breathing i hope you don’t have a heart attack! He said that shocked him, because no one ever said that to him before, that he was a stud, a ladies man he said. Afterwards he went on a crash diet. Lost forty pounds, or more. What people say really sticks in the brain. I hate that. ;)
By Jeanette Foresta on 07/22/2008 12:29 pm
Hope D
Since we are talking about “radiant” skin, does anyone want to share their favorite face moisturizer? I have been spending hundreds!!! on the “good” stuff and if I only have to dig in and have great sex more often, I would like to know what everyone thinks about a less expensive face cream that only supplements the sex life…LOL Any suggestions?
By Hope D on 07/24/2008 7:59 pm
Beth Cavalli
Oh! my comment on Phyllis’s Nun theory is that don’t they think of England when the urge comes up? LOL…I believe that a happy life, which sex is part of (single or two person) is a major factor in skin. I am having a wonderful relationship with a man 10 years younger than I. The happiness that he makes me feel I know adds to the blushing that is referred to in the article. Yes, the sex is great! ok, now for my last thought. Phyllis mentioned that they would not tell us about how we would look when we were preggers….They did not warn me about what my skin would do when stretched to its limit. I want a lotion that returns it to non marked…..My body is good enough for a bikini, but, alas, my skin it not. Sigh……..
By Beth Cavalli on 07/24/2008 10:11 pm
Georgia Peach
I just joined this site and saw your post about having a relationship with a man ten years your junior. I have been seeing one 6 years my junior and have kind of been tortured by it. It’s nice to see that you’re having a wonderful relationship with a man TEN years younger. Don’t you run into issues of maturity or anything else? I would imagine the sex must be amazing with ten years younger if I’m having this much fun with just the six. My guy is a body builder so I’m sure that has something to do with it. I love the part that your body is fit for bikini wear, if I only had that going on and I’m younger than you…good for you! If I could only get past this uncertainty…How long has your relationship lasted? Thanks, Georgia P
By Georgia Peach on 09/02/2008 10:56 pm