Mark, Did you read my blog? You wrote “They want a long e-mail romance.” I assume you are saying that women want this. Wrong! I wrote that e-mail only works for a short time and that face to face meetings must happen soon in order to determine whether the woman should proceed onward with the “relationship”.

I have read comments on this site many times and not always agreed but have refrained from commenting. But I gotta say, the negativity surrounding online dating is irritating. Tell me, other than hanging out in bars, church or the produce section, just how do you propose we “put ourselves out there” after a certain age and when our careers and lifestyles prevent devoting time to new hobbies, etc? I did online dating off and on for 3 years, and yes, there are some nuts jobs out there. The old saying “ya gotta kiss alot of frogs to find your prince” is just as true for online dating as it was in high school, college, etc. You need to know who you are and not settle for anything less than what you know you deserve in order to weed through the bad to get to the good. And don’t spend weeks or months chatting online….meet as soon as you can and be honest if you’re not interested. Respect yourself and the people you are meeting and the outcome will be much more pleasant. I am now 2 1/2 years into a healthy and happy relationship with a wonderful guy that I met online. We would have never crossed paths without the online opportunity. If I had given up (or never tried) I would have lost out on true love.

Re my above comment a couple of women who expressed interest in me played the I’m-too-busy-for-next-couple of weeks routine to make a date. Made a date a few weeks out with one who seemed particularly promising but broke it when a savvier lady met me almost immediately to quickly become my girlfriend. More than ever it’s a man’s world.

Kermie—Women dish out criticism of men 24/7 but can’t take it when it comes back their way.

Nothing ventured nothing gained. If you live in the suburbs and are busy working and raising teenagers and don’t consider spending your evening “out there’ (wherever that is) on-line dating sites can possibly offer options that enhance your life. The Love Goddess points are, as usual, insightful and helpful to women finding their way in foreign territory. Keep it up!

Yeah I’m kind of curious as to where "out there" is myself.  And it has nothing to do with age…I’m only 27 myself.  But, I have a job, a life, and a niece adn a nephew to raise.  I don’t like bars (nor do I like the men that usually frequent them) and I don’t attend church for the same reason. I spend my time doing what makes me happy, and well, let’s face it, if you aren’t trampy you don’t get noticed at my age. It feels often that men in my dating age range don’t want a quality woman.  I have seen who they choose over me and while I odn’t like to think that I am concieted, I do happen to be fantastic. I’m smart, independant, pretty, caring, thoughtful, and extremely loving. The fact is that I have assets that many men won’t even know about until he gets to know me (particularly because I happen to NOT be a tramp…). But, I have an online presence.  I met my current boyfriend on Myspace just browsing for some people who might have some of the same interestes as I do.  I wasn’t really loking for a date.  I was looking for a friend. But, I thought he was cute, so I took a chance and sent him a message.  I found someone that so far wants the qualities I have to offer. 

I’ve done the "dating" sites as well, but to be honest I had no luck whatsoever. I’ve done better just being on Myspace adn Facebook and talking with my friends, both online and real life friends, and letting people see the real me, not just an online persona. I put a lot of information out there, but not so much that I’m unsafe.  I don’t put any information out there that I woudln’t reveal meeting someone face to face, or that htey couldn’t find out by looking me up through other networks, such as school or work profiles. Because I’m just doing what I would normally do-catching up with my friends and sharing news, good or bad, people who are interested in me find out who I am, and I can do the same thing with them prior to meeting them.

 

As far as expecting a long email romance, that is just about as stupid as saying that all women want flowers and candy on Valentine’s Day (for the record, I don’t like getting either of those). HOwever, there are reasons to keep talking.  Lies are difficult to keep up. They will hash themselves out over time. f you don’t put out ridiculous crap that will have someone’s expectations up, there is no reason to worry about this…they won’t be disappointed in you. You can’t guarantee what they will do, but if you keep talking, they will eventually break it down. I have done both….met after months of email correspondence, and met within two weeks. It all depends on what the participants are comfortable with. To be very honest (because I’ve been so reserved so far…), someone who will rule someone out for not meeting them immediately is just as bad as someone who will not date someone who sleeps with them on the first date. The woman that took her time will probably be better off anyway.