Joan Juliet Buck | 03/25/2008 3:46 pm

I Read the News Today, Oh Boy: Hillary and I Dodged the Same Bullet

There used to a young philosopher in New York who could not tell a straight story. Everything that happened to him was amazing, unbelievable, astounding, baroque. I thought he had the most remarkable life, until one evening when we both went to the same dinner party.

A few things happened at the dinner party: Someone almost spilled a drink on the philosopher; Lillian Hellman, blind, was led through the dining room with great care by the young man who took care of her. The roast lamb was good, and the hosts were kind, even if an older writer, standing with me by the fireplace, shot me a look of hatred when I said I was about to have my first novel published.

Being the two youngest people at the dinner, the philosopher and I went on to Elaine’s afterwards, to continue the evening with friends. As I sat in the smoky gloom of Elaine’s I heard the philosopher talk about the party we had just left.

Someone had poured a bottle of red wine over his head. Funny, I thought, I must have been in the other room. As I scrutinized his shirt for stains, he told the table that Lillian Hellman had fallen flat on her face. “Blind, you know. She was trying walk through the dining room alone, poor thing, and no one would move aside for her. That’s how much they hate her now”. I was shaking my head. Someone asked if Lillian Hellman was all right. He explained that the wealthy and powerful hosts had summoned their own doctor, who had bandaged her bleeding arm, but that the old battle-ax had merely demanded another tumbler of neat Scotch and refused to leave the dining table.

I tried to tell our friends what had really happened, but he was too quick. Pointing at me, he shook his head, and exclaimed: “And Joan! Do you know she actually got attacked?”

“No!!!” went the chorus.

“No!!!" I said weakly.

“Yes!!” said the philosopher. “She and that old writer were standing by the fireplace, and he picked up the fire tongs and tried to bash her head in when she said she had a novel coming out. It’s a miracle she survived.”

Everyone congratulated me on dodging a bullet.

Just like Hillary did in Bosnia.

38 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Would you mind being specific and, therefore, more credible about this gap you call audacious?

By Dan Hamrick on 04/12/2008 7:58 am

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If my daughter had gone on a trip with me to Bosnia and walked next to me after we get off the plane and saw me kissing a child and (most likely) remembers that trip…then heard me tell a greatly embellished tale about the incident, I wonder what she’d think of me. Especially, if I’d written a book that detailed the trip. I usually remember something that happen even better when I’ve written them down. I’m sorry to see the desparation in the first woman to run for president. Makes me sad. Kinda puts the lie to the idea the if a woman was running things it would be a better country. Grace under pressure is what I expected. Sad, sad, sad.

By im p on 03/25/2008 10:18 pm

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Forget Bosnia! Senator Clinton faces crowds of people every day right here, in a country where we traditionally shoot public people we don’t like. I can’t imagine the courage it takes every time she steps out in public with all the nutzo irrational hatred of her floating around. Could we just think for a minute before we beat up on her - would you have that kind of courage, which she shows on a daily basis? Not only does somebody jump down her throat every time she opens her mouth, do you think for a minute that she doesn’t receive death threats? If Senator Clinton is elected to serve as the first woman President of the United States, her life will be in danger every day she sits in the Oval Office. And yet she goes on, doing her job. What right do any of us have to judge her? Are we all that that we believe we are entitled to treat her as target practice for the slings and arrows of our not-so-better natures? In 21st century America, rather than thinking about walking a mile in someone’s shoes, we criticize them for not wearing Prada. Sad. Isn’t there a moment we could take to admire and respect the achievements of Senator Clinton? For just years of my lifetime, the only way a woman became a United States senator is when her husband died and she was appointed. And does anyone not think that she was one of the main architects of her husband’s meteoric rise to prominence on the national stage? He was, after all, the youngest governor in Arkansas history, and she had a lot to do with how those campaigns were designed. Please, a little respect. God knows, she’s earned it, over and over again.

By Mugsy Peabody on 03/25/2008 10:45 pm

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Mugsy you are my hero. Why can’t people see the sexism at work in this campaign.

By jm m on 03/26/2008 5:49 am

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Thank you, darlin’. Baci baci.

By Mugsy Peabody on 03/26/2008 12:32 pm

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We have every right to appraise every aspect and trait of every candidate. That’s what gathering information for sound judgments in the voting booth is all about. We do not have a monarchy; we have an executive with two other branches of government that are supposed to be co-equal. No one requires them to run. As for the Clintons, they appear to have found out how to capitalize bigtime by using their public offices for private gain. So feel sorry for them if you wish!

By Dan Hamrick on 04/12/2008 8:04 am

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She told a blatant lie and got caught. If she’d just admit it and apologize for choosing to do it I might have a little respect for her. Not much, but as much as she deserves. As it stands, I have no respect whatsoever for her. Respect must be earned, and she just hasn’t earned any.

By Jane Goodwin on 03/25/2008 11:32 pm

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The Bush Administration (Colin Powell is still apologizing) told blatant lies to embroil this country and our allies in an illegal, immoral, ill-considered, and unjust murder of something over 100,000 Iraqis which has mostly benefited a company formerly headed up by the sitting Vice President, i.e., Halliburton. Our great-grandchildren will still be repaying the Chinese the money we’ve borrowed to pursue this course. If you want to talk about lying, let’s talk about that.

By Mugsy Peabody on 03/26/2008 1:13 am

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Oh, for the love of might. Are we to get into a pissing contest over memory blocks. Is that the best the Obama camp could get out there to draw attention away from Rev. Wright? There was another young African American set up shop in Southside Chicago in ‘69 0r was it ‘68. big Afro, daishiki clad young man leading a rainbow group of eager followers, “I’m black and I’m proud.” Operation Bread Basket drew rich, poor, celebrated and hardworking. For this 21-year old white girl from the segregated South, his message and his presense were powerful. Jesse Jackson: sure don’t remember the day, but the message has lingered for decades. As has the powerful outreach and raised voices of Glide Memorial in San Francisco. The poer of African American ministers has a long history of erudition and political savvy….for those prepared to think for themselves. Go head on with your bad self, Hillary. We got your back.

By beth willis on 03/26/2008 12:28 am

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There is too much at stake for our children on every level, to make excuses for Hillary’s LIES. 79 million boomers are rushing past the 60 year mark, ice is breaking off North Pole glaciers, we are in TWO wars not counting addressing the real culprits responsible for 9/11, Medicare and SS are underfunded, 44 million Americans lack health insurance, Wall Street and the deregulated banking industries require another bailout while homeowners they defrauded are losing their homes by the millions, oil is over $100/barrel… The Presidency is not an entitlement, nor do we believe in dynasties or third terms. A woman will rise worthy of the opportunity to SERVE who will not cut corners or damage the Party to which she belongs as an either her or nobody choice. After the 2000 Election cycle and the disgraceful aftermath, also built on ambush followed by years of BLATENT LIES, Americans need to turn the page. We don’t vote for saints. We should vote for LEADERSHIP. Bush has demonstrated HOW one wins is a predictor of HOW ONE GOVERNS. We do not have to compromise this year. There is an alternative to the Clintons and their non-existent Congressional coattails. Triangulation serves ONLY the Clintons, as we all learned after losing the Congress after half a century — in the 90s. Turn the page. Please.

By Renata on 03/26/2008 1:08 am

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I will be voting for the democratic nominee in November regardless, but…she lied.

By M. S. on 03/26/2008 9:11 am

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She who is without sin cast the first stone … We have all unintentionally misspoken at one time or another as we misremember details of our lives. Senator Clinton’s story has been corrected. Don’t we have bigger fish to fry on the road to the White House?

By Jozie Lee on 03/26/2008 10:10 am

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I’ll vote for either Hillary or Barrack, but I must say that I’m very disappointed that she would lie so blatantly. I can’t imagine why she would think that could possibly be a good story. There were so many witnesses, cameras, etc! It certainly makes me question her other stories - and all of her book… By the way - the philosopher story reminds me of the beating the heck out of the truth that my mother is famous for! ;-)

By Lisa E on 03/26/2008 12:24 pm

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No wonder Hillary found it in her “heart” to forgive Bill for his lies and indiscretions. They are cut from the same cloth.

By Giving Heart on 03/26/2008 1:42 pm

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I just don’t understand this. What is “heart” — do you know Senator Clinton? No, probably not. In fact, people I know who know her know her to have a very big “heart.” Is this a sample of “compassion?” I just find it hard to fathom the viciousness toward the Clintons. Like White Water, they lost $35,000 in a land deal which is really not our business, and we spent millions of the taxpayers’ dollars trying to show they’d done something “wrong.” Meantime, the sitting vice president is the former head of Halliburton, the biggest financial beneficiary of the Iraqi slaughter, and whether President Clinton got a blow job umpty so years ago is still what you’re talking about. These people killed 4000 of our kids, and every military recruiter in the country is lying through his/her teeth when they tell kids tours of duty are like a year. Oh, sure, like a year that goes on for 60 months. The Clintons’ marriage is not the public business, but the expense of our public money, our military personnel, our once good moral capital — these are serious and significant issues, involving lies constantly going unchallenged. As a citizen, I’m really tired of being distracted by this constant focus on everything but the elephant in the livingroom. The elephant has crapped all over everything holy, and we and our children are going to spend generations trying to clean this mess up. Maybe it’s easier to get all stirred up about some little screwup on the campaign trail than face the horrors of what is being done in our name overseas each and every day. But easier or not, it’s “wrong.” And if you are not a close personal friend, you should call her by her title, Senator Clinton. Someone who has such a hateful attitude shouldn’t be so familiar toward her. Sye is a United States Senator, and deserves the respect of that office.

By Mugsy Peabody on 03/26/2008 11:01 pm